What is a low-fuss way to get married?

[CIng]

My partner and I want to get married but probably without a big (or even small) wedding. What is the simplest way to do that and what is required? Has anyone done that and then regretted not having a wedding? Thoughts welcome :)

If you're in the UK you can have a statutory marriage ceremony which is held in a register office. Its for the couples plus two witnesses only. Witnesses can be anyone.

The cost for this service is set by the government and the fee is £56

Its the easiest and cheapest way to marry in the UK. Takes roughly 15 minutes.

I'm a registrar here in the UK so any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

You can just do it at your local registrar, you need 2 witnesses on the day and I think you need to give at least 1 month notice (so they can check you aren't already married!)

Ours cost £60 for marriage licence and £116 for registrar and venue, that was 3 years ago ☺️

We did a very low key day and have no regrets (except me forgetting to redo my hair after removing my veil 😅)

I got married in a registry office with 7 family members attending. We then went for dinner. I never once regretted not having a "big day" , it would not have been my scene at all.

We had a civil partnership. Super cheap, super quick. Remember that a marriage is basically just admin. If you wouldn't spend £££ to open a joint bank account (party, dress, cake?!), then you needn't to sign the marriage certificate.

Thanks so much all. @Rhubarbx1How cool that you are a registrar! It seems that notice is required - is that the only “formality” other than finding witnesses? Are there criteria for who can be a witness?

@K138@CharlotteSometimeslikesanafternoonnapSo nice to hear. Others keep suggesting to me that surely I’d want a big wedding / party but I’m just not sure that I do.

Another option is to elope and get married abroad. The advantage of this is that you get a honeymoon thrown in!

We had a civil partnership. Just grabbed two tourists off the street for our witnesses.

I had no interest in having a big day and just wanted the legal side sorted out

You do have to give notice, but to give notice you need to know exactly where you're getting married as your notice is venue specific.

Notice of marriage is £42 per person if both UK nationals or you have settled status. Its £57 if you require home office referal. So the cost really depends on your immigration status.

A straight forward notice means you can give notice and get married 29 days later. With a more complex notice where the home office are involved they have the powers to extend your waiting period to 70 days.

Witnesses really can be anyone, you dont have to know them personally. If you travel somewhere to get married, and stay at a hotel, the hotel staff are normally very obliging.

For what its worth, I had a tiny a wedding, just immediate family and I absolutely loved it. It was perfect for us.

As a registrar, the small ceremonies are my favourite. You find these are the couples that want the marriage not the wedding and they are really lovely, much more meaningful than the big ott ceremonies.

We had this ceremony . When I called they gave us dates they had available and times ( where I live they are the less desirable ones ) think ours was 10am or 10.30 , we had two friends as witnesses and took them out for a meal in the evening .
That was it . Totally no fuss we didn't even buy ourselves new clothes as it was just a cross the t's and dot the i exercise .

@CIng we got married in jeans at a registry office with 4 friends and then went on a pub crawl. Posted that we’d got married on FB a few days later.

We got married at Gretna Green (tbf it isn't far from us 😅) it was perfect, different and also didn't break the bank. Small reception at home after

Yeah, you'll find the time and dates limited. They normally only offer these types of ceremonies week day mornings.

Your day sounds perfect. This is what getting married is all about. Not the dress, the cake or the matching socks and ties 😬 its the actual marriage that counts. The rest is fluff!

@Rhubarbx1
I really want our little dog at the ceremony. We dont have children so he's our family. However, I know lots of council buildings, in fact just about all,dont allow pets in.
Is there any way round this? I wonder if any registry offices have an external entrance or outside space to allow for this as I'm sure it's a frequent ask.

We did the £56 special, they only offered it on Wednesday mornings 😂 2 witnesses and set up a WhatsApp group to say we’d be in the pub from 12 if anyone wanted to join! Had about 30 people pop in across the day, sat in the beer garden all day!

£56 'special' ...I love it.

We looked into this, however our local registry office is very busy and they could only do short notice marriages and they’re in a small room with a perspex screen. We opted for the next level up, where we can guarantee a date and have time to inform witnesses who have to travel etc. We are also having something very small and are only really doing it for reasons of financial security for each partner, we have been together for 26 years and have a child.

Yes you need to give notice, you both need to go to the office to do the paperwork a month ahead (this is to protect people against forced marriage etc) but aside from that you just bring two witnesses or ask here for people! A step up you can have a bigger room at the registry office for more guests and book a restaurant for lunch afterwards perhaps (tell people no gifts but they pay their own way if money is tight maybe). I work for a church and we’ve done small weddings for people with just witnesses and a bit of recorded music, more expensive but there’s no cap on numbers and people can rent the hall for £50 and serve cake and prosecco for a mini reception without a lot of cost

Our register office in London told us quite firmly that we needed to bring our own witnesses as they had a policy of not lending admin staff as it was happening too often. So check that with yours. I think the criteria are over 16, capable of understanding what’s going on and able to speak English.

We did our notice to marry business and told our local register office to let us know about any cancellations, even very last-minute. They phoned the day before with a free 11 am Tuesday slot, so we phoned our two witnesses (one a resting actor, the other on gardening leave), had a 10- minute ceremony and then went for a glorious lunch with our witnesses. It was some tiny amount of money, apart from the lunch, which involved very good champagne.

DH and I went to our local registrars to say we wanted to get married in my hometown and fill out simple paperwork. Can’t remember whether we then needed to pop into the corresponding office in the marriage venue (it was over 20 yrs ago!) but on the day, it was at the town hall with just a registrar, us two, my mum and dad, and our respective siblings and partners. My DBro took a few pics. Mum bought us lovely buttonholes and a tiny spray of flowers for me.
Afterwards we all went back to mum and dad’s and had a late lunch of a whole poached salmon prepared beforehand by me, salads etc, and a special cake also made by me. And pink champagne!

It was incredibly low-key but actually lovely.

The ONLY way you could get round this is if your moral compass is slightly off centre and you claimed your little dog was an emotional support dog 🙈

You aren't allowed pets inside of council buildings but if they are anxiety companions or working dogs for the blind etc then the council has to let them in.

It's a big lie to tell... but people can and do do it. X

Thank you.
Well he did help me through the bleakness at an awful time in my life so there's a lot of truth there!

Anxiety companions are considered more than helping you through a bleak patch though. Really its a pooch you can't leave the house without due to poor mental health.

Its a bold claim if it isn't true. X

Yes, sorry, I realise that. I was trying to move my moral compass by a few degrees 🤣