Hi BMI and wanting a baby.....

[cowboylover]

Just wanted some advise/and if anyone is or was in the same position.

I am 19st and 5'5" been steadily loosing the weight caused by medication and general bad eating habbits through depression ect Even before I was at least 14st anyway but still a way off what I feel happy at.

Im slowly loosing weight but just doesnt feel quick enough and dont want to hold off any longer from trying to start our family so anyone else been there?

With the latest NICE guidelines ect im are the nurses/docs/midwifes ect going to give me a hard time? Am I even going to be a fit mother?

Thanks in anticipation

when you say 'fit mother', do you mean capable ?

Whilst it is advisable to be a healthy weight before commencing TTC, providing you are otherwise healthy aside from the extra lbs, it is not essential and is unlikely to affect your ability to mother a child effectively. The fact that you are even concerned enough to mention that, suggests to me that you give a rats arse and therefore are likely to be a good a parent as you can be.

HCP'S (midwives/Drs etc) won't give you a 'hard time' (not their job) but they will always advise you that being a healthy weight during a pregnancy and birth is preferable than being over or under weight. However, once you are pregnant, they are unlikely to keep crowing on about it and make you feel crap about yourself for being bigger (unless you get a mean one with a chip on their shoulder, of course).

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking ?

Have you spoken to your GP about your desire to have a family ?

Perhaps if you went to the GP and discussed your concerns "My DP and I are ready to start a family. I know it is healthier for me and the baby to lose some more weight first, but I feel like the weight is a bit slow to come off and we really are keen / running out of time (depending on your age)". S/he may well be able to suggest some tweaks to healthily increase your rate of weightloss.

Are you exercising as well as dieting ? I find it hard to lose weight if I just diet without exercising too.

firstly congratulations on your weight loss so far! I know how hard it is (have got a good 5 stone to shift myself).

I wouldn't have thought you will be given a hard time. You will however have it pointed out to you that you need to follow a healthy diet and not gain much weight during a pregnancy. You would also have to be under consultant care as your BMI is over 35 (44 by my calculations).......you would have extra scans and a glucose tolerance test. It's also worth noting that it can be hard to get accurate scan results in larger ladies........they may have to do a 12 week scan internally (by inserting a camera into your fanjo)and may struggle to do all the usual checks on your baby as your pregnancy progresses. Not to mention the extra stress put on your body/joints etc from the weight of a baby!

I had a BMI of 36 at my booking appt with DD2, and tbh I wouldn't get pregnant at that weight again. I managed to avoid consultant led care thanks to my supportive MW and my blood sugar remained stable throughout, but my blood pressure went up in the few days before I gave birth. Whether or not this was weight related, I don't know. Looking back now, I do feel as if I should have made the effort to shed a stone or 2 and improve my fitness levels before TTC.

That being said though, whilst being significantly overweight does increase your chances of developing high blood pressure or gestational diabetes (and also the risk that you might need a c-setion incidentally), it is not a given that you would have any complications........

I guess what I'm saying is that it is entirely up to you when you choose to have a baby. In your situation though I would try to drop a few BMI points first.

Yes I suppose I worry that am I just going to make my child ill or be a bad example?
I do care so much and want so much to be a good parent.

Think its fear of the unknown as well as im sure any other ditherer is!

Im 25 so I know I have got plenty of time but just feels like a good time for us.

I go swimming a few times a week and really enjoy it so I hope that is helping shead that extra weight.

Think the GP might be a good idea as been so supportive with other things so understands me and might be a good place to start.

Thanks x

Your posts show that you care about it.

Whilst I don't think you would be setting a bad example or make your child ill or whatever (providing you now follow a healthy eating plan etc) by getting pregnant now. I do think if I were in your shoes at 25 or if I were your HCP I would be trying to hold off TTC for another 12 months or so, just buying myself some more time to drop another couple of stones or so, get that BMI down. Use the future family as a motivation.

Perhaps set yourself a goal weight and say you'll begin TTC at that weight ? Maybe 16st ?

Are you using Weight Watchers or similar ? I have used them in the past when I have had some weight to lose (admittedly not as much as you have) but I found the plan very easy to stick to and very sucessful with fast, lasting results. Plus, if you are struggling for motivation, the meetings can be a good kick up the proverbial without feeling like you are being bullied! I know other people who have had lots of sucess with Slimming World (I found it very confusing!).

I know the "wait a little longer, lose a little more" is probably not what you wanted to hear, but honestly, I think it's what I would do/advise. You sound like you have your head screwed on and will be the sort of mum you want to be when you decide the time is right.

Ultimately, only you and your DP can make that decision and being thinner won't change your personality or emotional ability to parent, but it is more likely to enable you have a healthier pregnancy and birth and perhaps find life as a new mum that little bit less exhausting !

Thanks Nom, your time to reply is appreciated x