Been tasked with arranging a hen do. Any tips?

[havasack]

So I’m MOH for my friend later in the year. (Friend of only a couple of years) We’ve discussed hen arrangements and were thinking a weekend in a rented house nearby is the best plan. Most of us have kids and smallish budgets. She’s sent me the number of those she wants to invite (12 in total but doubts some will make it) so I was thinking of setting up a WhatsApp group to see if people want to come, and their availability etc. You may be able to tell I have never done this before and have no clue where to start. Please give me some tips and ideas to keep people happy. What do I say in the group message? What do I suggest in terms of food, drink, decorations, entertainment? Speak to me like I’m an alien please

The main thing to be aware of is that people will drop out. If you book accommodation that is a set amount per rented house, not per person, and then say two drop out, the remaining people will have to then pay more to make up the difference. This can lead to resentment and/or more people potentially dropping out because they can’t afford the increase.
If your name is on the booking then ultimately you’re the one responsible for finding the money.

I would agree the date with the bride, and anyone else who is a must attend (other bridesmaids/dusters etc) and then give the group the option of its x date, x location and price will be no more than £x amount.

Don’t try and find a date that works for everyone you’re inviting, it gets too complicated. Treat it like a party you’re inviting people to.

If you’re booking a house then make sure people know deposits are non refundable and check what the cancellation fee/date would be in case people drop out.

Try not to keep adding on loads of expensive unnecessary extras once people have agreed, nobody needs special outfits or expensive tat that’ll end up in landfill :)

If you’re in a house arrange a shopping delivery for food & tell people to bring their own drinks, include this cost in what it’ll cost people to attend, or arrange a takeaway delivery for ease.

So I’d say if you are going with renting a whole house that has a set cost, to avoid the price going up for others if someone drops out, work out what it will cost and ask for the money up front before you book. If anyone drops out after they’ve paid they don’t get their money back. Be clear what is covered, what’s not.

Those voting graphs are good give a couple of choices to vote on . Id say just make it one night dont know if others agree 2 nights can get difficult to arrange for young mums etc . We learned a dance on one which was good fun . And a pre recorded Mr and Mrs was good . So hubby to be had pre recorded his answers and free !, . Karaoke was also fun and cheap ! If people are likely to drop out a country hotel might work out easier for you because numbers will be more flexible? Just a thought .

The drop out can be managed if you find some places, figure out the average cost of those places + any activities and provide the expected cost per person up front. Then give them a bit of time to commit to the date and cost and do a payment plan starting with first payment that will cover at least the deposit of the house and ideally the majority. People will be way less likely to drop out once they’ve financially committed. Don’t book until then, unless you can cancel for free.

For activities etc, it depends what she is into and they can soon add up - can be ££, so depends on the budget. I’ve been to a few where we’ve done escape room, or dance lesson, candle making, cocktail making, chef to the house.
if you’re doing two nights maybe do one a bit more low key indoors, could even get everyone to contribute to bringing food and drink or contribute money. Hope that helps :)

This!! And I learned this the hard way the first time so the second time, I took a non-refundable deposit from everyone who said they would go for all accommodation and activities. I explicitly said this at the beginning! So let’s say the accommodation was 600 between us and there was 6 of us. I took a 50 deposit and put it in a vault. That way if someone dropped out we only had to spread the other 50. There was one dropout and she argued and argued about it but I wasn’t changing my mind. I know it sounds tough but the first time two people dropped out pretty much last minute which then put pressure on some of the others as they were pretty broke too!

Avoid the rented house scenario - it’ll be a nightmare for you. Go out for one night in a city, choose a hotel where a core group will be staying, and allow people to book their own accommodation - either at the hotel, or somewhere else if they prefer.

In my experience, the more you open things up for opinion and choice, the harder you are making your life.

Start the group chat with key decisions already made by the key people. That way, people are just deciding if they can/want to participate.

Initial email:

Hi All,

Welcome to "Staceys" Hen Do Group Chat!
On 1st June 2026, we plan to rent an 8-bedroom house for the weekend in [location].
The price per person will depend on how many are able to come. An estimate is [£ per person] if 12 of us attend. There will also be additional costs of [£p.p.p] for food and drink. We'd love you all to join "Stacey" for this special weekend. Please let us know if you would like to join - insert poll on whatsapp chat -
~ you might want to add details about bedroom allocation, because that would 100% be a factor in whether I decided to go or not. I'd be pissed if I paid my deposit and then found out I'm on a blow-up bed in the kitchen! ~

Follow up-email:
Hi guys, We've had 10 people confirm they'd like to join us! That would make the cost £x per person, and £x additional per person for food & drink. If that's agreeable to you and you'd like us to proceed with making the booking, please send a non-refundable deposit to me via bank transfer by [date]. Final balance will be due by [date]. Would people prefer to make small monthly payments toward this, or a larger one-off payment nearer the time?

If your availability has changed and you can no longer come along, please let me know.

I wouldn't book anything or be on the hook for the finances until I had deposits in my account, with a deadline for final payment made clear.
If there are travel costs associated with getting there, it might also be worth making that clear upfront too. Basically, be transparent with people.

I’d have some early conversations about what a ‘smallish’ budget really looks like. In my world a smallish budget would have been about £30 for the entire event, ie basically I’d be happy with a pub crawl with everyone buying their own drinks, with the choice to stick to soft drinks if you’re broke, or a nice evening at someone’s place with everyone cooking together and then doing YouTube karaoke. Beware people who haven’t booked a cottage since before Covid because prices have doubled.

If you have a city close by where people can choose to come for the day or stay over that is preferable for many, just find a hotel like a premiere inn for those who want to stay over and everyone books and pays for their own room (or teams up with one other and make own arrangements) sharing a room isn’t something many of us want to do nor commit to more than 1 night away

I wouldn't go to a weekend away hen night for many reasons including cost, losing a whole weekend, childcare, being exhausted at the beginning of the next week and not knowing chunk of people.

My Moh arranged a day where people could come to all or some of the bits planned : hanging out in our old pub, tarot reading, dinner, ice skating then cocktails. It was brilliant and meant no-one felt under pressure to spend more than they felt comfortable.

Sorry to crash, OP, but I have also been tasked with organising and hosting a Hen. We are all late 40s and have are having a 'camp/glamp out' on a private paddock in a well served village (pub, takeaway, shop etc.). We are going with a tongue in cheek WI theme for activities and a disco tent for the evening (we are all early 90s former clubbers).
Any tips for number of activities/sources for tent decor/ timings etc. gratefully received!