So upset and not sure what to do TW illness

[MummytoaMiracle01]

Hi All .
Looking for some advice.
I get married in May. It was always going to be a casual laid back wedding (Registry Office and rugby club reception with about 150 people attending)

We've just been told that a very close family member of mine has a few months left to live. Obviously I'm devastated and it feels wrong to be planning a wedding celebration whilst this family member is dying . I have spoken to them and they've said if they are still here they would like to see us getting married . But we don't know if this will be possible (they may not be here which breaks my heart or might be too unwell) on the other hand they may still be here which I really hope for .

The money for everything is due in March . I don't know whether to:

A. Stick with the Registry office part then do something more low key like a meal with a handful of guests.
B . Cancel the whole thing
C. Carry on with the original plan
D. Postphone until next year

The person in question really doesn't want me to cancel or postphone and was furious at the thought , but if they pass before the wedding I'm really not going to feel like celebrating anyway . This person came wedding dress shopping with me and bought my wedding dress so at least will always be a part of it should we cancel or postphone 💔 I just feel wrong planning everything and getting excited . I don't want a hen do or anything now it feels wrong but not sure what to do . I just want them there

Don’t cancel or postpone. Knowing you are moving on with your life/settling down with the person you love will bring them so much joy.

A if it's someone you wouldn't be able to party if they were dying on the day.

But don't postpone it, you or your bride/groom might die before you get hitched it's important to get these things done

A friend of my daughter had his wedding when his mum was terminally ill and unable to attend the ceremony they went to visit in all their finery between the wedding and the reception. Very sad but they felt it was the right thing to do and I know they did it with her blessing.

Can you do A but bring it forward?

E. See if you can bring it forward.

Either go through with it as planned or bring it forward. Postponing it or making it smaller isn't going to make you miss them any less

A. But asap. If possible?

In this case I would bring forward the registry office wedding for them to attend if they are able, followed by an intimate lunch or dinner done beautifully.

Your rugby club reception can happen when it happens in May or whenever

I'm sorry you're in this situation OP.

I agree with PP's saying bring it forward and switch to something more low-key. Just close family. It's not what you planned, but everyone will understand and it will be a wonderful, meaningful day for you and your family to share in the midst of a terrible situation.

We are probably in a very similar situation (currently waiting for results but reality is very poor prognosis is the likely outcome)

Our current thinking is that we will explore having a small registry office wedding sooner rather than later so we know that person can be there - and then continue with our booked wedding celebration for the existing date with a celebrant to officiate.

There's no right or wrong, but these feels the best option for us.

Carry on. They want you to, your husband to be is presumably going to be your husband for the rest of your life, that’s important too- go declare that to everyone. This person probably wants more than anything to be there, moving the wedding would mean for sure they can’t so keep it and I hope they can.

Thanks all ..we've had a good chat and agreed to carry on as planned . Some very touching and good advice. Thanks again for your input xx