Please help, I'm desperate.

[mampam]

I've struggled with my weight for the last 10/11 years, ever since I had my first child.

My 3rd DC is 18 weeks old and I cannot shift the excess baby weight let alone anymore besides. I go to weight watchers and never really lose weight, a pound here or there sometimes.

I've had numerous blood tests to check my Thyroid which always seems to be fine. I could probably do with a bit more exercise but there is no way I could join a gym or go swimming.

Being fat is such a hinderance in life. There have been numerous jobs I've wanted to apply for but I just think they will take one look at me write me off because I'm so fat, so I never apply. I don't like going out and I really seriously wonder why my DH is with me when he could be with a really attractive woman who has a nice slim figure.

I don't want to be the fat friend anymore or wonder if I don't make friends very easily because I'm fat (although I know that's just a confidence issue).

I feel so vile and disgusting.

I don't really know why I'm writing this, not sure what I want people to say...........

You poor thing.

How much weight do you have to lose? What's your diet like?

Hi MP. Just thought I'd say hello. I'm sorry you feel so desperate.

I had counselling to help with binge eating. It really helped although I have to confess I still struggle most days. That's what it is though a struggle with you and you alone. You can make the choices or not... it's up to you.... I know that sounds harsh - it took me ages to realise that it was all down to me.

I was told I am really hard on myself and you sound like you are too. It's because we have such a bad relationship with food... I know I eat when I'm happy/sad/stressed/excited.... and sometimes when I am actually hungry.

If you really are at your wits end, then try going to your GP - mine offers counselling for free. It may just open up something that you perhaps hadn't thought through before or maybe just change the way your think about yourself/your body and food.

Really good luck. Be kind to yourself.

My diet is the really annoying thing, we eat healthily as a family. I haven't really had to change what I eat for Weight Watchers, but obviously watch the portion sizes.

I've got a lot of weight to lose. My 10% goal is 27lbs.

I find all of this so embarrassing.

Do you eat in between meals, MP?

Yes I snack on fruit.

I should say that I find breakfast and lunch really hard. I'm a fussy eater and most days don't feel satisfied after breakfast or lunch because I've either not eaten enough or eaten something I don't particularly like.

Mampam, your latest DC is very little still, please don't be too hard on yourself. I have really struggled the last 11 years since my eldest was born and have a very similar 10% goal with SW which I started in July.

My GP referred me to go free to either WW or SW for 12 weeks. Having tried both many times before but WW more times I opted for SW. They have a newer plan than the red/green which I have found works much better for me as you don't need to weigh things, can eat protein and carbs so it fits in very well with family meals and I am never hungry.

This might not be for you but there will be something out there that will be and for me the secret has been finding the plan that I feel I can stick to longterm as I have a long way to go yet and will always need to be careful do I don't pile the weight back on. WW's is changing in November and the new plan might suit you better but have a look around the other threads in this section, read what is working/has worked for others then maybe have a rethink about what to do. You are still recovering from giving birth so have a lot to contend with with a new baby and two others, you need something you can do which fits in with your life. It maybe WW is that but just needs a bit of a rethink or one of the other plans may be the answer for you.

mampam,

I think i know where you are coming from.

a few years back I felt extremely desperate to be 'me'. Both my children had gone to school full time , I was at home not working cut off from the 'real world' and I had absolutely no friends.

Looking back now i can't give you a valid reason as to why i did'nt go out and make friends..but i suppose it is the age old being fat having no confidence etc. Actually i did'nt care about myself and I would look in the mirror and ask why my husband was even with me..

so that day when i felt the urge to be 'me'. i went and joined the gym,, didn't lose much weight but i lost enough to get my confidence back!!!

I have since then got a job, although I am still big, I am working on it!! I have some good friends.

You have just had a baby, dnt be in a hurry to lose weight too fast.you can certainly do it just start slowly. My sis who had a baby last year was very depressed with her weight (plus her hormones being all over the place!),, she had put on 6 stones....her doctor was very sympathetic and helped her to lose the weight... well 3 stones..

If you are still feeling very sad please go and see your GP. But just take one day at a time.

x

But you don't have anything to be embarrassed about!
You are a person who is larger than she would like to be and is doing something about it.

The embarrassing thing is knowing you are larger than you would like to be but just ignoring that like someone I know.
I don't necessarily mean you should want to be a size 10 - but maybe you want to find it easier to get on the floor and play with the kids (and get up afterwards, that's what I struggle with). My ambition at the moment is not to see my belly protrude beyond my boobs when I stand up (and I have very large boobs). Small steps, some weeks very tiny steps.
One thing I have found helps is to walk dd to school and just carry on walking on the streets for a while. I've built it up to just over an hour now. Ordinary clothes, comfy trainers. No-one actually realises I'm exercising, they just think I'm walking to the shops - if it's their business.
I've recently also joined a ladies only gym that is only a 30 minute workout and I think they have branches nationwide. I just go in go through my routine and get out. Lots of pushchairs parked in view of the equipment (and lots of larger ladies).
These are things you might consider in the coming months but you have an important job on at the moment so don't rush things!

'I should say that I find breakfast and lunch really hard' mampam can you post some foods you do really like/find satisfying and maybe we could all brainstorm some good options/ideas you might not have thought of for you?

Hi I'm all over the place at the moment. I'd put on 3lbs last week at the WW weigh in and today I'd put on 2lbs after a really good week.

I spoke to my GP last week about why I don't lose weight very easily and she just thinks I'm one of those unlucky people who find it hard to shift.

What I don't understand is this, after I had my baby I was eating all sorts of rubbish, crisps, sweets, chocolate, ice-cream etc and was having very large portion sizes.

Since joining WW I don't eat the rubbish anymore and have cut down my portion sizes but I'm still putting on weight.......how does that work?????

Prinnie I'm a very fussy eater and don't enjoy a lot of meat so for example a 'ham' sandwich wouldn't be any good for me for lunch. I only like all the wrong kinds of cereals too ie crunchy nut cornflakes and you can't have a big bowl of those on WW!!!
I just tend to have a WW peanut bar for my breakfast.

Thanks everyone for replying xx

mampam Just wondering how many points you are on? Has your leader any suggestions - or has she offered to look through your tracker?

Could you bear to put up a list of you what you eat in a typical day, or is this something you'd not really feel up to?

You will get there, but there's obviously something that isn't quite clicking just yet.

Thanks Ishtar not had a good day today at all but will post what I eat tomorrow, may keep me on the straight and narrow! TBH I don't really have any incentive at the moment or motivation after putting on 5lbs in the last 2 weeks.

I originally was allowed a whopping 38 points! (I'm breast feeding) But as you can imagine I could eat pretty much what I liked so I had to say to the leader that I thought it was too many so she suggested I take it down to 34. I now only BF a couple of times a day so I have just reverted to the normal amount of points that I am allowed in a day which is 28.

Exercise makes a huge difference to my weight loss. I think you would see a big shift if you could find something you could do, say, three times a week.

Don't get disouraged about putting on 5lb in the last two weeks. The last time I weighed myself I was 5lb heavier than the week before, for absolutely no reason. I think we underestimate the natural fluctuations in our weight that are nothing to do with fat.

mampam hope you're having a better day today? I agree that the motivation isn't there when you're trying really hard and having slow (or no) weightloss.

I had some questions - hope you don't mind - but I wondered whether you are tracking absolutely everything? Are you weighing your portions? I am sure you are, but as I said before, there's something not quite clicking.

WW does work, it really does. I'm a gold member - it can be done...you just have to find the way it can work for you.

I hope you're OK

Hi. Have had a good day today so probably not a good example to show what I eat in a day!!

Breakfast: 2 WW's Ginger/Lemon Biscuits(with my cup of tea!!) (1 and 1/2 pts)

Lunch: Bowl of salad with Feta cheese crumbled on top (3 1/2 pts)
Apple (1/2 pt)
WW Yoghurt (1pt)

Afternoon snack: 1 carrot (no pts)

Dinner: Cottage pie (8 pts) with 2 tablespons of peas (1pt) and lots of broccoli and cabbage (0 pts)

Dessert: Rocket ice lolly (1/2 pt)

Drinks: Half a can of cider(haven't worked out how many points that is yet!!)

Like I said this is a particularly good day, I've been out/on the go all day so this has helped. I have to say that I usually have a packet of low fat crisps during the day too (1 1/2pts) but have run out so couldn't have any today.

Ishtar I haven't been writing everything down but I track by striking off the numbers at the side of the tracker as I go along or keeping a tally in my head.

Butterbur I'm quite active with having 3 children but I guess I'm stuck in a bit of a vicious circle where I have absolutely no confidence and want to lose some weight before I do some serious exercise. It's a shame because I love swimming. Plus I have to be careful about what I can do as I had severe SPD when I was pregnant and was on crutches. I just have to watch what I do with my pelvis!!!

Hi
Sounds like your day has been a bit better. Yes, I often use those numbers at the side and find them really useful when I'm in a hurry.

Looks to me like you're doing the right things, but I noticed you haven't used all your points yet. Have you any snacks planned for later on? Have you taken account of your milk/dairy allowance?

Oh, and while I think about it, I used to point cider at 3pts per can. Haven't had any for a while now...might just go and get some!

Pleased to hear that today was a better day.

I do weightwatchers and it is so important to accuratly point everything and write everything down that passes your lips!

It is really easy to underestimate what you've had.

And it really pisses you off when you don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Keep the tracker and a pen with you and write down every morsel(food and drink) that passes your lips. Weigh and measure.

If you write everything down, day in day out, then you can look and see what's going on. If you take in fewer calories than you consume, you will lose weight. If you are not losing weight and a doctor has ruled out a medical problem, then you don't have the in/out balance right.

I know it's a bind, but it has to be this way. After years of moaning about my weight but doing bog all and wanting someone to wave a magic wand and make me slim without me having to make any effort at all, and finally having a sleeve gastrectomy, I have finally realised that I have to put in the hard work if I want to see the results. And that means sacrifice.

At least until they invent calorie free cream cakes

take in fewer calories than you burn.

Somewhere in my pre-posting editing, I fucked right up.

I had my weigh in this morning and I've lost 3 and a half lbs. Don't think it's a totally true reflection though as I did have on jeans last week whereas I had on a pair of light weight trousers this morning.

Yes I know you have to work hard but the thing that I will never be able to get my head around is why it comes more easily to some people and harder to others. I have been going to WW's since July and have an official weight loss of 4lbs!! My mum started coming with me in August and has reached her 10% this week and has lost 18lbs. She never weighs anything or counts her milk allowance either!!

It seems to drop off some people but for me it really doesn't want to shift at all yet I so much as look at something fattening and I put on the weight. I guess I just can't get over the injustice of it!! My DH says that there's an ice age coming and my body knows something that others don't so is keeping hold of the fat!!

Ishtar no I didn't have any more points last night as we didn't actually have any food for me to eat!!! I haven't been shopping yet this week

Hey, that's fantastic news mampam !! Did you do anything different this week compared with others? Something's obviously worked...