Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

My MIL is driving me MAD!

15 replies

Followthestarsxoxo · 14/07/2025 13:43

Me and my partner have been together 10 years, have 2 sons who are 4 and 1, we live on our own have since was 20 years old, so for 8 years. Things are always up and down there her, we have been getting on for years but since the wedding is approaching she is just horrible towards me and constantly has such an attitude, she’s always going her way to do stuff for my partner, just being so extra for example…

she text me this morning asking if she can come and visit on Wednesday (my birthday) to visit my partner before he goes to Amsterdam for 2 nights on Friday.

last week she called me asking if this Wednesday (again my birthday) asking what shifts I’m on because she want to take my partner shopping for knew clothes for his holiday, I explained being going for 2 nights and I got him new stuff to take already, she proceeded to say that she wants to get him hits to take.

she’s constantly on my case, calling me daily asking how he is ect.

my partner has dad vertigo attacks she’s told me to cancel the wedding about 20 times because it’s causing him too much stress, baring in mind he’s told me and he’s told his mom it’s the only thing that’s helping him right now.

shes brought him work clothes, waited for me to get home from work then told him to try them on and then said to me I can throw the ones I brought him in the bin now.

when we chose the suits for the wedding, she was crying and genuinely looked heart broken. My partner asked me “do you like them darling?” His mom said “it’s not about is she likes them do you like them”

she is driving me INSANE!

OP posts:
AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 14/07/2025 13:44

Why are either of you buying clothes for a grown man? Ick.

Followthestarsxoxo · 14/07/2025 14:10

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 14/07/2025 13:44

Why are either of you buying clothes for a grown man? Ick.

The reason I buy his clothes is because he buys himself nothing and would happily wear the same clothes for years and years. It’s certainly not an ick when he’s paying for the roof over my head or the clothes on mine and ours kids backs, or the car I drive I daily.

OP posts:
LivingDeadGirlUK · 14/07/2025 14:15

God OP you have the patients of a saint to get this far with her. From your post it seems like she is spending a lot of time communicating through you and that should probably stop. Have a chat with your partner so you are both on the same page, ie if she tries to make plans on your birthday your partner will shut it down. Then take a step back from answering her and responding to her.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 14/07/2025 14:22

Mute notifications for her number?

She can call her son, forward all her queries to him, and only check for messages from her occasionally.

Followthestarsxoxo · 14/07/2025 14:35

LivingDeadGirlUK · 14/07/2025 14:15

God OP you have the patients of a saint to get this far with her. From your post it seems like she is spending a lot of time communicating through you and that should probably stop. Have a chat with your partner so you are both on the same page, ie if she tries to make plans on your birthday your partner will shut it down. Then take a step back from answering her and responding to her.

Thank you I know this is a good idea, I don’t want to cause blood I don’t want arguments but it’s all just too much

OP posts:
AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 14/07/2025 14:45

Followthestarsxoxo · 14/07/2025 14:10

The reason I buy his clothes is because he buys himself nothing and would happily wear the same clothes for years and years. It’s certainly not an ick when he’s paying for the roof over my head or the clothes on mine and ours kids backs, or the car I drive I daily.

Double ick.

You and your MIL are literally fighting to mother him more.

Followthestarsxoxo · 14/07/2025 15:54

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 14/07/2025 14:45

Double ick.

You and your MIL are literally fighting to mother him more.

Lmao you’re the Ick taking the time to comment negativity no one asked for, so spend your spend time doing some else

OP posts:
boulevardofbrokendreamss · 14/07/2025 16:02

Oh his my mil buys my husbands pants. That was an in k too much for me.

she is properly bonkers though, she wants to be the controlling mother. We’ve been together over 25 years. My patience is done with her she has got worse and worse. I was working at home today, I heard the key fo and she just let herself in. No know, no suggestion that she was there. Rude. I’ve asked for the keys, she’s left with the keys.

I think my point is that it won’t get any better, it needs to stop now

Walker1178 · 14/07/2025 16:22

she sounds obsessed, unfortunately it’s your DP that needs to cut the apron strings it’s not on you.

For what’s it’s worth I buy the majority of my DPs clothes, he hates heading into the shops but makes the effort for my birthday and Christmas. I don’t see anything wrong at all with picking him up some things when I’m shopping. I definitely don’t see it as mothering him and I don’t understand why it’s giving PP the ick!

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 14/07/2025 16:25

We went nc with my mil when she rang the wedding suit hire shop and tried to change what dh had chosen to wear.. She put the waterworks on when he told her not to come to the wedding..

Hoppinggreen · 14/07/2025 16:27

Followthestarsxoxo · 14/07/2025 15:54

Lmao you’re the Ick taking the time to comment negativity no one asked for, so spend your spend time doing some else

She isn't wrong though.
Both of you are fighting over him like some huge man baby and he is letting you.

Zempy · 14/07/2025 16:43

Why is she messaging you asking how he is? Does he not have a phone? I just can’t understand the dynamics here.

Are you in the UK?

Rattai · 14/07/2025 17:09

Why is she messaging you at all?? Why is my she just asking her son directly?

AdoraBell · 14/07/2025 17:31

What did your partner say about her comment about throwing away the clothes you bought?

Schoolchoicesucks · 15/07/2025 07:23

I'm not surprised, this would drive me mad too.
The dynamic between the 3 of you is strange. Perhaps she doesn't see your DH as a grown man - if you have been together since he was 18 and she babied him then.

You don't have a problem with you "taking him to buy him clothes". Each to their own, but perhaps if she saw him doing stuff for himself - or he told her he could do it himself - she would back off.
As for her calling you daily to ask how he is - stop answering. I don't necessarily even mean stop taking her calls, but when she asks how he is respond "why don't you ask him MIL?"

Has he told her to stop buying him things and calling you instead of him?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page