Getting married next week - tips on how to not shake!

[pandapanda67]

Im getting married next week. Im so nervous (being centre of attention - delighted to be marrying my man!) and when I'm nervous I visibly shake. It's embarrassing. I'm worried I'll do this when exchanging vows. Any tips?

I don't like being the centre of attention either but was surprisingly fine in our Wedding Day. It did help that we had a fairly short day and not a huge amount of people.

I'm sure you'll get fine OP

Congratulations! I shook all morning and throughout the ceremony. For the latter I just hung tightly on to both DH's hands. Assuming everyone at the wedding is someone who knows and loves you, nobody will care.

Release it through box breathing. Harness it as your body preparing your for a challenge. Reframe it as excitement.

If you try and suppress it it'll just make it even worse.

I think I will be super nervous at that time too.

All this. Breathing does really help.

Do you have a bouquet? Tightly arranged and big so it won't show.

Definitely practice some breathing exercises.
They really will help

I gave a speech at a wedding on Saturday and shook so badly that I've now ordered some propranolol online for my own wedding in August

Thank you everyone, im glad it's not just me! Ive never seen anyone shake at a wedding, it's so embarrassing. Do you think propropanol will help? I don't want to be knocked out. I thought about having a very stiff drink beforehand...

Your GP might prescribe something to stop the shaking.

I used rescue remedy and propranolol that I have for anxiety. Propranolol does not make you feel sleepy or knocked out it just stops the physical signs of anxiety like shaking. It lowers your blood pressure.

Deep breathing will definitely help - I wouldn’t recommend drugs if you’re not used to them. As you say you don’t want to get knocked out. Also a little lavender oil is also a natural sedative and relaxant that will help. Everyone at your wedding is there to love you and support you so do not worry about their reactions.

I didn't shake at my first wedding, the marriage lasted less than 2 years. I shook wildly at my second wedding.

I take it as a sign of the difference between them. At the second one I was SO nervous because it was SO important because I was doing exactly the right thing. The first one, not so much.

Don't be embarrassed to be nervous for one of the biggest days and decisions of your life!

My dad and I were left alone in the house, both shaking. He poured us both a large brandy just before we left. We knocked them back and both floated down the aisle. 😂

Thank goodness brides don't have to make speeches which are after the quaffing of alcohol

I wouldn't advise drugs if you haven't had them before as you don't know how they will affect you.

A glass of champagne before you walk down the aisle will help, but I'm guessing you will be concentrating on getting your vows done and listening to the officient that you will forget your nerves. Hold your DH hand for support as well. The service will fly by.

A glass of wine.

A glass of champagne beforehand won't go a miss

Maybe dig down in to why you feel so nervous?

Your family and friends are turning up for you both. All of your guests wish you well and are willing you on and are enjoying your happiness. They understand you will
be a little nervous.

I get not liking being the centre of attention but try and think of all the people who have travelled to see you, who want the very best for you and your future husband. Then try and use that feeling of goodwill to project you down the aisle.

And remember that most people in the congregation will have their own insecurities and will be thinking about their slightly too tight waistband or whether they turned the iron off before they left.

Good luck op. Remember to breathe and enjoy the moment. It will go splendidly! 💐

I sobbed all through my wedding to DH! They had to keep stopping to give me tissues! It was fine and is now part of the story of our wedding day. DH also cried which is very unlike him.

Try not to worry about it, no one will care if you are shaking!

Thank you everyone! Its so annoying as I'm now nervous about being nervous! I'll definitely have a glass or several before going down the aisle. Just not sure it will cut it? I really do shake very visibly when nervous. I think otherwise im quite good at pretending to not be nervous but its such a giveaway

Do you not think that getting drunk in advance might spoil the day more than normal and natural nerves?

Have you actually tried breathing exercises before deciding you want drugs or alcohol to try and suppress a natural response to an exciting day?

Other people won't notice it as much as you. The more you try and suppress it the worse it will be.

Don't worry about shaking - it is natural and adorable at weddings

Make a joke of it if you are embarrassed ( own it)

Legally being under the influence could make the marriage illegal apparently

I remember my knees really shaking at my wedding despite a glass of champagne. Luckily no one could see because of my big white dress!
Have a fab day OP!!

I'm a marriage celebrant. Lots of people are nervous but once you get into the ceremony you will relax into it.
Your guests are there to love and support you. You're not putting on a show for them and don't need to perform. You are 'merely' committing to your other half with your loved ones as witnesses. Listen to the celebrant, repeat the words to your partner and enjoy it because it will be over before you know it.
When I turn my couples to face each other I take the brides flowers and place on desk, or pass to mum or bridesmaid, and ask the couple to hold hands. It helps ground you both.
Have a glass of champagne beforehand if it'll help you relax but don't get tipsy!
You'll be absolutely fine, I promise. And as a previous person said the nerves are good. I think they show you take the commitment seriously and I'm far less concerned by nervous couples than flippant ones!

Thank you everyone. I'd much rather not take anything of course. I have tried breathing techniques but honestly in moments of high nerves they don't seem to work. If this was just minor shakes i wouldn't mind as it's natural, but my legs properly shake. People have commented/ laughed about it before :(. And I'm wearing quite a fitted dress, so definitely won't conceal anything. Anyway it's probably a bit late to try anything new, so a glass of bubbly will have to suffice (don't worry I definitely won't be getting drunk!) @NCfor24 thank you that's really helpful