Wedding Must Haves!

[TheGhostsOfMeAndYou]

As a guest, what makes the weddings you attend memorable?

I went to a very relaxed wedding with a buffet and lots of photo props and temp tattoos for the guests and it was so much fun.

We got married in 2015.
Whenever we talk about it with anyone else it's the food and music they talk about.

We had steak pie (so a bit more unusual) and a live band.

From friends weddings I remember:

• A string quartet that played geeky songs (Disney, LotR, Star Wars etc...)
• An ice cream van, particularly as it had mint chocolate chip

A sense that the wedding is an authentic representation of the couple and what they want. Not an attempt to 'keep up with the Jones's', look flash on Insta, please the bride's mother, avoid family feuds etc.

The only weddings I haven't enjoyed as a guest all left me with a sense that the couple would much rather have done something else.

Good food, personal touches and a massive ceilidh for me.

Wedding Must Haves!

Sorry, my first response was a bride (or two) and/or a groom (or two). 😆

I watched a YouTube clip today who said she did a first look photo … so the bride and groom get all the photos done before the ceremony.. so groom was more authentic in reaction . Meant they reunited with guests quicker

My friend is a wedding photographer.

He had a couple who had agreed to this but the bride had arranged for it to be the grooms best friend who had flown in from abroad for the wedding as a surprise. He was in a wedding dress and everything.

The photos were amazing!

Decent food options. The last one I went to was either a hotdog or a bacon butty, served at 10pm. We were there for the evening and by 10pm we were gnawing each others arms off! I get that the day guests had a massive sit down meal in the afternoon, but if you're doing evening guests only they need feeding!

Food. Plenty of it, served at appropriate times and with an appropriate amount.
There is nothing worse than stingy catering.

Then drinks, warmth or cooling, somewhere to sit. Reasonable costs! If you can’t afford it, you can’t have it.

If you are inviting people to your place, you are responsible for their comfort and safety.

I went to one where they had a child's entertainer who kept the children occupied for an hour or so, and then while the meal was being served he visited each table and did magic/slight of hand tricks. He was very clever and amusing.

Don't leave people standing around waiting for you. And feed people.

My BIL and his wife left us all immediately after the ceremony (hotel weddings) for THREE FUCKING HOURS while they fucked about on a beach having photos just the two of them. 🙄

No one knew where they'd gone. The bar was extortionate at around £10/pint. The buffet food was really late and nowhere near enough to go around. People were very drunk early on because they had nothing to do except stand at the bar while waiting for the couple to reappear.

Not a wedding I look back on fondly.

Otherwise keep it relaxed, don't get melted over the colour of the flowers or whether a child is wearing a white dress. Just have a laugh. As long as you get married, that's the point!

As a wedding/events manager, these are the things I would suggest:

• have the time between the ceremony and dinner as short as is possible for your venue (they may need to turn rooms around etc.) It's a great time for guests to chat and catch up but no one wants to be waiting hours! Make sure you choose a venue where the guests aren't crammed waiting at this time either.

• don't go away for a long time getting photos taken. Of course you want photos to look back on but you also want to be at your wedding. The drinks reception time before dinner is a really good opportunity to relax and mingle with your guests. Some photographers can be quite pushy about having you away for hours!

• canapés at the drinks reception always go down well. Guests have often missed lunch due to getting ready/travelling to the wedding.

• always have all speeches before dinner. Those doing speeches can then relax and enjoy their meal. I would always advise trying to keep speeches fairly short. Your guests, organisers and caterers will thank you!

• having a choice for dinner is good for your guests, if this is something your venue/caterer allows. Most will ask for numbers and choices in advance.

• make sure you have a good band/DJ in the evening, one who can read the room and get everyone involved. If you're looking for a party atmosphere this is important.

• listen to your coordinator, they have the experience and skills to advise you. Some couples have ideas about how they want things to run/set up/timings etc, and while any decent coordinator would work with them on this, most of the time they know what works well and what doesn't.

• decorations are a lovely way to personalise your wedding, however don't go mad stressing over these as no one notices the intricate details. Choose things which are the style you want but are also easy and simple to organise.

• guest menu choices on place cards are super helpful because everyone forgets what they ordered!

• if having favours, either food, drink or a charity donation are all I would do. Anything else just gets left.

Hope this helps, happy planning!

We made a playlist instead of having a DJ and got so many compliments on the music. We also had sharing platters so people would naturally talk to each other over the food. Good speeches and plenty of booze!

A family member got married recently. They chose a fairly pricey (yet relaxed) venue, she had her dream dress and 6 Bridesmaids, but the day was relaxed and fun. They made savings on a guitarist for the ceremony, photographer and DJ who were all friends of the couple, so everything felt so intimate and warm. Food and drink was great, jugs of Pimms doing the rounds. No sweet stand, Photo Booth, magician, band.

The ceremony - obviously, coz it's the important bit. (But no soppy readings please).
Don't spend ages having photos taken - 30 minutes, tops.
Decent food (no rubber chicken).
Decent bar.
If you insist on having an evening do, a separate quiet space with plenty of seats, so that people can talk.
Easy access to tea, coffee and water for the drivers.

When dd got married she had undercover singing waiters, I think they cost about £1200.
They helped serve food then burst into song, it was absolutely fabulous, everyone was out of their seats singing and dancing, they stayed all day and did a set at the night do.
Maybe not your cup of tea but it absolutely made everyone's day, I still watch the videos 😁

As a guest, what makes the weddings you attend memorable?

I mean, 'memorable' is not necessarily a good thing.

I remember the first wedding I ever went to, in 1978, there was a fight during the evening. I wouldn't say that was a must have.

I remember going to a wedding when I was pregnant 25 years ago, and people were starving. Invited to a ceremony at 12, in the middle of nowhere and we weren't fed until 6pm and then it was the tiniest potions of 'nouveau cuisine'.

So 2 of the most memorable wedding I went to were definitely NOT 'must haves'.

I terms of what makes a good wedding (as a guest)

• not too much waiting round
• Good food and enough of it
• A bar that you don't need to take out a mortgage for one drink
• don't start too early and expect people to be there until midnight
• a wedding that "is" the couple. I've really enjoyed a couple of quite unusual weddings that wouldn't have been my choice of 'do', but were so 'right' for that couple.
• Chance for guests to take some photos - not having the happy couple disappear off with the photographer for an hour, and no-one else being involved
• "entertainment" that is 'forced fun' is not generally popular. If there's not too much waiting around, then people don't need entertaining.
• Personally I like a Church service with some really good hymn, but I realise that isn't for most people
• Knowing the timetable of the day, beforehand so you can pack an appropriate number of snacks or a whole picnic to keep you going think about things like change of shoes
• Decent music, and a mix of music so all guests who want to can enjoy having a dance. Can be playlist or DJ, but not something niche because it is the groom's favourite weird genre