Critique my catering plan

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Give me your most viperish take - I’ve got 18 months to sort this.

Plan: early June. 2pm ceremony, 2.45/3pm reception. Gorgeous huge local garden, marquee/stretch tent for cover as needed. Seats and occasional tables scattered about. Circulating staff facilitating the food. Vintage china (hired). Buffet food tables/tablecloths.

Fizz on arrival (cremant de Loire) or sparkling elderflower. Jugs of water available.

Cocktail bar making jugs of 4 different cocktails for the staff to circulate- likely Pimm’s, a gin cocktail and 2 nonalcoholic ones.

Vegetarian sandwiches from local sandwich place: cheddar and chutney, Brie and grape, roasted veg &hummus, cucumber.

Crudites and 2 dips, probably tsatziki and hummus again.

Cake: 2 mini scones per guest with clotted cream and jam (300 scones). Choice of rich chocolate cake, lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge with strawberries and cream. Additional gluten free and vegan option depending on numbers needing this.

Wedding cake bought from local
cake maker: fruit cake layer, gluten free layer, vegan layer.

Also plain strawberries with/without cream on offer (the venue is a farm that does pick your own strawberries).

Big question: is it crazy to think I could make the scones and basic cakes myself and freeze them over the months, and hire someone to defrost them over the previous 24 hours, ice them and manage them on the day? Money isn’t necessarily the issue so much as preferring my own baking. 300 mini scones, 10 each of the large cakes above.

No! That poster included it in her poem!.😂
Sounds perfect to me with no dancing!

No, - Afternoon Tea 4-6 - would be clear enough.

Absolutely was going to add this (can you tell I’m coeliac?!) - gluten free needs to be completely separate, if it wasn’t it’s pointless as not safe certainly for coeliacs. Also give consideration to any finger foods / buffet situation that if gluten crumby hands are touching bits then this also makes it not safe. If you are making scones etc. yourself again please ensure this is genuinely gluten free, separate utensils, thorough hand washing, etc. And separate butter, cream, jam etc. for gluten free as this cannot be shared with crumbs that have been used with ‘normal’ ones.

No-one is going to be able to charge anything to the bride and groom.
Reception 2-6pm for Afternoon Tea is clear enough.
Folks will decide what they want to do, and where, when the event finishes at 6pm.
No need to tell people where they can get more food after the wedding.

I've just seen your update that this is happening in Oxford and I think I know the city farm you are referring to and it will be a lovely venue! I think your plans sound spot on too, although I'd think about putting on a coach to get people from the church to the farm. I'd also avoid making the cakes myself after once being a bridesmaid at a wedding where the bride was an enthusiastic amateur baker who made the enormous wedding cake and I had to help cut mould off the bottom of it on the morning of the wedding. I can't remember why it went wrong exactly, but it was something to do with timescales around freezing, defrosting and decorating. They were/are a decent baker, but it's fair to say that they overreached themself on this occasion.

At least pizza so that there’s something warm going around?

I suppose it’s summer so not a necessity, but still.

It's an afternoon tea.
I think some posters have unrealistic expectations.

Sounds like my sisters wedding which was fab. Early afternoon ceremony followed by afternoon tea. Everyone was home by 6. As long as people know the timings you have plenty of food.

Very true!

I only said pizza because OP had mentioned it, I agree it doesn’t fit the rest of the vibe.

It’s still 4 hours with sandwiches and dips. But I come from a country where we must overfeed guests at all costs so that’s probably why it seems to be a bit sparse for me. I agree that OP will know her guest’s preferences better than anyone.

I haven't read the whole thread yet but here's my take:

I think you could jazz up your dips a bit - hummus twice isn't very exciting.

I hear you re making your own scones (I was seriously tempted to cater my own wedding. Thank the Goddess I didn't.) Just don't. You don't need the stress and next to no-one will appreciate the effort / stress it takes. Making your own cakes is more do-able if you make them weeks in advance but if money is not the issue, I wouldn't.

Do be clear about the timings and catering so guests are pre-prepared.

For me personally (diabetic) there is slightly too much sugar involved in the options but that's just me and it is somewhat the nature of afternoon tea.

I think it sounds lovely in principle but not enough scones and I agree with the suggestion to add in pizza, or something else like baby pies. I would also include a meat option for the sandwiches - as a meat eater, I probably wouldn’t eat any of the three options you’ve suggested.

Hmm yes, I have the horrors at wet sandwiches, the soggy bread .. can’t eat a sandwich with tomatoes in for this reason. Also Brie is something people either love or hate, my family is divided between the two.
Sandwiches are surprisingly hard to cater with actually, thinking about it !

I'm guessing that you haven't seen that this is a vegetarian reception.

To be fair, I think there's going to be plenty of food, and a reasonable variety if you read the OP's updates.

How far are people travelling? I don't blanket disagree with a celebration, be it a wedding or kids party not having a meal if it isn't over a meal time. In fact (and I don't know if there will be kids at the wedding) I used to struggle when my kid was invited to a party with food at a very unconventional time, because he'd struggle not being fed normally before and after. I think your snacks sound yummy and varied. However for a kids party travel is usually 30 mins max so 2-6 would be finishing lunch at 1.30 at the latest and being back for tea at 6.30-7. If guests are travelling maybe an hour or even two, that's eating before 12 and home for tea at 8. That's not ok. I would do a proper meal. Can be cold buffet if you want, but stuff like sandwiches, quiches, etc.

I want to come to your wedding.

sounds lovely Op. congrats and have a wonderful day…

Jesus wept!

All sounds delicious - it's what I wish I'd done for my own wedding in 2010.

I work in the wedding industry now and a lot of receptions are going more informal (think no seating plans, relaxed buffets etc)

Congratulations and hope you have a wonderful time x

Not nearly enough food , if people are travelling to the venue they probably won’t have lunch
more so if there’s alcohol
more food is a must

A wedding from 2-6?!

Those sound really horrible

So this is for an event for 2pm that then goes on until what time?

And no meat at all?

If your guests are going to be basically engaged in a wedding including travelling etc from say around 12 until 9pm I’d say you are massively massively under catering.

OP has stated until 6pm!!

What's happening on this thread, genuinely?