Invitation Wording - Children optional

[Bakeycakes]

Hey!

I recently got engaged and we're in the process of working through the guest list. Children are absolutely welcome to our wedding (we have nieces and nephews/god children etc who we'd like to be a part of it) but I fully appreciate most adults would quite like to attend these events themselves to 'let their hair down' if you like.

I'm looking for a way to word my invites to say exactly that - While we'd love to be there, we appreciate you might want a night to yourselves kinda thing so don't feel like because we've included them on the invitations, that you definitely need to bring them out of principle.

Help please!! I'm rubbish with wording - All I can find online are 'Kids not welcome' or 'ceremony only adults evening' words.

Thank you in advance xx

I don’t think you need any wording. Parents will decide themselves whether to bring their children or not.

If I got an invite with your suggested wording,I’d think you were trying to encourage me to not bring them and that you’d rather they weren’t there.

How many will have children? Could you contact them separately and explain?

Why don't you just add in the smaller RSVP print, 'kindly inform us of any accompanying children'...

I personally wouldn't add the names of children on all invitations. Those who aren't closest to you will either get in touch to ask, or find childcare.

How about “We we are happy to have the whole family or just the adults, whichever you prefer”.

Your OP is a bit mixed messages! What you seem to be saying really is that you'd rather kids weren't there but you don't want to offend anyone by being too firm about it. Some of your guests will just think it's a family wedding so kids will enjoy it, be running around etc (they may not be supervising them that much either!) and they don't want the hassle or expense of arranging childcare. Once you've got a few children there you may as well have loads - the adult only 'let your hair down' experience has gone really.

I agree with PP it may sound as though you’re discouraging them from bringing children!
For those with children could you address the invite to “The Smith Family” and then put in the rsvp details “please let us know if children are accompanying”?

I fully appreciate most adults would quite like to attend these events themselves to 'let their hair down' if you like.

I don’t think this is true. If people don’t want to bring their children so they can get drunk or whatever else you are suggesting they plan on doing, they will just accept for themselves and not their children.

Id just invite the adults to the wedding and then you can see if people contact you to ask about their DC. Only on the internet do I see issues with this. I’ve never ever assumed my children are invited to a wedding. Any wedding I’ve ever attended the only DC there are those close to the wedding party or the children of people who’ve travelled long distance to attend. Honestly don’t overthink it OP.

I’d keep it fairly informal and say:

All 5 of you are invited and we’d love to have you all with us, but if you’d prefer to come and party without children, that’s great too - please let us know for sure how many of you will be attending by x date so we can plan and cater accordingly.

(basically don’t imply that your flexibility extends to last minute additions of 3 children if they suddenly change their mind at the last minute because “you are flexible”)

I would never contact anyone to ask if my kids are welcome - I assume the answer is no if they aren't explicitly invited. I think it's really rude to ask, it puts the couple in an awkward position.

Just say that the kids are welcome if they are. People don't need permission to not bring them, they will just not bring them if they'd rather not and have babysitting options available to them. But don't be surprised that some people would genuinely prefer to bring them - and if that's not what you want, that's fine but be clear about it! You can say family children only (and that can include godchildren) if that would be your actual preference - you don't have to invite them all or absolutely none.

I would put the adults' names on the invitations and then a handwritten note at the bottom 'Children are welcome, but please let us know numbers by 1st April'. If you have for example work colleagues who you'd prefer to come without their children, don't add it.

Invite all. On the RSVP have 3 options: love to come and party just the two of us.
love to come with the kids and celebrate togtjer
sadly we can’t make it.

makes it super easy.