Elopement wedding with two small children

[Whatthefork1]

Has anyone eloped with two children and no other guests?

Me and my partner have been engaged for nearly 4 years now.

We haven’t had chance to focus on wedding plans but have finally come to the conclusion due to awkward family member's and not wanting to spend a fortune on a wedding just for everyone else, that we want to elope!

We are thinking next summer so our children will be nearly 6 & 3.

I am just concerned about the logistics of it. I wanted to have my mum and step dad and my partners dad and step mum there and I thought they could then help to take care of the children. However this causes issues with my partners mum who is not well and doesn’t even leave the house anymore and is basically the most awkward person on the planet, long back story there but she is a terrible person! Partner says it is still his mum.

We are finding it hard to choose any friends to come along because it feels like your choosing a couple over others and it doesn’t feel fair.

So the only easy option to “not offend anyone” is to go it alone, just the 4 of us. But I worry about the logistics of it. How am I going to get ready? What if the children end up causing chaos in the ceremony. We won’t get any alone time at all.

Going without the children is not an option. I absolutely want them both there and our eldest is very excited about a wedding

Does anyone have any advice??

You’ve chosen not to have your support system there so just accept you won’t have privacy or time to yourself.

There isn’t some magic way through that.

I'm sure it will be fine, if not a bit chaotic! You manage to get dressed in normal circumstances so you will be able to do so for the wedding, you'll just have to tag team .

Why not just get married at local registry office ?

Timetable your day. Can then men in the group take the kids to a playground for an hour while the women get ready? Keep fancy clothes /hair /makeup to a minimum — natural and simple is good.
Then everyone meets for the wedding and have the meal straight after.

you could also hire a babysitter or nanny for the day to entertain the children. Kids could still join in but the nanny would sort toys and snacks and toilet breaks so you don’t get interrupted.

What about witnesses? We eloped but without out children. We had a photographer and she brought someone with her to be our witnesses. The ceremony is only a few minutes long so children won't have to sit for long.

Men? There is the two getting married and their children.

could you hire a childminder for the day? You have time to get to know someone.

clearly didn’t read the rest of your post - but yes to a nanny or similar.

You could go on holiday and get married while away (obviously would need to be pre booked) you would need two (adult ) witnesses usually but you could ask the registrar for help with that. But yes you would have the kids the whole time (unless you hire a nanny)

I did that with couple of teens and the ex. Worst decision ever. Everything became about the kids. I heard when he married again it was very different.

Choose somewhere with a kids club and book your children in there for after the ceremony. At that age, surely they can behave in the ceremony? They will get the idea of it being special and understand what’s happening. Their dad can take them to a play area while you get ready. Easy enough to find solutions.

It's not really an elopement is it?

You can't have it both ways.

Oh my goodness, you've written the story of our wedding!! It's crazy how similar it is. We are eloping in August and will be getting married during our holiday with our DCs 6&3. We will have a photographer and are hiring a babysitter, both will also be our witnesses. We regularly holiday where we're getting married and will be going at Easter so have arranged to meet with both, then they won't be strangers on our wedding day and we can make sure the babysitter is compatible. Im arranging to have my hair and make up done at a local salon so I can have that time without being hounded so won't have much getting ready to do when around the kids. You are brave trusting your eldest if you're keeping the elopement a secret, my 6 year old would have told anyone who would listen by now 😅 congratulations and good luck with it all.