Family and weddings!

[mummytooneLG]

I'm struggling with lots of different opinions from family members surrounding our wedding. I am known to people a people pleaser and battling with decisions based on other family members opinions...

We have 3 nieces, but unfortunately do not have a relationship with one of them, as they choose to distance themselves from the rest of the family. Long story short my other halves brother married and she doesn't get a long with anybody, so we rarely see them.

I have asked my other 2 nieces to be flower girls, we have a really close bond. However, my other half feels very strongly that we shouldn't ask the other niece as she doesn't really know who we are.

His mum and sisters feel that we should include all the nieces as this isn't fair, and part of me agrees, as the family dynamic isn't her fault. However, I am worried how she will be the morning of the wedding and even if she'll walk down the aisle, as she doesn't know us all enough.

My fiance thinks I'm being weak to include her just because of the opinions of his mum and sisters, but I don't want to hurt her feelings and it wouldn't affect my day to have her with us and feel like it would be a nice thing to do.

Not sure what's best and don't want to upset my fiance or my in laws.

Thanks for letting me rant x

She will feel even more pushed out if you don't include and that will validate how she feels. X

Presume she's only toddler age? Include her and have her as a flower girl, but if she's not happy on the day then she stays with her parents and doesn't do the getting ready/walking down the isle bit. But she is dressed like she is included.

Ask her for sure. She's a kid. Don't worry if she pulls out at any time - you have two others.
It teaches the other girls to be kind and inclusive too.

My God I would definitely ask all three. They're children.

I think leaving one girl out will be far more trouble than it's worth.

I think your mum and sisters are right you can't really have 2 and leave 1 out,it will be too awkward on the wedding day, ask and if the parents say no then that's fine isn't it?

His mum and sisters sorry,but they are still right.

It's your wedding. No one else really has an opinion except you and your DH

I'm also a people pleaser and did cave on inviting some family to my wedding. Which actually now was the best thing I did as it was the last time those great aunts and uncles were together before some passed away.
BUT personally I wouldn't ask a niece I had no relationship with to be flower girl. If you said about inviting her at all to the wedding, I'd say invite her but your bridal party is about those who are closest to you (or it was for me). I had a DH cousin as a flower girl but didn't have my cousins as we have a much closer relationship with DH cousin then mine (DH cousin was 4 and mine were between 4 and 7)

Edit to add: It didnt cause any issues. Everyone knew it was because we were closer to DH cousin then mine.

I would ask her. If she doesn't walk down the aisle, or her mum says no, it's not a big deal, but including her will be.