Self Sabotage - Does anyone else have this problem (and how the HELL can we get rid of it!)?

[RGPargy]

I really really want to lose about 6.5/7 stone but I keep sabotaging my eating habits. Why is this??

WARNING - WAFFLE ALERT!

Years ago i was with an abusive partner and put on loads of weight. I kicked him out and shed 7.5 stones, mainly through crash dieting (yes, i know that was a bad move!) and also through getting prescribed some (now banned) slimming tabs from the GP.

I was generally happy with my weight/appearance with the exception of the loose skin on certain areas of my body. I was very lucky to get a tummy tuck on the NHS too due to my age and all my excess skin.

So then i bimble along for a few years being slim and being hooked on going to the gym 5 times a week during my lunch break. Then i met this knob bloke who started to feed me up a bit by always insisting we got takeaways for dinner etc etc. I know i wasn't held down and force-fed pizza, but as a food addict, it's hard to say no! While i'm with this guy i start putting weight back on, mainly because it was a stressful relationship and also because he was so paranoid about me going to the gym during my unch break that i actually stopped going (yes, i can see you rolling your eyes from your computers as i type!!).

So anyway, I eventually kick this knob out too but am stuck with the excess weight and a very low self esteem (cheers for that!) which leads to more comfort eating etc etc. I meet a few more blokes along the way, more comfort eating ensues and now here i am back to where i started, plus more.

I did put back on 9 stone but have lost 1.5 stone over the past year but now i need to find out why i keep sabotaging my weight loss with food and wine that i know aren't good for me!

I am now in a very happy relationship, and my fella and i have a beautiful daughter together, own our own home etc etc.

So what am i worried about? Why wont i let myself lose weight?

Do i keep punishing myself for letting myself get this big again?? If so, why am i punishing myself by eating rubbish? Am i worried about getting the unwanted male attention that i got when i was slim and (somewhat) younger 15 years ago? Am i scared of what i have done to my body again after putting the weight back on? Am i scared of the loose skin I will probably have when i lose weight?

I so desperately want to be in "normal" sized clothes like i used to be (12/14). It's so frustrating when i'm at the gym and i cant do certain stretches because my fat is in the way lol.

I go to the gym 5 times a week and do 8 classes so it's deffo not a lack of exercise that is holding me back. In fact i cant get enough of the place!

So my big question is WHY am i doing this to myself?!!

If you have read this far, then well done and thank you for not nodding off!!

:o

Hi there

I've posted info about this before but I'm an (anonymous) member of something called Overeaters Anonymous. OA is based on AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and helps people understand and deal with their compulsive overeating. The first thing we do is accept that we have an illness that makes us eat compulsively and that it's something we can't control alone.

People I know have released five stone, ten stone and more, by being in OA. It works for a lot of people (me included).

Do PM me if you're interested. The website is www.oagb.org.uk.

Good luck!

Thanx for that, I will deffo look into it! :o

Ok, i know nothing of the 'sabotage' element, but i do know about a love of food and what that can do. I lost 4 stone using Food Focus. You can input all your food and your, quite frankly brilliant' exercise. If you are honest with it, I can pretty much guarantee you will lose what it says you will lose, and if you don't, then there is usually a reason (which you know) for not doing so. I used it for about 9 months (took me 12 to lose the 4 stone) and it kept me on the right track.

Good luck with your weightloss journey, but don't forget to enjoy your relationship too

Thanx for that Crispy. I have signed up and will endeavour to use it as from tomorrow. I'll keep you posted!

It is a bit fiddly to start with, and i suggest entering any 'regular' home cooked meals as 'menu's' and then it is pretty straightforward. Even if you don't use it to log everything then it is a good pointer as to calorie values and 'portions' (which i discovered were my downfall

Good luck

RG.....my story is pretty much identical!! except i dont go to the gym anymore,but come march i will be!!

i got addicted to exercise last time....could it be that your body is holding onto the fat because of the amount you do?

i want to lose 4 stone...and am determined to do so this time. been 4 years overweight now,and want it gone,mostly,by the summer!!

I Love - i tried to keep it to 4 lots of 30-45 mins exercise (which raises your heartbeat) per week as that is supposed to be sufficient

I can highly recommend Shredding for weightloss and toning if you need something you can do quickly and at home. I think i saw a thread where you can download it from t'internet free....

Thanx Crispy. It sounds a bit like the WW site.

ILoveTiffany - no i think my main problem isn't the amount of exercise i do, i think it's more likely to be portion sizes and food choices. I know exactly where i am going wrong but have trouble convincing myself to eat better!

Not sure i could do shredding - it would be not going to the gym and then i wouldn't see any of my friends!!