Letters to the Bride?

[Anonymous2585]

I'm attending a hen do next month of a friend. I've known the bride for years, we're not very close, see her every so often and have known them as a couple since they got together years ago.

One of the hens has asked each one to write a letter to put in a Letters to the bride book. I am not on the fence. I will not be doing this, I find it hard to communicate my emotions at the best of times with those close to me and I find this quite cringe.

Anything i do write will be in a card for the couple not just the bride.

My question is do I let them know? Or just ignore the message in the WhatsApp group? I don't want to put down their idea, cause a fallout or draw attention to it. So I was thinking just ignoring it might be the best option. But I can't be the only one who feels like this? Age group is 30/40+ (I think) it's not even like their excited young hens.

Just look in the book for the best letter and add your name at the bottom. Job done.

I feel similarly about this type of thing. Previously what I’ve done is print out an old photo of us together and just written something brief about how I wanted to share this happy memory of us. Fills a page and looks thoughtful without having to write much

I would just write a short note about a time you had loads of fun together, especially if you think the bride would appreciate it.

I found a poem off the internet and wrote that out to put in the book 😅

I agree it’s not my kind of thing either, but this is a really nice idea.

You will be talked about if you don't do it. Search for something simple, write that and forget about it.

Total cringe, I was asked to do this for a friends 40th. I gave myself permission to not bother. 🤣 Turning up, giving money towards a big gift, paying for an extortionate weekend break and activities was enough for me.

Just write :-

“Dear xxxxxx, Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding. I wish you a lifetime of happiness, health and good shags”.

Write what PP said

🌷🌷🌷Turning up, giving money towards a big gift, paying for an extortionate weekend break and activities is enough for me.🌷🌷🌷
have an amazing day, etc.

Only mention it if someone messages you about it, then you can say no thank you.

Just ask Chatgpt to write a heartfelt letter of advice to a bride. Sorted.

I was asked to do this for my friend's hen do.
I didn't.
I didn't say anything to anyone, but I know plenty of others felt very uncomfortable and didn't do it either.
Nothing was said as far as I am aware.
I still am friends with both the bride and the person who sent the message.
It was just never spoken about.

I don't like performative sentimentalism. So I would politely say "No thank you". But I would say it and be very comfortable explaining the reason for my decision if questioned.

Wow. She’s getting married not solving hunger or homelessness. I would just ignore it and give a card with money.

It's a lovely idea - really special for the bride

I just did this for my niece and thought it was a lovely thing to do. A photo of the two of you and a short message? Seems odd to be close enough to be going to the hen do but not to even make an attempt at this.

This sounds absolutely naff, I am cringing at the thought of it. Especially if it’s not a close friend.

"That's a lovely idea. Writing stuff isn't my strong point and I'll just stress over it so I won't do a letter but I'm sure she'll love it x"

This is what I would do!

Also to me this seems more like a funeral thing than a hen thing.

Just ignore

I'm sure it was lovely for you and her, but it's just not my thing.

Also there are several "hen dos". Bridesmaids and close family are doing afternoon tea/night away. This one is just a night out for all of the above and everyone else.

I was gifted a book similar to this at my hen recently. Everyone wrote something completely different, some wrote long deep emotional messages, some were literally 2 lines long. I appreciated every single one of them! I think even a short "best of luck, enjoy the hen" is better than no message at all!

Just say ‘I have nice memories of that time we xxxx. [brief anecdote]’. Very best wishes always, Me xxx’ ? I mean, you’re not close, she won’t be expecting some kind of heartfelt poem pledging undying friendship.