Critique my catering plan

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Give me your most viperish take - I’ve got 18 months to sort this.

Plan: early June. 2pm ceremony, 2.45/3pm reception. Gorgeous huge local garden, marquee/stretch tent for cover as needed. Seats and occasional tables scattered about. Circulating staff facilitating the food. Vintage china (hired). Buffet food tables/tablecloths.

Fizz on arrival (cremant de Loire) or sparkling elderflower. Jugs of water available.

Cocktail bar making jugs of 4 different cocktails for the staff to circulate- likely Pimm’s, a gin cocktail and 2 nonalcoholic ones.

Vegetarian sandwiches from local sandwich place: cheddar and chutney, Brie and grape, roasted veg &hummus, cucumber.

Crudites and 2 dips, probably tsatziki and hummus again.

Cake: 2 mini scones per guest with clotted cream and jam (300 scones). Choice of rich chocolate cake, lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge with strawberries and cream. Additional gluten free and vegan option depending on numbers needing this.

Wedding cake bought from local
cake maker: fruit cake layer, gluten free layer, vegan layer.

Also plain strawberries with/without cream on offer (the venue is a farm that does pick your own strawberries).

Big question: is it crazy to think I could make the scones and basic cakes myself and freeze them over the months, and hire someone to defrost them over the previous 24 hours, ice them and manage them on the day? Money isn’t necessarily the issue so much as preferring my own baking. 300 mini scones, 10 each of the large cakes above.

Sounds lovely to me! You will always get some people moaning (there's no meat/ I don't like scones), but if you and your partner are happy, don't let them upset you.
Agree with your pizza add.
Would the pleasure you'd get from serving your own scones outweigh the stress? If not, why not have a low-key party post wedding, where you serve your own bakes to the people who helped, and let others do the prep on your wedding day?

Second @WashableVelvet's suggestion of the orange & almond cake (Claudia Roden recipe was suggested). I'd choose this over standard wedding cake 9 times out of 10.

Just make sure there's enough portions which are properly GF separated that I don't stuff it up wanting a slice with my wheaty paws all over the dish!

Not in one day if I could avoid it no as I said in that case I would opt to stay the night before.

Because at 6pm the stomach opens and empties to be filled again…one must always fill it at 6pm!!!

I would add pizza in

Are you dead set on having buffet tables or could you have platters/plate tower thingies?

We got married last September (with a marquee) and had a BBQ. We originally planned to go with serving tables but switched to serving boards to make the logistics easier. It worked really well - everyone got fed quicker, no tables were finished when others had only just started, etc.

You could always dot platters around, even if you don’t want a proper sit down meal or table plan.

Edit: the key context I missed is we had 130 guests, that’s why we were worried about the logistics of everyone going up for food!

Is there a vegetarian cafe or restaurant locally that might be able to supply a few dishes? Even just salads, potatoes, bread and cheese would work.

Your plans sound lovely - especially with your updates on this thread.

Hope the weather is great for you, and you have a fabulous day

My brothers wedding was like this back in the late 80's. They got married at 2pm ( church service ). We all mingled about in church grounds after service whilst wedding photos were being taken. Got to reception by about 3pm and was all over and done by 5-6pm. No music, just everyone sitting around eating sandwiches/cakes & scones.
We had travelled down from Scotland to Portsmouth. My parents & our Scottish side of family did find it all a bit boring as just not used to this style of wedding.
We did all get KFC later on in the evening as we were very hungry.

My son’s wedding was 12-5. It was perfect. Not everyone wants the full on stress of a big wedding.

If grown adults can't organise their morning to have breakfast/lunch then that is their problem, not the function they ate attending.

I've only read page 1.....afternoon twa wedding sounds great.
I work for a caterer who does lots of afternoon teas. Fully veg is no issue. Get someone to do this for you....even if you source sandwiches from one place, cakes another etc etc You need one or probably 2 people to do the serving, plating, cleaning etc Don't try to do this yourself as you have guests to speak to.
Don't underestimate the time required to get it ready and plate it up. Especially if you are bot using a full caterer as they won't be experienced.
Remember crockery, cups, spoons, sugar, sweetness, decaf drinks etc etc
Flowers for the tables, table cloths etc
Factor in time for breaking down the wedding too. And people to do it.
Have a lovely day.

Surely, you knew beforehand that there was not going to be an evening do?

Where did she say they didn't? You can still find it boring even if it's not unexpected.

It all sounds lovely, although as PP has asked, is it substantial.enough? Also, as someone with coeliacs in the family, the GF layer in the cake needs to be completely separate to avoid cross-contamination. Hope the weather holds for you and you have a truly fabulous day,

As well as pizza not fitting in with the afternoon tea theme, is the venue really going to be able to cater pizza for 150 people without it being stone cold? Most places like this has a pizza oven/van type thing which can only do a couple at a time. Be been to a lot of weddings where they do the pizza as a late evening snack and there is always a big queue as the pizzas take so long.

I can’t eat gluten, but this menu really wouldn’t bother me as I’d just have a big lunch beforehand and eat dinner in the evening. Most people do this every day! I’d just enjoy seeing my friends get married and some drinks after.

Sounds like a good approach 👍!
Also, good call about the pizza.

What about some vegetarian samosa? I bet you could find a local takeaway that would do you a good deal? Adds something a little more interesting? Sorry if someone else has already suggested, rather a lot of pages to wade through! Have a great day whatever you do.

NO PIZZA! IT DOES NOT FIT THE AFTERNOON TEA THEME!

It doesn't seem like very much food. I definitely think you should add more savoury options. Quiches, sausage rolls, savoury scones ,etc.

Also do you have any gluten free guests? If so you will need to consider gluten free options

I’m confused by this comment are you trying to be funny here? Or did you not read the post at all?

I don't the the recent posters have read any of the OP's updates.

There is going to be loads of food - two rounds of sandwiches (8 triangles) pp, plus scones, plus cake, plus quiche/pizza is a lot of food.

No, I don't think they have. She's making provision for gluten free.
She's adding quiches and veggie sausage rolls.
Also crudities and dips. Plus fresh strawberries.
The amount seems ample.

Turns out @Tryagain26 didnt even read the first post tbf…OP literally mentions catering for gluten free twice!!

@Tryagain26

come on, hun … 🙄