Guests at top table

Shallysally · 2025-04-02T09:42:00+00:00

Just thinking about this. My partner has both his parents so obviously they will be at the table with us. Both my parents have died. I’m thinking of asking my brother to give me away. His wife and children will be at the wedding too. What are others in the same situation planning please? Sorry, I know for some not having their parents is especially emotional when wedding planning [flowers]

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 02/04/2025 10:46

What age are the children my sister had a table just in front of the top table with the children from the wedding party on it, close enough that we could keep an eye on them. That way you could have your brother and wife on the top table.

Pancakeflipper · 02/04/2025 10:52

Could you have your brother, wife and children?
Or just your brother and bridesmaids.

Or as the earlier poster said can the children sit with other family members for the meal and your brother and wife be with you?

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 02/04/2025 11:07

Do you have any godparents?

Original poster

Shallysally · 02/04/2025 11:08

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 02/04/2025 10:46

What age are the children my sister had a table just in front of the top table with the children from the wedding party on it, close enough that we could keep an eye on them. That way you could have your brother and wife on the top table.

They are 14 and 11 so that would work. They could sit with other family.

OP posts:

Original poster

Shallysally · 02/04/2025 11:11

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 02/04/2025 11:07

Do you have any godparents?

My godmother died recently, I know this is bad but I can’t remember who my other godparents are. Pretty sure they are family members though.

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drivinmecrazy · 02/04/2025 11:32

Why do you want a ‘top table ‘?
its not compulsory.

we didn’t have one when we married yonks ago because I just didn’t like the concept of ‘them and us’.
so we had a seating plan that put those who would have been on the TT on different tables around the room.

our table as the B&G had our friends on it.

actually it worked out wonderfully because each table had an eclectic mix of people that maybe normally you’d have kept miles apart.

as a result, there was no hierarchy and therefore no issues.

try thinking outside the box.

our wedding 27 years ago went completely against the norm and is still talked about 😂

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 02/04/2025 11:36

We had a fair bit of complex family stuff at our wedding and decided not to have a traditional top table - DH, DD and I sat at the "top table" and everyone else sat in family/friend groups.

drivinmecrazy · 02/04/2025 11:45

gosh this is bring up so many lovely memories of our wedding so forgive me for my reminiscence.

we had hired a private venue but because my whole family amounted to a total of 8 people and DHs numbers were 70, we chose a really small ceremony with only 14 present.
then we had a beautiful lunch with the 14 before the afternoon reception when all of DHs relatives joined us for the more traditional ‘wedding breakfast’.
then in the evening we invited friends for the evening ‘do’ for a buffet and live music.

the whole day was so personalised for us and our circumstance.

at the time it was the most unconventional wedding most people had been to.

nowadays I’m suprised that top tables still exist 😂

BigDahliaFan · 02/04/2025 11:50

I think having your brother and wife on the top table is a lovely idea. The other idea is not to have a top table at all.

Original poster

Shallysally · 02/04/2025 14:15

I didn’t realise top tables aren’t so much of a thing now!

Like the idea of mixing up, we could have DP’s parents, my brother and wife and some friends at our table.

Would be nicer for DP’s son who will probably be his best man, he can sit with his wife and their toddler then.

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AnnaQuayInTheUk · 02/04/2025 14:17

We got married 31 years ago and didn't have a top table. as others have said, they are not compulsory.

Enko · 02/04/2025 14:19

You could do a sweetheart table. Basically a table for two. Bride and groom and everyone else is at different tables.

Personally I like the idea of the parenst and your brother and wife. At age 14 and 11 their children are fine to sit at a different t table

Sesame2011 · 02/04/2025 14:21

My top table was me, my wife, my wife's 2 parents, my wife's MOH and my MOH. So i only had 1 person at the top table whereas my wife had 3.

My mum has died, my dad wasn't invited and my siblings were sat with their children at a table just in front.

Looking back now, I wish we had done a sweetheart table where it was just me and my wife.

Nooa · 02/04/2025 14:23

Could you do three long banquet style tables, and you and DH sit right in the middle of the middle table. Then stick your nearest people around you. Numbers from each side don't have to 'match' and you will be right in the middle of everyone you love.

arsetambourine · 02/04/2025 14:24

We didn't have a top table either. Just mix it up if you prefer.

Original poster

Shallysally · 03/04/2025 09:42

Nooa · 02/04/2025 14:23

Could you do three long banquet style tables, and you and DH sit right in the middle of the middle table. Then stick your nearest people around you. Numbers from each side don't have to 'match' and you will be right in the middle of everyone you love.

Love this idea!

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BeaLola · 03/04/2025 10:03

We had all round tables at our reception - our "top table" was in the middle and had DH & myself, PIL, DF & DB (my Mum had died a month before) plus our Bestman and his partner

Excitedbride2b · 04/04/2025 12:18

I would have my brother. wife and kids at another table

asparagusfearne · 04/04/2025 17:37

We're having three long banquet tables, and I imagine DP and I will sit on the middle of one of outsides so we don't have our backs to anyone.
And who knows how we'll arrange everyone else!