Am I being unreasonable? Advice needed!

[Rbee14]

Hi all, it’s my first time posting on here so thank you for taking the time to read - I am after some honest advice because personally I am at a loss!

im getting married in November 2025 and the hen do is in October. My sister is my MOH and she is in charge of organising the trip, including room allocations. She’s only 20 and is very new to a role like this so innocently, she paired me up with my mum to room share.
I feel like I can’t explain why but I always imagined that on my hen do I would share with either MOH or a bridesmaid as it’s just a vibe and the whole getting ready experience would be amazing. I told MOH this and she completely understood my POV. However, when she broke the news to my mum that I didn’t want to share a room with her, my mum kicked up a fuss, started crying and said she was no longer going to go on the hen do in that case.
now I feel guilty, frustrated and sad at what should be one of the happiest most exciting few months of my life in the build up to the wedding. I should also mention that previously my mum has had issue with the fact the my fiancé’s mum is included in the wedding planning as we are close. My mum thinks it should be a time for solely just me and her but I want to share my excitement and plans with as many people as possible!
All in all I just feel very deflated that throughout my wedding planning journey so far, it has been clouded by what my mum wants and not what I want.
i just need to know if I am being unreasonable by not wanting to share a room with my mum on my hen do or if anyone has had a similar experience and can offer any advice on how to manage the situation?
much appreciated 🙏🏼

I think it's fine to have a preference about who you'd rather share with, but once your mum had been told she was sharing with you, there was no way to let her down gently.

The build up to a wedding is often very stressful, especially if parents are involved.

It's perfectly reasonable not to want to share with your mum but equally I can see why your mum might be upset when she found out you didn't want to.

A more diplomatic solution might have been to make up a reason why all the rooms needed to be shuffled.

Personally I was very happy when my wedding was over because I was totally fed up with having to make decisions and balance egos.

Yanbu to not want to share with your mum but yabu to voice that once your mum knew rooms. I agree with pp that it should have been dealt with better.

Thanks for your advice guys, it’s difficult as with my sister being MOH, my mum is also helping her along with the planning and knows the ins and outs of the hen do including room allocations - I should have mentioned this. I agree it could have been approached differently 🙏🏼

Is too late to make an excuse, something along the lines of "x doesn't know many people so I thought it would be better if I shared with her"?

This could be doable - thank you!!

Your Mum is being a bit dramatic. I’m a Mum and Mil and would not expect nto share a room with my daughter and I don’t think I’d want to as I’d expect she’d be getting ready, having a few drinks etc. It’s your wedding OP and it’s up to you who you share with and who you include like your Mil. You will never please everyone. It’s a shame your Mum is upset but reassure yourself that she is being unreasonable and dramatic about it all.

Why are you bringing your mum on a boozy hen do weekend? Just have a dinner with her and keep the hen weekend for your friends who you are happy to share with.