Critique my catering plan

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Give me your most viperish take - I’ve got 18 months to sort this.

Plan: early June. 2pm ceremony, 2.45/3pm reception. Gorgeous huge local garden, marquee/stretch tent for cover as needed. Seats and occasional tables scattered about. Circulating staff facilitating the food. Vintage china (hired). Buffet food tables/tablecloths.

Fizz on arrival (cremant de Loire) or sparkling elderflower. Jugs of water available.

Cocktail bar making jugs of 4 different cocktails for the staff to circulate- likely Pimm’s, a gin cocktail and 2 nonalcoholic ones.

Vegetarian sandwiches from local sandwich place: cheddar and chutney, Brie and grape, roasted veg &hummus, cucumber.

Crudites and 2 dips, probably tsatziki and hummus again.

Cake: 2 mini scones per guest with clotted cream and jam (300 scones). Choice of rich chocolate cake, lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge with strawberries and cream. Additional gluten free and vegan option depending on numbers needing this.

Wedding cake bought from local
cake maker: fruit cake layer, gluten free layer, vegan layer.

Also plain strawberries with/without cream on offer (the venue is a farm that does pick your own strawberries).

Big question: is it crazy to think I could make the scones and basic cakes myself and freeze them over the months, and hire someone to defrost them over the previous 24 hours, ice them and manage them on the day? Money isn’t necessarily the issue so much as preferring my own baking. 300 mini scones, 10 each of the large cakes above.

Someone mentioned coronation chickpea and I think that's a great idea for a vegan sandwich filling. Then you've got a couple - coronation chickpea plus hummus and veg.

I think it sounds amazing and wish I could come.

Well said.

Don’t let them freeze the scones, they never turn out for the best. Freshly made, from a bakery.

Have it all made, less stress, as the transporting, decorating and storing will be a headache

How about quiche? I love a quiche, that’s well made

Afternoon tea wedding reception, sounds lovely

I am a light eater, but this seems not enough food to me - I would add a few more options with the sandwiches as canapes maybe to bulk it up? Also worth noting some people aren't a fan of cakes/desserts so might only have the savoury part, which doesn't sound like a lot.

I think it sounds really nice. I hate big weddings that go on all bloody day and night...I don't want a massive sit down meal in my nice dress and the idea of wanted a massive evening dinner like hog roast or jacket potato (I understand this is a wedding thing now) makes me reel.

This sounds lite and casual - enjoyable - not just an excuse for excess.

If you wanted to bulk out the food a few cheese boards or some savoury scones and whipped butter

Similar wedding at a castle, 2 hours of guests standing, with no where to sit, and no refreshments, while the wedding couple, not even us bridesmaids, disappeared off for photographs.

Utter hell in heels. I don’t know why people think this is acceptable

Sorry just read this, I think with adding the pizza and maybe some little canapes - this will be more than enough, especially with your timings :) I would also consider a marquee as you said - just in case the weather lets you down. Congrats on your wedding!

I think your wedding sounds absolutely lovely and I don’t want you to be changing due to worry that some randomer on Mumsnet thinks scones are insulting to people from Scunthorpe or other niche problems. The overwhelming majority of your guests will love it.

I did curry at my wedding and didn’t lay on any alternatives (just dietary ones for those with allergies) and no one has complained yet. If people don’t like food at the wedding they can eat Pringles in the car on the way home as is traditional.

Only other thing if not previously covered - if kids are there some plastic or paper plates/cups and maybe juice would save a lot of parental anxiety about china. 😁

I have nothing helpful to add but your wedding sounds lovely. Can I come 😂

Sounds great! The only thing worth thinking about is that everyone will be leaving and worrying about where to go for dinner, which is a bit of a strange vibe.

The OP is laying two whole rounds of sandwiches pp (making 8 sandwiches pp if cut into triangles), plus other sundries, plus scones, plus cakes. That is quite a lot of food.

Agree all the gluten free food needs to be separated from the rest if you are catering for any coeliacs.

Why would they worry? They could just go home, or go out for a meal later?

May I suggest a shot of gavisgon for the toast
Sounds like a lovely day ☺️

It’s no where near enough, OP. What about burgers?? Chicken nuggets and chips, that kind of thing? People need constant access to food during weddings.
Otherwise you’ll risk people passing out from hunger or getting so drunk that they vomit everywhere. Are you only getting married for the aesthetic, for Instagram?

I have sandwiches for lunch every day

Adding some canapes might add a sense of occasion. And these could be vegetarian / some GF

I would also check for vegans and celiac and whatnot before ordering your food. I literally know one veggie so a whole section would be a waste for my wedding.
This might be more common down south though I realise

Will there be enough seats for all the guests to sit down with their food and drink inside the marquee?

I imagine it depends if most the guests are local? Which given the vibe I would assume they will be, I wouldn't imagine the plan is for a lot of people to travel cross country for an afternoon event?

What? Why do people need constant access to food for a three hour period of time in the middle of the day?! Do people really eat this much? Who needs burgers, chips AND afternoon tea at 2 o’clock in the day please, please help me understand!?

I think it sounds lovely, but I second the adding either pizza/ sausage rolls/ quiche. I would absolutely bin the mini scone idea, how about just getting a load of scones (I wouldn't see a problem with supermarket scones) and bowls of jam and cream and letting people do their own? That would reduce the need for labour.

I'd usually agree, as in it wouldn't nearly be enough if it was an all day and evening event. Seeing as it's only 3pm -6pm though I think it sounds lovely.

@Statsquestion1

people want substantial food especially when drinking. The food should be right at the top of the priority list when planning a wedding. It’s only fair on the guests who are giving up their precious time to be there

Your plan sounds much nicer to me than these whole days and into the evening events! As long as you make it clear on the invitations that it's an afternoon tea, I think it will be fine. I prefer homemade scones too and they freeze well and don't take long to defrost.

Is this a wedding or a WI event?
I work in this area, 2pm ceremony means guests miss lunch getting ready/travelling. Average guests will be hammered on cocktails unless you’re catering for pensioners who have a thimble of elderflower fizz.
Is this a wedding? Church ceremony 45-60 mins? Too long, celebrant wedding ceremony 30 mins has bums shuffling on seats. Registrar is about 13 mins for a wedding.
No cake suppliers or caters will want to mess with your pre frozen scones (soggy), there’s no money in it and they don’t want people to think they’ve made them if soggy or dry.
Lots of carbs, way too many - sandwiches (always dry curled up in summer), cake (cross contamination risk unless separate), scones, pizza available.
Vintage mismatching crockery is over and awful, I’d find a matching blue and white Chinese set to hire, on trend. Or white matching and blue and white floral tablecloths.
How long does this go on? How many folk? There’s not enough food. Where is the beer? Men want beer and you’ll lose them to the nearest pub.