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10 replies

TheNeedyPoet · 08/07/2024 17:35

Hi,

Having initially wanted to elope, we are planning a small family wedding at home. Has anyone regretted a small wedding and missed important people?

We want only 15 for the ceremony and then 20 more for the rest of the day. We are thinking of an late morning ceremony and then food etc to about 10pm (we are introverts and don’t drink so don’t want a loud party type evening)

any thoughts please? Obviously a larger wedding would cost more but don’t want to regret anything in years to come

OP posts:
Whatevershallidowithmylife · 08/07/2024 17:45

Just had a small wedding which was 22. Originally was only going to be 4. So glad we made it a bit bigger. Some people were missed but did it the way we did for all the right reasons. Fabulous day.

TheFlis · 08/07/2024 17:48

That sounds like a long day for a small wedding. I would have the ceremony later.

Longdueachange · 08/07/2024 18:20

Depending on logistics, if your wedding is at 11, you'll do photos etc and then book a table for the 15 of you for say 1pm, then the party from 5pm. There might be a bit of waiting around, but if you had your meal in a pub, you could follow everything through and ask the pub to put on a buffet for you for the evening. 35 is a nice number for a decent party.

TheNeedyPoet · 08/07/2024 20:03

@Whatevershallidowithmylife that sounds just like what we hope for. Where did you get married?

OP posts:
TheNeedyPoet · 08/07/2024 20:04

@TheFlis so get married at say 2! Or if stay at 11 for ceremony would you finish earlier say 8pm please?

OP posts:
TheNeedyPoet · 08/07/2024 20:06

@Longdueachange our plan was to have the ceremony late morning then come home in a marquee for a catered meal, garden games and then as you say evening guests from 5. I don’t want people to be bored and waiting around though so might have a re think. Thanks for the comment :)

OP posts:
DD6798 · 08/07/2024 20:08

With a wedding that small I wouldn't have separate day/evening guests. I'd just keep it small.

We had 20 in total, registry office ceremony then we booked the private dining room of a local restaurant for lunch. After food people stayed for drinks but there were no fixed timings, people just left when they wanted to. We were home by 9.30 (got married at 12). It was perfect.

Ponderingwindow · 08/07/2024 20:15

We had just under 30 total. Our original plan had been 9, but we got talked into expanding a bit and inviting everyone to everything.

we just went short and sweet and I’m glad we did. Evening ceremony, nice dinner, everything done by 9:30.

if you are introverts, why are you planning such a long day? You don’t have to follow the wedding formula just because other people use that schedule.

FYI, if I were going to do it again and wanted a longer affair, I would do a board game reception after dinner. Sweet and savory snacks and cocktails and our collection of board games.

Longdueachange · 08/07/2024 21:14

TheNeedyPoet · 08/07/2024 20:06

@Longdueachange our plan was to have the ceremony late morning then come home in a marquee for a catered meal, garden games and then as you say evening guests from 5. I don’t want people to be bored and waiting around though so might have a re think. Thanks for the comment :)

I think it sounds lovely. If it flows on I don't think anyone would get bored. It just depends on the company, if you've got a group of family and friends who get on well, like mine, they'll rattle on and drink for hours! Even a basic family barbecues will start at 3ish and end at 10ish!

NewName24 · 08/07/2024 22:32

I think that is far too long.
If you don't want a 'party' then why have evening guests ?

I would have the ceremony at 11 if you wish, then, your meal by 1ish, and people will leave by about 5.

The last wedding I went to was at 2pm and people were flagging by 9 - 10. I think if you start at 11am, people will probably be ready for home by 5pm or maybe 6.

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