TTC and wanting to avoid being due around my friends wedding.

[OchreBird]

Hi everyone!

This is my first post on mumsnet :) This post is asking advice on planning conception to avoid the chance of going into labour on a specific date (in this case, my friends wedding)

Context:

By husband and I are currently trying to concieve for our first baby, so far we've been trying for 3 months (actively monitoring ovulation with OPK's and BBT each cycle). Unfortunately I had a false positive my first cycle trying, and no luck since either, my cycle is also really long (42 days) which means in the span of a year I have lower than average opportunities to concieve, additionally I have read in some places that having a longer cycle could be indicative of other issues.

I'm trying not to worry so early on, but I am trying to plan ahead.

My best friend is getting married in April 2026, I am a bridesmaid and my husband is a groomsman. I had really been hoping that by that stage we will have had baby for a few months and would be able to have my mum look after them for the weekend. The wedding is 5+ hours drive away from where we live so would need to be an overnight trip, either one or two nights.

Since we are both in the wedding party, and they are our best friends, I really don't want to miss it as they are very important to us and we want to be there for them on their big day.

Question:

If we are unfortunately still TTC next year, when do you think would be best to put it on pause and how long for? I'm 99% sure that me being heavily pregnant at the wedding wouldn't be a problem for my friends, but I would want to make sure there's no chance of me going into labour during the wedding weekend, it's a risk I don't really want to take since we'd be so far away from my support network with the wedding being 5 hours away (in addition to the obvious reason of not wanting to draw attention away from my bestie on her big day).

If we are still TTC next year, do you think taking a break from June-August next year would be long enough to avoid this possibility, or would a longer break be needed to account for early or late labours? I'm still really hoping I'll be pregnant by then but I am aware that it might take longer than a year from this point to concieve so I'm trying to plan for every eventuality :)

I fell pregnant with my first baby in July and she was born mid April. With my second, I was pregnant in June and gave birth early March.
Before both pregnancies I was very uncomfortable and just had enough really. I was exhausted and achy.
After my second pregnancy I was quite unwell and didn’t start to feel myself until end of May.

Personally I wouldn’t stop ttc and would continue on but if you’re concerned then yeah I would probably stop ttc from very early June to August .

How old are you?

I’m currently 26, would be 27 at the point where I’d be considering taking a break :)

thank you that’s really helpful :)

I think I would like to take a break because I would feel super guilty if I wasn’t able to attend (and my extension my husband) since we’re both in the wedding party and looking forwards to it, I definitely wouldn’t want to stop for long enough to make sure I’m not pregnant at the wedding, just maybe 2-3 months to make sure I’m not risking going into labour at the wedding :)

fingers crossed it won’t come to that though and hopefully I will get pregnant in the next few months, I’m just a little bit concerned that the length of my cycles, OPKs (LH peaks are very low), and the fact I’ve always had very painful periods (went on BC very young to lessen the pain) could be signs of something deeper going on, but I live in the UK and my doctor said they won’t even consider looking at fertility testing until you’ve been TTC for 2 years so I’d need to save up myself for it for a while before I can investigate

There’s the other side of if you’re in the first trimester then you may also feel pretty lousy with morning sickness but again I wouldn’t let this stop me ttc.

I live in Scotland. It took me years to have my first child. I spoke to my gp who said it’s more common to fall pregnant in your second year of ttc than your first. They also wouldn’t refer for fertility treatment until 2 years but there was an option to pay and do some private testing so I would at least know if there was an issue.

I think your June-August break next year sounds fine. If it helps, it’s very likely you’ll be pregnant by then! Long cycles themselves are nothing to worry about necessarily and I also had low LH peaks and am now pregnant.

Worth mentioning that NICE guidelines say that fertility investigations should be offered after one year, so if it comes to that ask to see a different GP who should get your bloods done and refer you to an infertility clinic. If you don’t want to wait that long, I’ve heard good things about the hertility kits.

I spoke to my gp who said it’s more common to fall pregnant in your second year of ttc than your first.

No it’s not, sorry to pick up on this I just think it’s really important women are aware of the fertility facts so they can take some control of the situation.

Statistics vary slightly but a rough guide is 75% of couples will be pregnant by 6 months, 90% by 12 months and 95% by two years. Most couples get pregnant within 6 months and the vast majority by a year.

That means if you haven’t conceived after a year there’s a 50% chance of conceiving in the following year, but after that the chances drop significantly, so it’s definitely worth getting the investigations done if it comes to that, but for now your chances are good.