Stressed being Maid of Honor

[FeralBeryl85]

I was asked to be MOH by my friend and I accepted but if I knew then what I know now it would have been a big fat no.

It was requested by the bride that we have an abroad hen weekend which was arranged in Barcelona, this was for the bridesmaids only. This has come and gone and was fine. However, she wanted a UK one for other people in the wedding party to attend so again this was arranged as a weekend city break, bridesmaids obviously attended this one as well. Now there is a third! A night out in our local town for those who couldn't afford or attend the weekend event.

As MOH am I expected to attend the third one? Frankly I'm mentally drained by all of this and can't really afford a third even if it is "just a night out".

All of this aside the general organising of all of this has been horrendous, people complaining about cost (rightfully so) and taking thier frustrations out on me. The brides mum has done nothing but patronise me throughout and I'm now just mentally done with it all.

Am I a bad MOH or do I just need to suck it up.

Noooo you are not a bad MOH and no you do not need to just suck it up! This bride is being a HUGE bridezilla and she will continue to be one if everyone keeps pandering to her and not protecting their own boundaries

Tell her you’re drained and you need to take a step back for your mental health. You can do this with love and compassion.

As for this third hen do, even if you’ve already helped plan it you can just say “really sorry but I can’t make this one, hope you all have fun and can’t wait to see you at the wedding” - you don’t need to give anyone an explanation. Not even the bride. But if you want to you can explain that you need to safeguard your sanity so you can continue to be a support to her when she REALLY needs it (she does not need a third hen party).

I could rant all day about how much I hate the culture of modern day hen parties 😂

Being a MOH seems to be a poisoned chalice these days.

Back in the day the bride organised her own hen do, which was usually a night out in the local town.

I would just duck out of the third hen do and say you can't attend. Perhaps the bride herself can organise it?

That is a LOT of hen parties!!! Jeepers!!
In my opinion you’re responsible for organising one hen party as MOH, job done.
Just gracefully decline and see if the other bridesmaids could plan this last single evening? Say your tired with other life stuff, but are really excited about the upcoming Wedding celebration xx

What a busy bride! Too busy for me, so I can totally understand not attending the ridiculously third hen party. It all sounds so tiring! Decline politely, but certainly decline. My personality is way too quiet to ever be this sort of bride.

You don't need to give excuses just that 2 is enough. I had two hen dos one where I lived another in my home town where we were getting married. This long weekend away or even longer is getting silly. Costs a fortune and going to places you never wanted to. Take time out for yourself.

Thank you for all your replies. You'll be pleased to know I've pulled out of the third hen party and feel so good for doing it:-)

You have done enough - if your friend wants yet another night out she can organise it herself.

Well done @FeralBeryl85

I don’t understand this new culture of creating a full time job for your maid of honour and expecting people to shell out tonnes of money. It’s very strange behaviour. It’s awful and tacky.

Neither do I. I mean what exactly do they have to do other than turn up on the day?