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Original poster

Kids seated or not?

37 replies

Newhere1993 · 14/04/2025 18:33

Hello

We are just starting to plan a wedding and have currently 180 guests on the list which is proving difficult to accommodate (both from big families) however a friend of mine suggested thinking about not seating children between 4-12 and having a children's entertainer/games for them to play,located just outside of the wedding breakfast so visible to parents but being entertained. A lot of the children know other children there and at recent weddings spent most of their time playing football ect. What I was wondering is how comfortable would people be with this arrangement?
We thought that if it was clear when inviting that due to space they won't be seated but there would be picnic style food and entertainment provided next to where we are and would still love them to join and enjoy the day, that makes it clear and leave it up to parents? It would be a relaxed wedding breakfast so they would be able to flow in and out as needed, both sides of the family are used to chaotic busy family events and all help in with looking after children. But also allows us to have everyone there, just don't know how many parents would feel happy with this?

Please help out a stressed bride to be 😂

OP posts:

HuskyNew · 14/04/2025 18:35

I think it would be weird for children not to be able to sit & eat with their parents. What does picnic food mean? Sat on the floor? A 4 - 8 year old will likely prefer to sit with parents and will end up on their knee which is not very comfy or relaxing.

angelopal · 14/04/2025 18:37

How many children are you talking about? Will an entertainer be happy to over see food etc? Mine would not have gone without me at 4. Would the entertainer also be serving food to them? Any allergies to consider?

Droiskyn · 14/04/2025 18:38

I went to a wedding where the couple did this (they had 2 kids of their own). It worked brilliantly, the kids got to eat food they liked and have fun.

GoodVibesHere · 14/04/2025 18:39

No that doesn't sound great to be honest. Sometimes the kids will just want to chill a bit or be with their parents. I wouldn't attend if someone invited me with no seats at the tables for my DC.

mondaytosunday · 14/04/2025 18:57

A 12 year old is not going to want to be entertained - I would be mortified to be lumped on with four year olds! I think possibly 8 and under, though when my kid was 8 she had a fabulous time at a wedding participating fully in the dinner and dancing.
This is one reason I had no kids at my wedding - the little ones the parents would be looking after them and leaving early, the slightly older would be bored. No kids and the parents can enjoy themselves without worry (plus if I’d had kids that would be 12 of my own dear friends off the guest list in favour of children I barely knew).

Anotherdayanothernameagain · 14/04/2025 19:01

My kids would hate it.

Mulledjuice · 14/04/2025 19:01

When and how will the children eat?

HaddyAbrams · 14/04/2025 19:04

Do you mean for the meal? Of course they need seats. Are you expecting the entertainer to supervise their meal? Mine wouldn't have sat with a random stranger whilst I had a meal somewhere else.

Droiskyn · 14/04/2025 19:05

To clarify, the wedding I went to where the kids were in a side room, they were seated at a table.

nobodywantsit · 14/04/2025 19:19

I’ve been to weddings where there was entertainment in a side room for kids but they all had a seat with their parents unless they were babies.
I feel like you’d struggle to find activities to cater to that age range and the younger ones will be running in and out to their parents. Maybe I’m wrong.
How did this work at the wedding you went to @Droiskyn

I think I’d either find a venue that fitted them or have a child free wedding.

TheCurious0range · 14/04/2025 19:25

DS is 6 at my best friend's wedding earlier this year he had a prawn cocktail, beef wellington and some kind of almond cherry dessert, try and palm him off with an entertainer and picnic food on the floor 😂

Also no I wouldn't be comfortable with my young child out of sight in a public venue, but I worked on a recent sexual offending case involving a toy shop that ran activities, so might be more cautious of those kinds of things.

SquigglePigs · 14/04/2025 19:29

My 6 year old would hate this, and at 4 would have refused to be away from us with strangers. Either she'd have ended up on our knees or one of us would have had to miss our meal to be with her. I'd be very unhappy with this as a parent, especially at such a large wedding.

I think it's got potential as an idea for during the speeches though! Even for pudding perhaps if the kids are likely to have got fidgety by then.

CCLCECSC · 14/04/2025 19:31

Putting on entertainment is a great idea but not sure on eating elsewhere.

We went to a wedding with a fair few under 8s who did all know each other and they all had seats alongside their corresponding parents.

The entertainment was in the same room as the tables but off to the side.

TheNightingalesStarling · 14/04/2025 19:35

Went a wedding with brilliant children's entertainment BUT most of the children had an adult with them during the entertainment.

Ponderingwindow · 14/04/2025 19:36

My child would have hated that. If you were my sibling or other very close family and we needed to attend, I would hope you would know my child enough to know that it was a horrible idea. Either I would have to have her in my lap or give up my seat while I stood at the table if she was too big, or i would have to go out and spend the meal with the children.

if you were more distant family or friend, we would just decline.

LittleBigHead · 14/04/2025 19:47

I'm from the generation where a "children's table' at family weddings was pretty normal. But we always had weddings in one or other family house with garden, so it was easier for the smaller children to flow in & out, and it wasn't a rented public space.

I think where it gets tricky is mixing a 12 year old with a 4 year old. Remember being 12 and banished to "the children"?

Overthebow · 14/04/2025 19:50

My 4 year old would be at the table with us for dinner, place or no place as she would just wonder back over. It might work for the older ones but not the young ones. Picnic food may also not be enough for them, they’d probably need some hot food or something more substantial if it’s the main meal of the day.

Overthebow · 14/04/2025 19:52

I think if you don’t have enough room to sit the children you need to invite less people, 180 is a lot.

Original poster

Newhere1993 · 14/04/2025 20:17

Strong opinions in there 😂 maybe just our children to come!
Yep a lot but when your partner has 12 aunties and uncles who all are married, have children and some of them have children numbers do get large and we have big gatherings with all at least monthly 🤦‍♀️
@Droiskyn that's what my friend said! There is a seated picnic table area outside the entrance which is glass to the inside but we also have a few relatives on both sides who have already said they'd prefer to be sat outside with the children having a picnic rather than sat inside with the rest of us (the big kids) 😂
In relation to the older children they pretty much all play football for hours at a time. Last weekend at a family wedding between hide and seek and football we barely saw them other than in the distance at the bottom of the garden

Wondering if best not to invite friends children and then up to our families if they are happy with this or not

But thank you for the opinions
@TheCurious0range appreciating the food choices! Luckily not even the adults are being offered this they are having a grazing board on their tables

OP posts:

SheridansPortSalut · 14/04/2025 20:19

11 and 12 year olds are too old for that.

user1492757084 · 15/04/2025 16:56

A children's table in the dining room, near to the tables where their parents sit is fun. (Kids aged 2 - 12, seat similar ages together) Drinks, decorations and food can be better suited. No nuts, a craft activity, soft drinks, more snacks, face masks, etc. I would also have a quiet corner with a few books, floormat and toys, out of the way where parents can retreat to feed a baby or calm a child..

High chairs for younger children could be at adults' tables.

MummaMummaMumma · 15/04/2025 16:59

No, I don't think is a good idea. What about the kids who don't want to go?
I wouldn't let me 4/5/6 year old go off unattended with kids.

slamdunk66 · 15/04/2025 17:14

I think one entertainer would’nt be enough. Who would monitor if they left the room etc? I would also worry about them running around. Is it working out much cheaper to do that if you’re feeding them anyway?

LittleBearPad · 15/04/2025 17:17

My children would have hated it. An entertainer for 12 year olds? Really.

Needspaceforlego · 15/04/2025 17:20

Op it's an idea but I don't think it will work that well.
Parents are not going to want kids eating without supervision with their good clothes on.
The kids will end up on parents knees.

How many kids do you have in total?

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