How much to give as gift to wedding we can't attend?

[Weddinggifthowmuch]

DH cousin is getting married later this month, but we can't go as I'm MOH and he's a groomsman at another wedding. We'll obviously send a card and some cash (that's what they've asked for) but we're not sure of how much to send.

B+G are both really well off, we very much are not (income of £2500 monthly, mortgage and nursery fees eating up £1300 of that each month) so I guess I'm worried about looking like a cheapskate 🫣

Is £40 enough?

What would you give?

Thats absolutly fine. I get married in 11 days and we have not asked anyone for anything. We are of the opinion that people will do as they choose. Personally we would rather that people attend and are fully aware you never know a persons circumstances.

To be honest I think it's more like £100 for a wedding these days.

Etiquette dictates that you buy a gift if you're invited to the wedding whether you attend or not.

£50 is a generous gift if you are not attending.

I'd send a bottle of champagne (less than £50) if I wasn't attending.

You're not even attending so £40 is a lovely present. I'd give it in vouchers I think, John Lewis or M&S or something just so it's more noticeable that you've given something rather than cash just put in the pot so to speak.

I’d never send a present to a wedding I wasn’t attending! Unless it was a very close friend or family member - for me this wouldn’t include cousins.

I can't choose either option.

I wouldn't send them money if I weren't able to attend.

£40 seems a lot of money for people that won't be there.
I would send them a card and wish them well.

Nothing. You're not going

If I wasn't attending, and the couple have asked for cash despite being comfortably off, I would enclose an afternoon tea or garden centre voucher in the card and comment that you hope when they take a bite of a scone or a look at a tulip they think of you, as you are sad you can't be with them on the day. I would spend £30 or so. If you can't attend,all expected gift amounts are null and void. They can always pass a voucher on if it doesn't suit their circumstances.

Thank you so much everyone, we've decided to go with a really nice bottle of wine for them to drink on their first anniversary (or whenever they fancy 😂)