Recipe for wedding boredom or could be chilled fun?

[Loudandclear]

Looking to book a very chill wedding next summer with about 80 guests.
Ceremony would be 12 noon in town hall then a ten minute walk to a bar with outdoor garden - buffet style/maybe pizza something like that, no table plans, no formal photos or long speeches.
Would put out some garden games, one or two bands.
The outdoor area is nice, not massive but enough room for everyone outside if the weather is nice. Inside would maybe feel a bit small perhaps for all guests to be seated inside for the entire thing.
But between 1ish at the reception and midnight do we risk it being very boring? We are kind of relying on groups of our friends just having a good old catch up as in reality each group of friends only meet perhaps once a year and we could sit at a pub for hours catching up when that happens!
Just really not fancying anything super formal, and the only other ceremonies are much later and we have young kids to think of and don't want it to be dark before we know it!

That seems a long day and not much fun if it rains and you are squished inside. Are you just providing one meal? How many children?

That sounds very lovely as an event. I’m quite old so I expect guests to do their best to make the party enjoyable for everyone by talking, mingling, participating - my experience of younger guests is that they vary in their attitude to that. And I dont like separate evening dos. So I think it sounds lovely for that.

I have to be honest and say that I personally would find this a long event, which is why we’re doing a 2pm ceremony+garden party =done by 6 timeline. In a more formal wedding there’s always some event or other coming up, however ridiculous. It looks as if you do plan to have speeches which is great. Maybe there could be a little bit of structure about the bands? Are you using them to change the vibe over the time of the event?

I wouldn't want to rely on a venue that would feel cramped if all my guests were inside. It also sounds like a very long time to expect people to sit and chat, especially without a formal situation down taking up part of it. I would perhaps look into a later ceremony so the evening part isn't such a long stretch.

Does the ceremony have to start so early? That’s a long, long time for mingling…

It's a long time with no formal meal or speeches. Depends on the vibe and whether you have kids present too. You could end up with a load of pissed adults going home at 10.

10 hours with just one meal = hangry guests who will leave to find food

Wedding pomp is there for a reason. It provides people with a nice mental template about what is happening. I think the invites will need to be very clear about what is happening otherwise most people will spend the day in hushed confusion about when the photos are going to happen etc.

Personally I would attend the ceremony, grab a slice of pizza and leave if you're expecting me to sit until midnight with no structured activities. In your shoes id move the wedding to 6pm and let people have their Saturday back.

Need a wet weather plan and what are you doing about food? Pizza for lunch then what? A 12 start means you need to cater lunch and dinner.

I think expecting people to sit and drink from 1 ish til midnight is a bit long. If you meet at 12 I'd plan a shorter event but say you'll be staying in the pub all night . What's the plan with food and bands? Suggestion below.

12-1 reception
1 -2 walking to and getting everyone settled at pub
2pm pizza (people will be starving by then but this is the problem with a 12 start)
3pm speeches
330pm/4pm band 1
5pm band 2
6pm finish but hang around in pub for anyone who wants to stay.
Need food option number 2 for the evening crowd. Could the pizza place do a buffet or let you outside cater a buffet?

Midday is an early start and if there's no formal photos, sit down and speeches to break things up then yes, it could seem like a very long day. If it's summer then could you have a later slot at the Town Hall? Already in May it's not getting dark until late. Of course, even in July/August there are no guarantees of perfect weather, so you could have a very cramped situation if you're all stuck indoors. You'll need to provide two meals if you're going on until midnight.

I think small groups of friends at the pub has a very different dynamic to 80 people coming for a wedding. The length of day is usually offset by having different things to move though - formal meal, speeches, cake cutting, first dance. As traditional as that may be it does fill the time before the party properly starts.

Im not saying you should tick more of the formal boxes, but think about how you’d be if you went to a wedding and were left sitting about in a cramped room and little entertainment.

That sounds long and boring to me. There’s only so long I could do catching up for and you do have to plan for the worst when it comes to the weather. I’d be a bit annoyed if I shelled out for a new outfit, travel, a nice gift, maybe a hotel, and your only plan for guests is mingling and having pizza in a venue that’s too small to hold everyone. If you can’t afford to host all your guests and give them a day they’ll enjoy then reduce the guest list.

No, you need more "stuff" to fill the day or a later start. Could you do a 4pm ceremony?

A venue which is cramped if everyone is indoors is not great - can you cut the guest list?

I’d be leaving by 4/5 pm. But that’s just me

What is your plan if it rains? Alternatively if there is a heatwave and more people want to stay inside?

What food are you providing in the evening?

What kind of band music are you thinking? Is there at least going to be any dancing?

Surely there will be some people attending who don’t know many other people? So maybe they don’t want to chat to strangers for that long?

Don’t forget people spend money to attend weddings - new outfits, wedding gift, maybe hotel and taxis, so it’s important to look after your guests. Hanging around chatting for 12 hours is nuts.

We did similar but started later so it wasn’t such a long day. From memory the wedding was at 4 and we’d transported people to it, vintage transport if they wanted to. Got married in a castle so people could have a mooch round or a drink first. So food was about 6-ish with some canapés and fizz first. Then a disco later on and a coach to take people home at midnight.

it was very chilled.

your plan sounds a long day.

also, I get the no seating plan, we did the same, but the feedback I got that people were a bit stressed saving seats for people they wanted to sit next to (or avoiding people) and it left a few strangely set up tables ….which didn’t quite work. So I wish I’d at least put obvious groups of people together even if not individual names. Bit more work but would have been worth it.

I don't think it's just you and I think 4 would be late. I'd be going at 1 or 2.

Don't assume people want to catch up. Sat in a room with people making small talk is hellish. There's probably a reason I haven't spoken to them for ages.

That’s far too long without a schedule of events. I’d move your ceremony to 5pm, then only have to provide 1 meal. I find chatting pretty hard work so I’d be leaving late afternoon!

I'd find that way too long personally.
We had our wedding at noon, and it was done and dusted by 6pm so almost no one needed an overnight hotel.

We went to a wedding like this. Didn’t know anyone apart from the bride and groom, who were busy mingling, so we had no-one to catch up with! There was a different venue in the evening where a limited buffet was on offer, but from the ceremony at 12.30 until 7 people were meant to stand around chatting with canapés and drinks (weren’t enough chairs for everyone). We went back to the hotel where we were staying after about 2 hours until the evening bit.

Sorry, it sounds far too long to me. I can’t think of anything worse than being stuck with the same crowd in a pub all afternoon and evening.

Thanks for the feedback - it's not going to work is it.
We can have the ceremony at 4 (the only options are 12 or 4). It just risks our kids being knackered and therefore them being a bit of a nightmare that effects my enjoyment really.
The town hall is so nice and has meaning to us so that's why we wanted it, but this is the only real place walkable from there with any outdoor space. Everywhere else we'd have to bus/taxi people a good half hour away. The town centre has tons of accomodation.
With midday, we would do two lots of food, two bands I think if the weather was nice we could maybe get away with it, but the risk of bad weather and being stuck indoors in a venue that I wouldn't have chosen for it's indoor space except for the party side is a big risk.
About 10-15 kids age 2-8.
Most guests will be 30somethings that are in groups of around 8 they know, but there will be family guests with minimal acquaintances there is so it could prove pretty boring for them.
Thanks for the food for thought. Back to the drawing board.

We had a 4.30pm wedding and it was the perfect length of time for me (can’t speak for the guests!)

If you wanted the 12 appointment rather than the 4pm appointment what time were you expecting it to end?
Because I think your kids will get tired any which way. You just need more help with them.

could make it just a daytime event- ceremony at 12 then lunch and chatting, afternoon tea and then people leave. You can provide a list of local pubs and restaurants for people who’d like to carry on.

It's 4k just to have the reception venue and it can only be hired for the full day so I feel like ending it after tea would be a bit of a waste (and still risk being indoors at a place that I'm getting mainly choosing for the outdoor space!) so perhaps we need a complete re-think about what we are after.

4k? Not bad. Im
spending 6k just to have a marquee up at home…(admittedly I’ve gone for an extremely fancy marquee with every bell and whistle possible. Including chandeliers. I think weddings make everyone a bit mad, or is that just me).