Aibu

[TheHazelDog]

I'm the only sibling of the bride. I have been told I am not a bridesmaid but am in the wedding party. This involves me walking down the aisle with my mum, giving the only reading, and signing the wedding register. I have been asked to wear a coordinating colour to the bridesmaids, but need to pay for my own dress, hair & makeup.
There are 3 bridesmaids, all her friends.
She is having my parents and her bridesmaids get ready with her on the day of the wedding. I'm not invited. I have been told to meet her outside the church.
I asked to go dress shopping with her just once and again was told no, there's not space for me.
I am so offended by the whole situation but she thinks I'm overreacting, and says that it is clear how important I am to her.
This wedding is a long way from home, and will be expensive to attend, especially as I feel I will spend the day miserable. I am considering not going.
So am I being unreasonable to be upset I'm not a bridesmaid? I'd really appreciate the views of some strangers, thank you in advance.

I wouldn't mind so much about the 'bridesmaid' bit. But would be upset at the not getting ready together. Assuming there have been no fallouts for other reasons.

Sounds like you have a couple of important roles. I had two bridesmaids, neither of which were my only sister. She was my witness instead.
Bit weird both your parents are getting ready with her. Do you have a partner or young kids? If so that makes more sense that she's expecting you to get ready with them.

What are you hoping to gain from this thread that your other one didn't answer ?

Have a long hard think about how you will feel right after, in a year, in 5 years, in 10 years, about not attending your sibling's wedding.

If you feel that as a member of the wedding party you should be more involved in the getting ready, how about just not being a part of the party and attending as a guest? (is the colour that you are supposed to coordinate with something you like, that suits you? or is it going to be a one-off purchase that you don't really feel comfortable with?)

In your shoes? I would probably just go as a "regular" guest and have fun, but not get sucked into any of the preparations etc.