the Leonard Cohen diet.

[EdgarAleNPie]

I have weight to lose. the three little Poes have left their mark various on my body, and i need to straighten up and sort it out.

my partiular weaknesses are: milk - from the bottle. it makes calves gain weight, so not suprising if i drink enough it'll have the same effect on me.

baking: everytime i bake i eat a reasonable amount of mix beoe the cake is finished.

all-bran - its still 17% sugar.

The solution: one small meal a day with cake afterwards, and any time i feel hungry, I am allowed tea and oranges. If bore and tempted to pick, i can listen to Cohen himself or perhaps, a dcent radio 4 session.

I have four weeks then until a weding where i hope to wear a pre-first pregnancy ress without it being obscene.

dress.

As long as the tea and oranges come all the way from China you'll be fine (for a while).

oranges high in sugar
and cake after eat meal

doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

EdgarAleNPie - are you having a laugh with us?

If not some advice - if you want it

1. don't bake - at least til the wedding
2. eat small regualr meals of protein & lots of veg. snack on fruit & small amount of nuts. try & limit or cut out alcohol.
3. but DVD - 30 day Shred - it'll make you smaller in inches - in time for the wedding & is only 20 mins a day - see our thread on here.

in a quiet way, yes i am having a laugh though an esoteric one, but diet wise...this does work (of course it does!)

a diet that does not involve any cake would never work for me, though i'm not sure if LC would approve. His outlook seems cakeless.

i have no baking in the next 4 weeks as the only birthday is mine so am safe on that one.

no booze apart from friday night (i am a cheap round and out of it by pint 4)

DVD sounds good but just can't bring myself to bounce until a bit smaller - i do 2 dog walks a day - one slow with toddler on back, one quick just with dog.

although i'm sure a range of fruit/nuts would be better, i only like oranges, though indeed, to be truly following the LC diet they would have to come from China.

have deviated by eating crusts from DSs cheese on toast, the LC solution to this might be rather drastic though!

OMG you are not joking

Well if you can loose weight doing that well good luck to you, and clearly depending on what you currently weight and how much you have to loose it may work - ie it wouldn't work for me, but if you are currently eating cake & chocolate all day then yes only having 3 x a day would be better.

As for the 4 pints of beer - thats 728 calories, more than half what the total calories I have each day. I agree total depravation sounds like a bad idea but cake more than once a day doesn't sound like a weight loss diet.

and 4 weeks isn't very long...

cake just once a day. i realise my sentence construction left that unclear.

part of why this works is i really love tea. Oranges i can take or leave. They may be sugary, but no fat, and the value ones i get are small and taste a bit watery anyway. Can't se me eating more than one a day tbh.

i am disappointed that they are from Morocco.

hav just been around Adas saying no to biscuits, crisps and friday nigh tmunch. i think i hav been eating a days worth of food easy on friday night.

right as a record - vital stats
34" bust 32" WAIST 43" HIPS.

that's pretty pear shaped and porky.

so you are going to eat only meal all day? i think you are mad, its totally unhealthy.

Perhaps someone could tie you to a kitchen chair?

It's only 4 weeks after all.

forget the dress just wear a raincoat to the wedding

I would have guessed LC only consumed whiskey and cigarettes.... pretty useful for losing weight, as I'm guessing you're still bfing, so can't down too much scotch!

i think LC has at times lived as a buddhist, and therefore a vegatarian diet without much in the way of sauce...

its one meal plus tea (milky and unlimited) and one orange. Not hugely healthy, but I don't claim it is.

the maintenance plan is for me to return to work which involves 3 hours of cycling a week, and indeed, being tied to a chair (though one at a screen, not in a kitchen)

I hve watched my mum eat one small meal a day for years...plus tea and fruit. She is not slim. the inevitablity of a slow metabolism and age.

to help me through the evening i am reading a book on Judaism too!

considers raincoat<

might get chucked out

I think eating one meal a day will be terrible for your metabolism... as you say your mum only ate one small meal a day and wasn't slim. Don't really understand why you'd do this to yourself.

If you want to read an interesting book on judiasm really recommend:

link

Its easy to read and written woman to woman.

is the idea that you get too depressed to eat? like the Thomas Hardy and requiem diet?

my metabolism is slow, and getting slower with age. inherited i believe, although of course i could be wrong.

the Thomas Hardy diet? nevr heard of that one -

i think you'd need to miss the irony in LC to get really depressed listening to him.

that look like a really good bok. i am on 'Essential Judaism' which is rather dry so far...

DHv has baked treacle & smartie cookies. saboteur.

This is the most hilarious thread ever.

If you have a slow metabolism 6 small meals a day of 200 calories each is the way to go.

That book looks v boring. I don't think being an orthodox jew is helpful to dieting though, too much eating esp, big festive meals every friday night and saturday lunch. I was ok last night as it was just us but had guests for lunch and ate some of the cake, as well as other fattening main course things. Plus lots of eating around festivals - chanukah - donuts, purim hamantachen (you'll have to look that one us), at least matzo (passover) is low fat and then cheesecake & cheese blinzes for shavuot.

the social aspects of eating mean a diet of constant little meals is hard to do. DH ususaly cooks, and getting him to downsize my portions is hard enough - not eating with him at all would be losing a pleasant part of the day.

I agree that traditions oten carry into the modern world badly - we have too much food and too little activity to do the feast and fast thing properly. Culture boosts the practice of Xmas gorging but not that of lenten restraint, leaving the average person gining 2lbs a year net every xmas....

'i ate and ate ..oh i did not miss a plate..' was my Xmas.

Do you find youself as an Orthoox Jew drawn into eating at both celebrations? I imagine if you live in the UK/ US it would be very hard not to.

those purim things look like 'tortisseaux' - cooked in France before Easter (though with butter instead of oil). very delicious.

I was pleased to stick at 4 pints with no extra food last night.

If its just us on friday night then I made something low fat. Traditional to eat chicken soup, roast chicken and roast potatoes, haven't bothered with potatoes since started diet.

Lunch we often have guests (with their kids) or go out for lunch at others houses, generally lots of food on table, so very hard.

Don't do christmas at all. Jewish festivals have too many meals.

Don't get what you say about hard for your DH downsizing your portions. If he cooks it just decide yourself how much to eat. I eat with DH but often eat different food, or eat the same but small protein, less carbs etc.

i hve more than enough things to nag Dh about, and hav told him to downsize my food. still a bit on the large side.

anyway week 1 complete
stats - 34" 30" 43"

i am if anything even more pear shaped!

ad I've been very good. I've only missed 2 walks (and none of the evening ones in the cold: a good 2.7 mile stomp according to Google Earth).

bugger. had an amaretto and a ginger wine (so two additional units.) in the course of the week (not mixed together)

i can see i am going to have to be a bit stricter and probably take the piss a bit less on the amount of milk i drink in tea. Probably a pint a day.

so: 1 cup of tea morning, 1 evening. 1 orange.

good things: my skin feels great, and DD is begining to like eating citrus due to my positive modelling. saving money too as we are getting through milk and biscuits slower.

Bad: orange is quite acidic and leaves teeth feeling like they are dissolving.

No you don't nag him. You either plate your own food OR you take 2 plates, you put some on the other plate for lunch the next day and leave some on your plate for dinner. You say, thanks DH for making me such lovely lunch for tomorrow!

Aside from this LC diet, the best way to loose thigh weight is Rosemary Coneley hip and thigh diet....