Aughhh!!!! Weight loss Saboteurs

[SadMarg]

Just wanted to have a moan. I've just started the Atkins diet properly and am onto day 3, after playing around with it for meals for a few weeks, but still snacking on biscuits etc.

But why oh why do people have to try and sabotage??!!

I work part time from home, and have a part time nanny for my 2 DSs. Today, of all days, the nanny decides to start 'baking'. I mean, really??!! . She hasn't baked for about 2 months, finds it a lot of effort to prepare their meals.

Peanut butter biscuits this morning (while I was out, but came home to find them on the counter) and now she's making an apple crumble. I said 'I go on a diet for 2 days and you start baking? Really??' After repeatedly telling her what I could and couldn't have, she kept offering me a biscuit, well half a biscuit, try some of the apple, just a forkful.

After many, many 'nos' and 'you know I can'ts' I finally snapped and yelled 'STOP. This is so unfair of you. Do you have any idea just how difficult this is???!!! If you suddenly had to stop eating all fruit and wheat/rice things, do you think you would find it easy?????'

Now granted she is a size 6-8 and has difficult gaining weight, but really. This is just so flaming mean of her!!!!

At first she got resentful that I yelled at her in front of the DCs, that I should have just 'told her no'. Really? What have I been doing all day? What were all these comments that I had made to her? (and I repeated them back to her). I asked her how she thought I felt that I had to get to the point of yelling at her before she would actually listen to me and stop it.

After going all defensive on me I think she understands now, but seriously, if she tries to keep this baking malarky up I think I'm going to have to throw out all the baking ingredients in the cupboard!!!!

I think you need to take a step back and reassess the employer/employee boundaries. I can't believe you yelled. But good for you for stickgn to your gums. Fwiw, when I am in full eatign disorder mode, I can't stop baking, which winds people on diets up no end. I can't help it.

Well, all I yelled was 'NO [NAME]', after having said no about 6 times in a row in the space of less than a minute, and hardly at the top of my lungs.

[Having to yell to get through to her is a different issue. I have had a discussion with her about actually listening when I speak to her, and to stop talking over me and to let me finish - (working from home I am around a lot so she sees me often and we talk a lot). I'm a bit fed up with saying 'You like it when you have the chance to speak without interuption until you have finished what you have said. Please have the courtesy to do the same for me'. The only thing that works sometimes is if I raise my voice over hers which to me feels like yelling and I don't like doing it and get upset when it gets to the point and she knows it! Quite tellingly, she does this more when she knows she is in the wrong and goes into self defensive mode and doesn't want to hear what is about to be said.]

Dieting is all a about self control though
it's your issue not hers
I think it's lovely of her to bake for your kids and fruit crumble is very healthy for the children
just don't eat it I know easier said than done

mmmwine - isn't it just the way??!! Why do they do it? Somehow in their minds they think they are being kind and loving when they do this.... . (And you're being mean and ungrateful when you say no ).

bigchris - I think it's lovely that she made the cookies and the crumble too. I think it's a bit odd that she made them as soon as I started a diet when she hadn't baked anything for 2 months. But bar raise an eyebrow at it and make a comment on the timing re my diet didn't do or say anything else negative about them when I got home.

The constant offering, was annoying, especially as I didn't just say 'no', but explained why I couldn't have it (can't have any wheat products; can't have any fruit, after a few weeks I will be able to have some red berries but not too many' etc).

But to then try to persuade me to have some (while waving a forkful of cooked apples in my face) saying 'but I really want you to try some, surely a forkful isn't going to make any difference' is NOT lovely, no matter which way you look at it.

Sigh... at least she took one of the single serve crumbles home and the rest are now in the freezer, biscuits have been relegated to the DC's cupboard, but in a container that they need my help to open. (I may be silly sometimes, but I ain't stoopid!!! )

Perhaps she's a feeder

The best thing is to say "not just now thanks" and never tell people you are dieting.

Oh God, I would have strangled her. I can't stand people who keep offering when you've already said no

FUCK OFF

Yes, never tell people you are dieting. It's about you, not anyone else.

Although it's annoying for her to do this, you are holding her responsible for YOUR diet.

Did she know that you were on a diet before she decided to do some baking after two months of not doing so? The timing is rather suspicious.

Some people are just nasty about that sort of thing, because they like to see others fail. But maybe it's all tied up with her weight issues.

Given that she hasn't done any baking for the last two months, it shouldn't be a problem if she doesn't do any baking for as many months in the future as you determine.

Perhaps you should think about replacing her. No matter how good she is with your children, she doesn't sound very supportive or respectful towards you.

Actually, you do need to tell SOME people you are on a diet. Those who are in your house for most of the day, for example -especially if you share lunches, etc!!!

And how am I holding her responsible for MY diet????!!!! Sorry, but that's completely out of order. I didn't ask her to change what she ate, what the DC ate, or to keep things away from me, certainly didn't change what actual food was available in the house, and I only got upset with her when she actually waved some food in my face nagging me to try it because SHE had made it after saying 'no thank you' repeatedly for heaven's sakes!!! Dont' you DARE try to turn that around and make it look like I'm handing over responsibility for my diet to someone else! Actually, that sort of comment makes me angrier than she did on the day!!!!

Yes she did know, hugglymugly, she just gets ditsy and doesn't think. She wasn't being nasty, she was being thoughtless, and was focussing on herself. She does have food issues, but they are tied up with what we suspect is a food intolerance - hopefully just gluten intolerance and not proper coeliacs - she is undergoing testing for it. While the testing is going on she has to maintain a normal diet and not reduce her wheat intake and is feeling pretty awful at the moment. So while I got pretty snarky with her I'm not holding it against her as such IYKWIM!

I do sympathise, I remember once when I was doing Rosemary Connolly and dh and his parents arrived home from the pub with fish and chips. And then kept saying "Oh isn't it terrible of us to eat this in front of you when you're on a diet!"

But actually, this is why I do WW rather than low-fat or low-carb. Nothing is forbidden and you can have a bit of everything so long as you account for it. After doing RC I craved fat so much that I would eat mayo from the jar which I had NEVER done before doing her no-fat diets!

chipmonkey - Thank goodness my parents and inlaws are too far away to do that to me!!!!

I did do WW, but just couldn' kick the sugar cravings on it . Tried it for quite a few months, did lose weight and felt completely tied to the books and scales. I know some members say they can just by looking at their food after awhile but I just couldn't, and it drove me crazy trying to estimate points.

I think why it works for me is that I don't actually vary my diet so it's the same old points for the same old things!