Wanting to keep our destination wedding date with a newborn — am I mad to think this can work?

[Bianca2025]

Hi everyone,

I’d really appreciate some honest advice or experiences.

We’ve planned a destination wedding, and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. It’s lovely news, but the timing means our baby could be around 2 months old — maybe even younger — when the wedding happens.

The thing is, I mainly want to make it work and keep the date. I love the wedding we’ve planned, and I don’t feel ready to give that up. But I’m also wondering… am I mad to think this is actually doable with such a tiny baby?

I’m a very organised person and I like having things under control, so the idea of travelling abroad and managing a newborn while also being a bride feels like a lot to wrap my head around.

Has anyone here had a destination wedding with a very young baby? Or travelled internationally with a newborn?
How did you handle the flights, the logistics, feeding/sleeping, and actually enjoying the day?
Did you bring extra support? Would you do anything differently?

Even if you haven’t done it yourself, I’d love to hear what you’d do in my situation.

Thank you so much for any advice ❤️

I think it is unrealistic, you either need to bring the wedding forward before the baby is born or put it back by at least 6 months.

Taking a tiny baby abroad will be stressful, I ended up having an emergency c.section and dd was in the baby unit for a week. Theres no way I’d have put her on a plane at two months old.

I merely attended a friend's wedding in the UK (long drive) with a 4 week old. she was my 3rd, I knew what I was doing, straight forward birth, easy feeder.
And it still nearly killed me. With my 1st I would have never managed.
Totally nuts idea.

With my first I had an emcs and couldn’t walk for the first 2 months, it was another month after that that I was able to drive. We did however take baby away at 4.5 months old to visit family abroad - by then I was fine, he’d had first jabs, and he was mostly in the pram so it was an easy time (

I think going ahead is a risk OP - it could work out fine, but it might not. I wouldn’t do it. The disappointment if it didn’t work out would be too much for me.

I'd move it. You're reliant on too many things to go right.

You say you're a person who likes to have everything under control. Even if your wedding is completely under control, the baby and your own health is a variable which is currently unknown. Obviously you may have a really easy baby, but there will still be the cluster feeding at that age (I was glued to the sofa from 6-1130, then up three times in the night at that point). If the plan is for a very structured day, that will need to go out the window as babies don't wait. It can take ages just to get out the door. I didn't believe it either, but it's true.

If you intend to breastfeed then you are really tied to the baby at that age. If you aren't, even the different water can have an effect on a tiny baby and you'll have to lug a ton of equipment with you. If the baby get sick or overheated will you feel comfortable with the local healthcare? I've had my kid get ill abroad and even at age 1, in a country with great healthcare, it was difficult to navigate where to go. If you have family and friends from there it's a little easier, but still.

Flying at that age is pretty easy, if there is any kind of jet lag prepare for the baby to have not gotten the memo about how to manage it. The tiredness of a baby who hasn't slept all night owing to jet lag is unbelievable. Finally even if your whole family, who is hopefully very supportive, is there, you will want to deal with the baby yourself. You will feel torn in two and at that age if breastfeeding you will still be at risk of engorgement and leaking without very regular feeding, not to mention the possibility that you will need more time to recover if there are any complications or birth injuries.

I personally wouldn't do it, the baby is unlikely to be happy, you won't get the day you planned and whilst it's possible it might go swimmingly, the possibility of it going wrong is still high enough to cancel.

It's 2 months not 2 weeks, so personally I'd say it should be doable.

I went abroad with a newborn at 6 weeks, and that was absolutely fine. My toddler took up 90% of the work, the baby was more of an add on really 😂

Yes that was my second, but my first was even easier because no crazy toddler!

I had planned sections which were really easy to recover from, so I was physically pretty much back to normal within a week or so.

Yes, you could have both complications and still being discomfort. Your baby could require NICU stay. But your child could become ill and require hospitalisation at any point, no one knows what the future holds.

Don't do it, you could have a traumatic birth, or a c section. And it will be hot in August wherever you are
Change the date now, or change to a UK wedding

I don't think I'd do it. Even if you get a passport there are so many variables/risks to baby etc.

We took our baby to a relatives wedding when she was 6 weeks old (so not even my own wedding). Venue 2.5 hours away. Absolute nightmare. She had us up most of the night the night before, so we felt absolutely awful anyway. Then she spent the entire day crying, which was ruining it for the other guests and we just couldn't get her to settle. We had accomodation booked for the night but we just packed up the car and went home after a few hours.

Getting a first passport takes time, even if you can register the birth fairly quickly, varies by area how long that takes. If baby is late it’s pretty fine

Also where? Italy with a 2 hours flight and no health issues is very different to the Caribbean flight length and tropical disease issues. I flew with dd longhaul at 7 weeks journey was fine but only got the passport a week before!

Just to add, re the go when they're 6 months old instead idea.

With my second:

Newborn stage: woke approx 2-3 hourly
Me: felt great, actually like how I look in photos those first few months.

6 month old: woke at least every hour. Would often cluster feed from 3am, with average time for a whilst, of being content without nipple in mouth of just 6 minutes. Yes I timed it.

Me: like a shadow of myself. Would burst into tears when people asked me how I was. I was back working as well which was hard. I looked and felt like shit. Oh and could barely walk as constant breastfeeding on my side knackered my back, and I'd badly injured me knee in a fall.

I think it’s madness. I hardly managed to leave the house for thr first six weeks after I had my first let alone travel somewhere and BE the bride. it sounds stressful and unnecessarily risky for baby too.

You want everything all at once and sometimes you can’t have that.

If the question was “should I attend a destination wedding with a two month old” then my answer would be yes, it’s doable with help from your dp, being relaxed about how it all pans out etc. This is very different to being the bride where you will be the centre of attention having what is supposed to be one of the best days of your life. It might all go to plan but it might well be very, very different from the vision you had when you started to plan. For me, it would be a no.

There IS an express service for a first child passport and I flew with my baby at 2 weeks as we flew to see my in-laws as they were unable to travel. The express services is one week. This is the link https://www.gov.uk/get-a-passport-urgently

So OP, in terms of paper work it is doable. But you need to be organised. You need to register the birth within days, then book the express service for the passport and hope the birth certificate arrives in time. Photos are easy take the baby to a professional, the baby doesn’t have to look at the camera or even be awake. I was lucky in that we just booked flights once the passport arrived. However, you will most likely need to book your flights and then add the baby to your booking. I also flew only to Northern Europe which was short.

i was fine, but was “at home” with family. I didn’t have to contend with a wedding. I would try and bring the wedding forward or delay.

I didn’t feel like myself for quite a while after birth.
I just wasn’t really with it. And wanted to be snuggled up on the sofa a lot of the time, short walks around the neighbourhood etc. I was still a funny shape at 2months pp and still sore.

I was still unwell 2 months postpartum. I think you should get married in the country you live in before the baby is born. If you want a destination wedding then wait a year.

The baby could well be just 6 weeks old if he/she arrives late which many babies do.
And of course a baby could be ill anytime but in most cases it wouldn't be when a big overseas wedding has been planned.
OP congratulations! Realistically it's impossible for the wedding to be the wedding you planned with a baby, because having a child changes everything and tiny babies are unpredictable you can't be in control of everything with a baby either
If it was me I would try and bring the wedding forward and have it before the baby is born.

Even if you take out all of the serious potential pitfalls other posters have mentioned and just consider the most superficial - how you may look - it's a huge no from me.

You really have no idea if you'll be a 'bounce backer' or not. If not, you may still look pregnant. I looked pregnant for several months after giving birth...I don't think my stomach properly started flattening out until at least 4 months ish.

6-8 weeks post partem, I can't think of anything worse than parading around in my wedding dress as the centre of attention.

We applied for ds' passport when he was 4 days old, got it back in a couple of weeks, and flew business class (got the 'love seats', very comfortable) when he was 6 weeks. I wasn't still bleeding or anything and breastfeeding was a doddle. However, we were under no pressure/timescale to travel.. as none of the above are guaranteed, if I were you, I'd postpone if possible.

I was not myself at 2 months PP, I was still feeling unwell after an EMCS and chorioamnionitis and I was still bleeding quite heavily.

Everybody is different, and some of my friends have been fit as a fiddle by the 2 month mark. I hope thats your experience too! But personally I wouldn't risk it. Also congratulations 🎊

I wouldn’t do it for all the reasons PPs have listed and also because of the amount of stuff you’d need to take for a newborn. They don’t travel light, especially if bottle feeding. Chucking it all in the car is one thing. Packing it for a plane, nah.

I wouldn’t risk it. I have 6 children and we have went abroad when they have been as little as 11 weeks. However, a wedding is such a big undertaking. There are so many factors at play.
*your due date means very little and you could go 2 weeks over it.
*even with a low risk pregnancy, things can go wrong. My 6th baby ended up with respiratory failure and was in NICU intubated for weeks- not premature, no csection etc like you would typically see with this presentation. No history of any issues at all with my older children.
*organising a passport on time might be tricky.
*2 months old is very young. You could still be establishing breastfeeding, might not be in any sort of routine. With breastfeeding specifically- cluster feeding is still common at the 2 month mark- would that be practical on the evening of your wedding?
*you could still not be 100% physically at 2 months postpartum- i was hospitalised with gallstones at that point after no.5 and then kidney stones at that point with no.6.
*your baby may not have been vaccinated by that point.

is this your first baby?

Aaww I'm sorry OP but I personally wouldn't. I would postpone until they are older and I would pay to bring a babysitter with me and not rely on family members or others attending the wedding for child care!

No way. I’ve been to UK weddings when both of mine were around 3-4 months and it was hard work but fine for the sake of the couple. But to be the bride, abroad, with a newborn? Horrendous idea. One of mine was very colicky around 4-8 weeks and spent every night screaming for a few hours. Imagine trying to enjoy your wedding with that going on!

Travelling with a newborn is a whole lot easier than travelling with a toddler, but in my view, it’s a daft idea to do the wedding at that stage. You’ll be short of sleep, still carrying baby weight/flab, quite possibly some postnatal depression, and juggling feeds, naps and a ton of baby stuff and equipment. It’s very unlikely you’ll be in any fit state to enjoy your wedding. Any memories you have of the day afterwards will be hazy and overlaid with the fug of exhaustion.