Bridesmaids..is 6 too many

[ThatTipsyPoster]

I am having such trouble picking bridesmaids. I really want to have 5 as my fiance is having 5 groomsmen and I am happy with my 5 that I have picked but I have another very close friend that I am maybe just not quite as close to as the others I have picked. I am hoping she will be ok with it but I am so scared of hurting her feelings and I would rather just ask her than have our friendship be affected. What do you think you would do? There is the cost as well as feeling that the pictures may look ridiculous. I was planning to say to her before that I would love to have her if I could’ve had more bridesmaids but I just couldn’t pick another but is that making it worse? I am really stuck 😩

My niece had 14! Bridesmaids, so I’d say 6 is fine 🤪

She did stipulate that they all paid for their dresses and shoes etc. They looked lovely, each in matching midi dresses from Miss Selfridge at approximately £60 each, 😬

It seems a bit silly. Can't you just have 2 and get the others to do other bits?

It's okay but it is reminiscent of those massive American weddings! If it's what you want, go for it.

If you're having 5, one more makes no difference

How many guests are you having? What is your budget?

For this reason I had family only. Couldn’t possibly have chosen between friends.

But I’d say include her. Six or five, doesn’t make any difference and it sounds like it’ll make you both happy!

We are having around 100 so it’s a relatively small wedding

I know someone who had 36 I think it was - made the local news she wanted to make a point her man was off the market ... guess what she is divorced - he didn’t get the memo .

for me have the people that are important to you in the bridal party . Make it personal . Mostly it’s for you and your family , friends to enjoy your day

Can bridesmaid no 6 do a reading instead?

Are you getting married in St Pauls? Can you afford everything for that many? Dresses, shoes, hair, make-up etc. Is your DH paying to hire all the groomsmen suits?
Personally, it looks the opposite of classy having that many! Could any be ushers instead? Obviously your choice OP.

The number is irrelevant, you should just ask the people who you want to be your bridesmaids, whether that is 5 or 6.

I'm in a similar scenario where I was a bridesmaid for a friend when she got married a few years ago at the time we were very close. We are still friends, but not as close so she won't be bridesmaid at mine and I'm only having my sister and close friends

There is the cost element to consider too, i don't think it's essential to pay hair and makeup for each bridesmaid, but you should at minimum be paying for the cost of the bridesmaid dresses.

This. It's a bit like saying "I have 5 kids, should we have a 6th?". It makes little difference to the expense, craziness, sized-up transport etc.

FWIW I would keep it at 1 or 2 and ask stbDH to do the same, especially as you only have 100 guests. With your numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen and once both sets of parents are added, your wedding party forms 15% of the attendees (assuming the 100 doesn't include yourselves and you don't also have DCs or step parents to add to the wedding party, in which case the %age is even higher!). This seems very unbalanced. Put the money you save on suits and bridesmaids dresses behind the bar for all to benefit from.

I'd say yes but agree if you're already having five it probably won't matter much.

I just went to a lovely wedding that had six bridesmaids . It did give the ceremony a feel of a school play though with too many people on stage because everyone has a part.
Also as they were all friends and a similar age the whole wedding party felt a bit cliquey at times.

It terms of upsetting people she'll know you have to draw the line somewhere. You could literally say you would have loved to have six but could only have five to match the grooms side.

I’d say if you’re having five anyway, just have six. If you do go for five, don’t ask her to do a reading or anything, it’s so obviously just a way to say “you didn’t make the cut”.

An odd number looks better.

Groomsmen is American, isn't it?

Tbh, I think 5 on either side is a lot, especially at a small wedding. But equally, sometimes the potential drama it could cause to leave someone out is just not worth the hassle.

Have less, or have six. Saves hurting anyone. Doesn't matter the number of groomsmen.

2 bridesmaids and one best man plus a couple of others to help hand out the orders of service is plenty, any more looks pretty silly unless they are children/relatives. Who has 5 groomsmen which is an American import to start with.

Don’t compare to the number of groomsmen, nobody will care about that. Only have people as your bridesmaids if you genuinely want them to be part of your special day, to be getting ready with you in the morning, to be helping organise your hen do, to be in all the photos. They have a job to do and you have to be able to rely on them to make your day as stress free as possible.

My wedding was smaller than yours (60) - DH had no groomsmen (not even a best man) and I had 1 MOH, 2 bridesmaids and 1 flower girl (my niece, MOH’s daughter).

Research the costs involved - if you want more people, think about whether you can afford to have them all looking the same. Factor in the cost of dresses, shoes, hair, make up etc. For mine, I paid for dresses and hair, and they got their own shoes and did their own makeup (me paying for their makeup would have been another £50 each).

So, ultimately it’s up to you, but be sensible.

Oh and one more tip: unless you already have, don’t ask them too early in the planning process - you never know what will happen and you might need to be flexible, especially considering you both want so many people. People behave weirdly around weddings and you might find it a lot less stressful to wait until you’re a few of months out before finalising the wedding party.

It’s your wedding, do whatever the heck
you fancy!

Sorry another thing to consider! Think about where you’re getting ready - I was going to get ready in a hotel then realised there wouldn’t be a space big enough for us all to get ready together unless I paid out for a huge suite, so another cost to factor in. So in the end everyone stayed at my house and we got ready there - paying for transport from ours was cheaper than paying for the hotel room. More bridal party members = more space required, more transport required, more hotel rooms possibly, etc.

Depends who is paying for their outfits. If you can afford six dresses then go for it.

I am thinking now I may just have 3, my childhood best friend and sisters and then my other friends won’t be offended as my childhood friend is not connected to the rest if that makes sense. Thanks for all advice

Sounds like an excellent plan!