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Original poster

The party we never had!

31 replies

MumOfEmi · 07/09/2024 23:36

Hello! :)

We got married with DH in 2021. Initially we had planned a big (Greek!) wedding, we rescheduled and cancelled twice due to COVID and eventually we decided to downsize and just do it with close relatives only and our witnesses. Small ceremony, followed by dinner.

4 years on, with a daughter, we are thinking to host the party we never had in 2025! Is it unreasonable? Will people come? Most will have to fly from abroad to Greece, I wonder whether they will think it's worth it. How should we position the event? It will be a wedding celebration.. but also it won't be. More like a family celebration, since we now have a child. We don't want our guests to get the impression we do this to receive gifts (we don't expect gifts!).

Which elements of a wedding party should we keep/get rid of? Wedding dress yea or nei? Flower decorations? Dramatic couple entry? First dance?

Please help, it's just confusing! Any advice welcome!!

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Waiting4Autumm · 07/09/2024 23:39

Why would people need to fly to Greece is that where you live or the majority of your guests are?

I'd probably do an anniversary party and I wouldn't wear a wedding dress but just a really fabulous gown

Entry maybe....but realistically I think it would be a bit odd and would be better to welcome your guests

Flowers, not a bouquet

First dance yes why not

Original poster
MumOfEmi · 08/09/2024 07:44

Waiting4Autumm · 07/09/2024 23:39

Why would people need to fly to Greece is that where you live or the majority of your guests are?

I'd probably do an anniversary party and I wouldn't wear a wedding dress but just a really fabulous gown

Entry maybe....but realistically I think it would be a bit odd and would be better to welcome your guests

Flowers, not a bouquet

First dance yes why not

Thanks! It's where I am from and where the wedding was supposed to take place initially. Our friends live internationally, anyway (if we did the party where we currently live, they would still have to catch flights).

OP posts:
stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 07:46

In all honesty I wouldn't. You've had your wedding, the time to have done it would have been once the covid restrictions preventing it had lifted.

Galoop · 08/09/2024 07:54

It sounds fabulous OP, I'd do it. MN isn't the best place to ask as most people are miserable on here and hate weddings and parties - and people! If you're having it abroad not everyone will be able to come, but those who can will and I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time!

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 07:56

Galoop · 08/09/2024 07:54

It sounds fabulous OP, I'd do it. MN isn't the best place to ask as most people are miserable on here and hate weddings and parties - and people! If you're having it abroad not everyone will be able to come, but those who can will and I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time!

I love parties. OP asked if it was unreasonable and tbh I think it is.

piscofrisco · 08/09/2024 08:04

We didn't have the wedding we wanted either for different reasons, and ended up getting married on our own with two wittnesses. We are also thinking about doing this maybe on our anniversary but I have similar concerns.
I feel really sad that we didn't have a party but I worry that now two years will have passed and it will seem a bit....odd.

Overthebow · 08/09/2024 08:08

Do your friends have children now too? If so it will be harder for them now and they probably want a family holiday instead. If not and you think they’ll be fine with travelling then go for it! I wouldn’t do it as a ‘wedding’ though with wedding dress and entry, just a big party for friends and family.

SquatWeightaMinute · 08/09/2024 08:12

I love weddings but I don’t think I would spend a fortune and use up my annual leave for this, sorry that’s just my opinion.

if you think your family would, then do it anyway you want. Did you have them at your original wedding? If non of them got to attend then I would do it as a wwdding blessing, if they got to come to your original wedding and saw you marry then a more relaxed party in a fabulous dress but not a weddding dress.

Galoop · 08/09/2024 08:13

The only thing I would say is given you've already done all the wedding stuff and it was so long ago, I would probably find it a bit weird if you did it like a wefding again, so I'd maybe do a photo montage to some music before or after dinner and maybe a cake (like the one you had if it was nice) and keep it more just the party.

Galoop · 08/09/2024 08:14

Photo montage of the wedding pictures if that wasn't obvious 😅

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 08:32

Galoop · 08/09/2024 08:13

The only thing I would say is given you've already done all the wedding stuff and it was so long ago, I would probably find it a bit weird if you did it like a wefding again, so I'd maybe do a photo montage to some music before or after dinner and maybe a cake (like the one you had if it was nice) and keep it more just the party.

That would seem really random though. I think a big party fine! But keep it seperate to the wedding. Unless you plan it for your 10th anniversary maybe..

ayvasili · 08/09/2024 08:43

Here in Cyprus it is quite common for couples to do a registry office wedding (politiko)and then a few years do the big fat church wedding and party and invite all the friends and family even if they already have a child (or two). Nothing strange about that and most people would attend.
If your international friends did not get to celebrate with you the first time because it was an intimate affair, then why would they not want to see what a greek wedding looks like?
I say go for it...you can always put on it that you are looking forward to their presence not presents or somethibg if you want to underline the point

Galoop · 08/09/2024 08:53

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 08:32

That would seem really random though. I think a big party fine! But keep it seperate to the wedding. Unless you plan it for your 10th anniversary maybe..

Show quote history

I guess if it's meant to be the party that never happened the photos seem like a nice touch. But I agree much more is a bit strange. Although at the end of the day OP and her DH should just do what they want

Royalshyness · 08/09/2024 08:57

I think it’s unfair you didn’t get your say and only you know your own family

but four years on I think people might resent this invite and obligation for something that’s been and gone

so I would wait for a big birthday or milestone in your life

Plump82 · 08/09/2024 09:21

I wouldn't want to spend money and use my annual to travel to Greece for someone's party. We got married in 2020, we had a planned a small wedding (13 in total) anyway but had also thought we'd have a party with all our friends as and extended family. This obviously couldn't happen. We also never got a honeymoon so we're planning on going all out for our 10th anniversary but just for us two.

SBHon · 08/09/2024 09:28

I would come to a big party to celebrate your wedding, I wouldn’t if I had to travel to Greece for it.

Original poster
MumOfEmi · 08/09/2024 11:58

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 07:46

In all honesty I wouldn't. You've had your wedding, the time to have done it would have been once the covid restrictions preventing it had lifted.

Thanks - unfortunately personal circumstances including a pregnancy did not allow earlier planning.

OP posts:
needhelpwiththisplease · 08/09/2024 12:01

Sorry op but I would not waste my annual leave and the cost of my annual holiday, so I could go to your party in Greece.

Original poster
MumOfEmi · 08/09/2024 13:43

piscofrisco · 08/09/2024 08:04

We didn't have the wedding we wanted either for different reasons, and ended up getting married on our own with two wittnesses. We are also thinking about doing this maybe on our anniversary but I have similar concerns.
I feel really sad that we didn't have a party but I worry that now two years will have passed and it will seem a bit....odd.

I feel you! It's sad, isn't it? Especially when you have planned and dreamt everything! Anyway.. that's life. What are you thinking to do?

OP posts:
Original poster
MumOfEmi · 08/09/2024 13:50

SBHon · 08/09/2024 09:28

I would come to a big party to celebrate your wedding, I wouldn’t if I had to travel to Greece for it.

Thanks, our guests were pretty excited to attend a Greek party specifically, hence why we're keeping the destination. Most of my side of guests are Greece-based anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumOfEmi · 08/09/2024 13:53

Plump82 · 08/09/2024 09:21

I wouldn't want to spend money and use my annual to travel to Greece for someone's party. We got married in 2020, we had a planned a small wedding (13 in total) anyway but had also thought we'd have a party with all our friends as and extended family. This obviously couldn't happen. We also never got a honeymoon so we're planning on going all out for our 10th anniversary but just for us two.

Fair point. Like I said above, destination is a motivation for many guests (Greek island). But I agree, perhaps 4 years on it's no longer attractive to them. I just don't want to regret one day not doing it. We live far from our families and we don't get any opportunities to celebrate anything with them, so the wedding seemed top opportunity... at the most wrong time!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 11/09/2024 15:18

I absolutely would not fly to Greece just for a party.

Original poster
MumOfEmi · 11/09/2024 20:42

Toddlerteaplease · 11/09/2024 15:18

I absolutely would not fly to Greece just for a party.

You wouldn't take a 2-3 hour flight to be there at the celebration of the wedding and the daughter of a good friend of yours? Which was cancelled twice due to circumstances? And combine it with a nice holiday on the greek islands, if you can?

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 11/09/2024 20:45

To be honest. No, I wouldn't. The only person I'd have done that for would be my sister. I don't want to spend my hard earned money or annual leave, going to a place I have no desire to visit.

GinForBreakfast · 11/09/2024 20:54

Too much time has elapsed. I'm sorry for your ruined plans but you're not a "bride" anymore and the wedding-y elements to a party would be odd.

Maybe renew your vows at your 10 year anniversary, or just have a lovely holiday in Greece and see if family and friends want to join you.