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Original poster

Unreasonable or not?

23 replies

Excitedbride2b · 16/02/2024 19:52

Hi everyone

Guess I'm just looking for people's opinions. We went to a wedding recently where most of the male guests wore jeans and a shirt and jacket. The bride wasn't happy with this. My fiance has now decided he doesn't want people to wear jeans to our wedding, (evening okay, just not day). I don't really like the idea of people wearing jeans but I don't feel we can dictate this to people. He feels we can as some people do have dress codes. What are your thoughts please?

OP posts:
Scarletttulips · 16/02/2024 19:54

I think if it’s no jeans then you need to be upfront early on.

Unfortunatley with a lot of jobs being dress down, people just don’t own suits!

Be prepared for some people to opt out.

Persoannly I want my friends and family there - whatever they wear.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 16/02/2024 19:55

It's your wedding. You can state no jeans. Depends on the venue and your guests whether people will stick to this.

Original poster
Excitedbride2b · 16/02/2024 19:55

Thankyou. Me too. I'm not a huge fan of jeans and would prefer trousers but I'd rather have my guests there than not at all

OP posts:
KatesLipGloss · 16/02/2024 19:58

I think most men would wear a suit to a wedding, or if they really didn't own one at all (and could not borrow one) then chinos and something smart on top (probably jacket)

Jeans is very informal, and I don't think people would default to them unless they were specifically told it was OK

YireosDodeAver · 16/02/2024 19:59

You can put "dress code: no jeans" on the invitations but you have to then accept that some people who dislike more formal events or can't afford to fork out for posher clothes and also do a wedding gift, travel etc, will decline the invitation.

Collywobblewobbles · 16/02/2024 19:59

Absolutely you can dictate dress codes

WaitingfortheTardis · 16/02/2024 20:04

Our wedding was relaxed, but still jeans for a wedding sounds awful. I also really dislike the jeans and jacket look. I think most people won't mind a dress code that is no jeans, they can always wear chinos or similar if they don't have a full suit. I think it is surprising that so many people thought jeans would be acceptable, I find it quite rude.

OhMyChickenDinner · 16/02/2024 20:56

A pair of chinos is £20 in Next, would people really refuse to come to a wedding that is no jeans? Perfectly reasonable request I’d say.

weddingwaiting · 17/02/2024 19:36

I completely agree it is rude to wear jeans to a wedding. People know it’s not appropriate surely? Which makes it feel like a slight, like they can’t be bothered.

My never-dress-up, lives-in-walking-gear future FIL has bought a 3 piece suit for our wedding. Because he cares to make an effort.

There is absolutely no way I would allow my FH to attend a wedding in jeans. I would find it absolutely mortifying.

weddingwaiting · 17/02/2024 19:37

@WaitingfortheTardis indeed - the thing I find weird about stating “no jeans” on a wedding invitation is that you would think it would be obvious??

HouseNoMore · 17/02/2024 19:40

I go to 50+ weddings a year for work and can't think of a time I've seen a day guest in jeans, apart from one wedding where the groom and groomsmen were too so it was obviously in the dress code.

I wouldn't worry about it too much but put a 'formal dress code' on the invite and that should suffice

CCLCECSC · 17/02/2024 19:54

It's your wedding; if you want guests to wear something specific or vice versa state it clearly on their invitation.

Personally weddings are an opportunity to dress up so I would state no jeans.

79redballoons · 17/02/2024 20:57

Maybe I'm out of touch but I'd have thought that 'no jeans' shouldn't need stating for a wedding! Our wedding was on the casual side but no one wore jeans. That was 10 years ago though so maybe times have changed, I haven't been to a wedding since pre covid.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/02/2024 21:01

Surely it's obvious no jeans for a wedding ?

Doesn't have to be a tuxedo

But a pair of chinos /smart trousers if no suit is fine

Same for ladies. Linen /nice trousers or a dress /skirt

TheSandgroper · 27/02/2024 01:58

Team groom here.

It’s so often that we hear of the bride’s dream of a wedding. I think it’s lovely that this groom has been imagining how his wedding will look.

GetWhatYouWant · 27/02/2024 02:12

I'm honestly shocked that people would think it's acceptable to wear jeans to a wedding, unless casual dress had specifically been stated on the invitation. Weddings are formal occasions where wedding attire is expected. Obviously if the bridal couple want the men to wear tails then that should be stated on the invitation, but I would have thought that for a wedding all men would naturally wear a lounge suit. My son got married just over a year ago and although no dress code was on the invitation every single man turned up in a suit and tie, as I would have expected. If you are worried then I think it's fine to put a dress code on the invitation but as you presumably know the people coming you would know whether they were the type of skanky person who would turn up in jeans.

WandaWonder · 27/02/2024 02:14

I did not care or remeber what people wore to our wedding except the main people, if they were comfortable that was all I cared about

of all things that should or could happen at a wedding to me who wears what is not one of them I worry about

fleur89 · 27/02/2024 02:17

Jeans at a wedding = absolute no go. Surely this is common knowledge

novocaine4thesoul · 27/02/2024 02:28

I think I would just be happy if they were there. You can say anything you want on your invite, maybe "smart casual" if you wish, or "formal dress" if you want. It is probably for the photos rather than your experience on the day. Personally, I would find it a bit odd to have a dress code unless there was a very specific reason. I would probably take "smart casual" as a helpful bit of advice for some weddings (it screams, no jeans, joggers or shorts) but I would find it a bit weird that someone has to specify. HTH xx

weddingwaiting · 27/02/2024 07:12

@novocaine4thesoul disagree - I think smart casual could easily include a pair of non-ripped, non-faded jeans!

NewName24 · 01/03/2024 20:42

I'm surprised at this. Never seen people not dress up for a wedding.
None of my dc (or any of the cousins, and thinking about it, nor their friends) work in jobs where they have to wear a suit for work, but they all dress up for a wedding.
But yes, you can put on the invitation 'lounge suits' or 'no jeans' or 'formal dress' or whatever if you think your family and friends would need telling.
That isn't really dictating that they need to wear a specific colour or anything that people should even need to be told.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/03/2024 20:45

79redballoons · 17/02/2024 20:57

Maybe I'm out of touch but I'd have thought that 'no jeans' shouldn't need stating for a wedding! Our wedding was on the casual side but no one wore jeans. That was 10 years ago though so maybe times have changed, I haven't been to a wedding since pre covid.

I agree!

Strangely, I was having a conversation earlier today about a friends EXH who had worn jeans to a wedding. The wedding was at least a decade ago. Even now, we were saying "Jeans! Boot cut jeans! At a wedding!"

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 01/03/2024 21:18

No one wore jeans to my wedding.

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