Eloping and then wedding party later?

[LVHereWeCome]

OH and I are considering eloping to Vegas. We’ve been together nearly 15 years. We are planning to start TTC next year but it’s really important to me to be married first. OH isn’t fussed either way but is up for eloping.

We love weddings, and would love to have one with all our friends and family but finances have never made it possible. Renovating a house and now saving for a baby.

We are considering getting married in Las Vegas. OH travels for work and we’ll have air miles and hotel credit to make it very cheap. We’d do a mini-moon as part of the trip.

Then maybe in 2027 have a big party in the garden. Marquee and a buffet and all our friends.

Has anyone done anything similar for similar reasons? How do you feel about it now?

We got married in Vegas last September and loved it - it was simple, easy and everything we wanted & more, the perfect day. We had a party when we got back but it was only the weekend after. A few grumbles but majority were super happy for us and happy to celebrate a few days later :) would love to do it all over again 🥰

my only concern with doing the party too much later is that it won’t really seem like a wedding party to most! X

I think it sounds like a great idea. Far less bloody hassle. The only thing I would say is why wait soo long for the party in the garden after it.

The reason for doing it so long after is pretty much just cost. Even putting on a garden party marquee with 85 people in attendance is expensive, more than we can afford (or we’d be doing it already!) We really want lots of people there as we have huge families and lots of friends with kids which has always been part of the issue of affording a wedding!

We’d plan the party as a proper wedding. Dress, bridesmaids, ceremony, first dance, cake etc. My friend is an actor and a writer and I know he’d be chuffed to be asked to conduct a ceremony. So I hope we can make it feel really weddingy.

We’ve considered micro weddings before but we can’t bear to choose so few people.

We’d plan the party as a proper wedding. Dress, bridesmaids, ceremony, first dance, cake etc.

..but why? The whole point of eloping is to avoid the expense and hassle of hosting guests. Paying to host a pretend wedding two years later doesn't make sense.

Eloping is a great idea and I think if you want an anniversary party in a few years then great, planning it as a wedding 2 years later seems a bit pointless but it’s not like it would harm anyone so crack on.

My first wedding was vaguely similar - in that we eloped without telling anyone, then had a big party when we got back. It was great actually as there was no pressure around who to invite, where to sit, etc, we just had a great big party for pretty much everyone we knew.

I don’t see the point of eloping to then basically plan a wedding at a later date. A party maybe, but not a full on wedding reception with bridesmaids,

Because being married is important for me before having children, but we can’t afford to do the whole shebang right now. So do the elopement, which can be planned quickly and cheaply, and then a bit down the line do a party.

Might not need to go the whole hog. I know my granny would love to bake us a cake, but it’s not going to travel well to the US!

Get married when and where you want.
Have a party when and where you want.

Don’t call your party a wedding if it’s not!

I would be totally happy with this! Sounds very sensible and would love to come to the later "wedding"!

We eloped and then had a party a couple of months later. No regrets. Definitely recommend!

I have no problems with people eloping. And in your position, definitely makes sense. But I wouldn't be bothered with a "make-believe" wedding in a couple of years. Have a party by all means, maybe a big housewarming or a welcome party for your baby, but don't cos-play a wedding.

Thanks for the input. I’ve actually been to a few weddings like this where the ceremony wasn’t actually done there and then and never felt like it was “cosplay” but it’s an interesting point :)

Was it years later though? That’s the bit that makes the difference for me

One was 8 months

This, and the pp who mention 'cos-playing'.

If you want to save money and elope, then do so.
If you want a more traditional wedding with lots of family and friends, a party, and bridesmaids, then do so.
At any point in your life, if you want to host a party, then do so.

But this mish mosh is just daft.

Why not elope if it’s the marriage that’s the important part, I get that.

I really don’t see the point of having a party so long afterwards though. It’s not a wedding and it’s a bit late to celebrate your marriage. You’d have already celebrated your first anniversary by then. Things like first dance would be especially weird - it’s supposed to be your first dance as a married couple, not first dance on 16 July 2027 or whatever.

I think I'm just trying to find a way to still celebrate something with friend and family around me. I've loved spending time with lots of people that are important to my friends/family at weddings so I figured it would be nice to do something similar. Maybe you're right and it's too far away. Makes me a little sad to not get all my favourite people in one place, though.

If you are eloping i would not then do the whole bridesmaid, dress thing - just throw a really good party sooner, buffet or bbq (or both) bring your own booze and casual, a fun party

Unfortunately not an option to do anything sooner (cost being the biggest issue). So it might be better to just bin off the idea if people think it would be weird or silly.

Marquees are expensive but we rigged up tarps for my first wedding (just as well it poured) plus borrowed a couple of gazebos.

Yeah they are ridiculously expensive! Plus food and drink for 80-100 people is a lot! I have a venue (family property) but it definitely would need rain cover. And I hate people spending money on me so I would want to cater it fully to make sure everyone can have a good time. (I begrudge making people travel to a location due to the cost, but unfortunately I have family and friends who live spread out so I'm not sure what I can do).

We did the eloping to vegas thing. Loved it! Neither me or DH have great big friendly families we have the kind of families who would stand in corners glaring at each other and then putting on fake smiles when anyone’s watching. We both hate attention so had no desire to be stared at or watched walking down an aisle. Neither of us are religious so there was no ‘married before God’ requirement. We just wanted to be married the wedding was a necessary step to get there.

A few days after we got back we had a ‘do’ in a pub. Hired a big room in the back, had a friend DJ, Dad put some money behind the bar, went to Tesco and bought a big, medium and small sized chocolate cakes and stacked them, put up some balloons, scattered disposable cameras around, and filled a table loaded with snacks/buffet stuff. No gift list, no dress code, just a load of friends and the nice family members drinking, dancing and chatting. Afterwards we had the photos developed and spent a bit of time laughing at all the candid shots and amateur but happy images we captured.

We’ve been together 25 years, married 19. Like you I wanted to be married before we had kids, it was important to me that we did it in that order, but it really is about the marriage not the wedding. The wedding is a party, an opportunity to celebrate the relationship and really important to some people, but it’s not as important as the marriage.

We eloped to Vegas, didn’t have a party when we got back.

One Aunt sent a present. A few friends gave gifts when got back. It suited us. It wasn’t money saving as we done Route 66 as a honeymoon but I don’t regret a thing.

OK, that actually sounds lovely! That would be a great option other than a garden party, which was initially what made sense to me. But seemed so expensive (getting appropriate rain cover seemed to be the issue).

For my OH's 30th we hired a small barn area in a pub garden and I made a cake, my dad paid for food which was just tasty bits that went down on the table. Played a bit of music and had drinks. It was lovely (I'm very jealous as I've never had a big party, not since I was 4, and my 30th was robbed by the pandemic!)