Bridesmaid to Maid of Honor

[ForMintLeader]

I recently asked all my bridesmaids and matron of honor to be in my wedding and now I am second guessing my MOH choice. I choose a friend from college who I have known for 10 years to be my matron of honor. We’re getting married in the same year and I am her maid of honor. I am happy with that choice, but now I am questioning if I should have also asked my best friend from childhood to be my maid of honor. Lots of people have been surprised to find out I didn’t ask her. I don’t think my matron of honor would mind or be offended, she was actually surprised to be MOH and not my other friend. But I also don’t think my childhood best friend was offended to only be a bridesmaid. She lives 10 hours away so I don’t think she could be of much help for a bachelorette, even thought I just want a chill weekend down the shore. I’m worried my MOH might get offended if I decide to ask now. Is it worth it to promote my friend from bridesmaid to MOH and risk upsetting my current matron of honor? And how would I go about asking her to be MOH now after asking to only be a bridesmaid?

What would be the benefit of changing now?

You can’t downgrade someone. It’s immensely rude and will cause serious upset. Have two MoHs if you must (it’s a bit silly, but better than this plan!)

You can’t switch now.

Leave it as it is. As you say childhood friend lives far away so would struggle to be involved in details

Not planning on downgrading anyone, just thinking of asking my childhood to also be a maid of honor (along with my already Matron of Honor)

Genuine question - what is the difference?

I just had my sister as a bridesmaid, ie, woman standing close to me in a fancy dress, who held my flowers during the ceremony. There really wasn’t much more to it than that, as I recall.

And then I was her bridesmaid - same deal. Fancy dress, held flowers at appropriate moments.

not much of a difference, she would be standing closer to me during the ceremony and would make a speech at the reception, but that’s really it. No bridal shower and low keep bachelorette so not much she would need to help with, if anything at all. I know it seems silly but I don’t want to look back one day and regret not giving her a bigger role and she is like a sister to me (and I don’t have a sister)

Maid of honour is for those that are married and bridesmaid is for those that are unmarried. That is the tradition. So if unmarried you could not be maid of honour.

A maid of honor does not need to be married, a matron of honor is married (which is my friend who is getting married this year before me)

No, if you're married you're a MATRON of honour. Maid of honour is basically head (unmarried) bridesmaid.

I wouldn't, OP, you'll only piss someone off. If needs be have a chat with BF & say you didn't want to dump a load of organisation/stress on her as she lives further away, whereas the friend you asked to be MOH is on the spot. This way, she can indeed basically just rock up, wear a nice frock, & enjoy the day with you.

I have to agree with this.

Also with @mumonthehill

It is just a different name given to two different women who help you get ready, then stand in nice dresses for the photos.

you'd be daft to start upsetting people now.