Hi , we are a couple in the early 40s together 5 years a child together kids from previous relationships, all ok in the family front etc . I love him to bits and 100. % want to get married . The issue is we are polar opposites when it comes to socialising, he loves attention and lots of people ( grew up is a massive family and loves chaos ) , really feels our loved ones siblings and parents on both sides want to be a part of our day , while I just wanted to have a holiday of a lifetime take all the kids and get married away from the rest of the family .
After pressure mostly from him and my family ( parents and siblings ) we decided to get married in our home country and while the idea of the wedding is a nice one , the venue is amazing the food is great etc , I’m so out of my comfort zone I feel my anxiety is through the roof .
we are a busy family both have full time jobs , mine with a lot of added responsibilities , 3 living at home kids and 2 that visit often , the guest list went from 60 to over 100 , I’m on a diet as I feel so much pressure to look good , although it’s not my ideal wedding I’m a perfectionist and have ADHD so simply switching off is impossible and if I’m organising something it needs to be good .
On my bad days I keep thinking all will go wrong and kids will all misbehave or get sick and I will be super disappointed that we spend so much time and money and sacrifices this what’s holiday .
Part of me wishes I never agreed to a big wedding and , the other part I loves to see how excited all our families are and love to see him and the kids super happy and excited and looking forward .
pleasee don’t reply things as just cancel the wedding as there is to much time and money invested and I very one is so excited I couldn’t do it .
I guess what I want you know is if everyone else feels so overwhelmed and anxious . Or am o such a weirdo for not loving to plan my wedding .
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I feel I should be more excited. Am I a total freak ?
Anonymous2025 · 22/03/2024 12:27
something2say · 22/03/2024 12:32
You're not a massive weirdo no, aww bless you!! I feel the same, it all sounds so stressful. Just take care and delegate and remember.....they all just want to shed a tear watching you and he vow to love one another till the end xxx
chloe5194 · 22/03/2024 12:40
I'm in a very very similar boat!
Get married next Sunday, and I'm dreading it. Not actually getting married of course, I can't wait. But he's invited so many people. I hate being centre of attention.
Out of our 10 tables (of 10) 3 are my guests, the rest are his!
We've got a 6yo who will be no bother but after booking the wedding we now have a 5 month old, and I'm just constantly thinking about timings of naps/bottles etc to try and limit the level of disruption.
I wanted to just have a very very small wedding with a get together after but I lost the battle.
I think everyone else is more excited than me!
I'm sure all will be fine on the day though and even if the baby is disruptive I'm sure it'll just add to it bizarrely!
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