No bridesmaids

[Pollypocket09]

My partner and I got engaged at Christmas but haven't set a date yet. I don't want any bridesmaids but my h2b wants to include his step daughter from his first marriage (he doesn't have children).
I will ask my son to walk me down the isle as my dad passed away over 13 years ago.
I don't really get along with his stepdaughter. I have tried so hard but she just gets jealous of the us. She constantly has to tell us how long she has know him in a way that screams "I know more about him than you do" and tries to over talk us when we are having a conversation. I try to make conversation but I either get ignored to get a yes or no answer.
How can she be included in the wedding if she's not a bridesmaid? She's 16.

Could she do a reading?

Yup I’d try and involve her in the wedding in some way. But it’s fine to not have her as a bridesmaid.
Especially if you don’t want bridesmaids. Which is fine.

Have you told your partner that you don't want her as a bridesmaid? Of course you don't, and you're perfectly entitled to feel that way. Your partner needs to respect the fact that you do not share the affection he has for her and you never will. If he is willing to put her first, over your reasonable objections, there's trouble already.

He can find her a part in the wedding but she doesn't need to be your bridesmaid.

Does he see her as his daughter?
How long was he with her mother for, how long had they been separated when he met you? It sounds as if she is worried that you will displace her.
As for ways to include her, she could take the role of Best Man for DH, or ring bearer or usher. Does she need an actual role other than guest?

She stops over 1 night a week but spends her time in her room. He was with her mum for 12 years they were seperated for a year before we met. She still sees her biological dad every week as well. He knows my feelings about not wanting a bridesmaid and he respects that but doesn't want her to feel left out.
We try to include with what we do with my son but then gets jealous when we do things without her : we took her to see a comedian my son is too young so he stayed with his dad the following weekend we took my son to see a show she couldn't come as she had a dance show but she got jealous over that saying I didn't want her there.

Oh dear, although she's 16, she's a confused child who is hurting.
Good to see she sees her own father regularly too, that will keep things a bit more normal for her.
But it's not really appropriate for her to be your bridesmaid - if you were to have any, they would be there to support you, not the other way around. If DH want to give her a special role, she could walk him down the aisle?