Self indulgent, feeling crap, somethings gotta give

[weighheyhey]

I am 8st over weight.
I want another baby. DC is 3.5. I am a size 24, apron belly, hugs boobs and I hate myself. FFS I used to be gorgeous, size 10, tall, used to do modelling type promo work. I have been getting steadily fatter since i was 25 and now I am 36. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I went shopping for a new outfit for christmas and yet again the only thing available on the high street in my size are glittery baggy tops and leggings. I want a dress. Just because I am fat doesn't mean I dont have shape.

I have no motivation, the more I think about my weight the more I eat. I am in total denial, I eat crap, cake, biscuits, choc, wine, chips. The meals I cook are wholesome but it's the stuff in between. I am always hungry I never feel full. Even after a huge meal I can sit there with friends or colleagues feeling blaoted and full and i am fine. I love food.

I dont feel I can control my eating at all. My mother is massively overweight and diagnosed with diabetes recently. This has scared me, but instead of motivating me I have just simply put another stone since I found out. I think I have a problem with eating. I find most exersize uncomfortable, my knees anad bad are bad. I know this is my weight.

Where do I go from here? I did slimming world once before and lost 3st but couldn't keep it up and am now 3 st heavier than I was when I started it, it was years ago.

Are you a sugar addict?
I recognise some of what you've said and my eating was out of control as I was eating waaaay too much sugar. I've managed to give up my reliance on sugar and feel so much better.

Its true that when you eat crap, you crave crap and it becomes a vicious circle.
You HAVE to start looking after yourself and nourishing your body.
Look at how you can change your eating habits. I did it by telling myself that I have to eat 3 portions of fruit and 3 portions of vegetables a day. When you start doing that, you have less room for the crap.

Come and join us on the 'Nothing tastes as good...' thread. I've had lots of support and advice there.

Hi weighheyhey.

I'm not going to pretend I know all the answers because I sometimes still struggle myself but I wanted to answer as you sounded so down in your post.

First of all, YOU have to WANT this change and decide that you are not going to let your weight and food addiction rule your life for one more minute.

Secondly, you have to take charge and become organised with regard to food shopping. Have a look at your diet, I'm sure that you probably know what is healthy-make a list of recipes and what you need for each of them. You could start with just five or six so at least you could have a different thing to eat every day for dinner. Try throwing a load of veg and a stock cube in a pot, whizzing it up and making soup for lunch. Porridge is my staple for breakfast as it fills me up for a few hours. Bacon and eggs or an omelette with a little bit of cheese is another option. Ditch the sugary cereals or bread for breakfast-you'll be hungry again really quickly. Drink 8 glasses of water every day.

For years, I have tried to lose weight with every diet going. I've done slimming world, weight watchers, low carb, cambridge, pineapples only. The thing that I have only just realised is that the only thing that works is eating healthily, cutting out the crap 90% of the time and exercising. If you think that sounds too hard, let me tell you, I constantly had my head in the fridge and cupboard. I was a total chocaholic and sugar addict and couldn't curb my cravings or my eating. I NEVER thought I would be able to give up cakes, chocolate, biscuits etc. and lose weight. If I can do it, anyone can.

I joined the thread that Shaxx mentioned before a couple of months ago and I'm nearly a stone down.

Cutting out the crap and sugar has changed my life. I used the feel so tired and lethargic (not to mention moody and irritable) but I now have loads of energy and my moods have gone-I feel on an even keel. You probably never feel full or satisfied as your blood sugar levels will be spiking and dipping and it's a vicious cycle.

A excellent book I can recommend is Anna Richardson's Body Blitz Diet. It's really easy to follow and has some lovely, filling, easy recipes. The basic principles are three filling meals a day and two snacks. (All full of good fats and the right kind of complex carbohydrates to keep you feeling satisfied). Another thing that has helped me is the Paul Mckenna book and CD. I haven't particularly followed the principles in the book but listening to the CD has helped me.

As far as the exercise goes, could you start by doing some walking first of all? Even just putting on some music and dancing around your living room for 20 mins a day-anything-as long as you get moving a bit more until you lose some weight and you could perhaps join a gym or try running. A lot of us on here do Jillian Micheals 30 day shred which I would recommend.

The hardest part of starting a diet is actually STARTING. Tell yourself you've made a decision to take control of your eating and your life. Get a piece of paper and write down a meal plan for the next couple of days and build on it. Always have slices of ham & chicken, carrot sticks, olives, low fat yoghurt, oat cakes, low fat houmous, nuts and fruit to hand and you'll have things to snack on instead of crap. I just don't have any rubbish in the house now. DH was moaning last night there was nothing sweet to eat but then he had a yoghurt and was fine. I'd rather him have a moan that have biscuits in the house that I may be tempted to binge on.

I know it's not easy, but to me now, this is a normal, natural way of eating even after a few weeks and I feel as if I have been set free from my prison of sugar addiction. Chocolate, sweets and cakes are something that I look now as an occasional treat.

I hope that you're still around and that you get a chance to read the two replies on here.