Hosting a small party after getting married

[HL94]

I recently got engaged, and we would like to get married in the next 2 years and we want it to be very low key and simple. We don’t have a big budget as we would rather use the money to go towards our first home and holidays.
Our plan was to get married at our local registry office and keep it really chilled, and only have family there. We then wanted to throw a party with friends and family after, though I am mindful as soon as you mention the word ‘wedding’ people charge so much more. We wanted quite a chills vibe, no seating plan, no speeches, no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Just a get together/party after, maybe some canapés/buffet or food truck. We want it to be as stress free and chilled as possible

I just have no idea if this is a good idea, or how I would organise this. I wondered if I rented a party house would be a good idea and then sorted catering/decorations out myself, or hiring a room somewhere. I did want it to feel special though. Any ideas or suggestions would be so welcome 😀

There are all sorts of rooms you can hire - social clubs, village halls, sports clubs etc, and can just book it as a family party - which it is.

If you rent a house, you are presumably then only able to invite a very small amount of people, presumably the people who were on the guest list for your wedding.

Are you planning to do something with the guests at the ceremony after that ?

Do you plan to have the party on the same day ?

We just got married at Gretna green we took my parents and mt
grandsd our kids and our best friends and had a long weekend in Gretna and then got married on a Friday afternoon we didn’t publicise it too much and 99% of people were happy when they realised we’d “eloped” and it was soooo much cheaper and we will have like a wedding party soon where we will invite our friends and family but it was the most
chilled out weekend of my life and I married y husband.. only
took 12 years and 4 kids between us lol, it was a nice chilled holiday for a few days the. We got married on the Friday afternoon home on the Saturday afternoon we had a meal at the hotel we were stopping at and they let us have a small room just for us to eat but it was the same menu as the hotel had for all the guests. Never imagined that would be my wedding but it’s the best choice we made!

Ah that’s a really helpful point. Saying it’s a party for family and friends isn’t a lie after all. I was thinking if I rented a big house, ones which are usually advertised as being ‘stag &hen friendly’ then I could host a party/get totgether there, though there wouldn’t be room for everyone to stay over.

my thinking was we would get married in a registry office and then go to the venue after and people family from the reception are welcome to join

We had a very small wedding earlier this year for immediate family. We had the ceremony and a meal and then hired a small bar for the evening, threw some money behind the bar and invited close friends to celebrate.
We then threw a bigger party about 6 weeks later and just hired a hall and a pizza truck. Hall was about £200z Did our own food, music and decorations and got a cake. It was very relaxed and we had a great night.

We're currently considering something similar. Our two thoughts are:
Registry office on a Thursday with close family and 2 friends each (close family is massive and would fill the registry office).
No food after, go for a couple of cocktails somewhere, say goodbye and off we pop
Then on the Saturday hire the local youth hostel/ large house, have a BYOB party, with a food truck and band.

Pros for this are:
Feels something different and 'us', having it a few days later means we can set up the place together, house has a fantastic atmosphere and is very central, out of towners have a bed for the night. Custom to literally whatever we want.
Cons: costs. Feels like it should be lower, but £1500 hire for house, decorations are completely from scratch, cost of laying out basic/ soft drinks and prob mixers, some beer. No one to lead the day, all on you. The worry of damages. Knowing where to start!

The other option is registry office on a Saturday, followed by a room in a local quirky pub with food for those guests for a couple of hours, maybe a band. Evening would be to a local rugby club/ different pub room with more space for a more traditional budget reception, buffet and a DJ.

Pros are: better value, feels more like a traditional day, some nice aspects to it, less pressure on us, no sorting of stuff like food/ drinks.
Cons: feels a bit less personal, like we're prioritising budget over what we would like. Bit of a rush trying to do the organising of everything at the same time as getting ready for the day. All over in one day too 😁