Help me decide when to get married!?

[birdyblue12]

Hi there,

Very long story short - our wedding has been fully planned and is booked for August 2025. Invitations have been sent and about £5k in deposits paid. It’s a destination wedding but still in the UK, just the other side of the UK to where we live, so requires our guests to travel.

Imagine my surprise when I discover that I am in fact pregnant with our second, and due just 2 days before our wedding date. Don’t get me wrong - we’re very excited about the new addition! However of course this means that we are having to postpone our wedding until 2025.

The venue has kindly said that they are happy to transfer our wedding to a 2025 date of our choosing. Which brings me to my question. Should we:

A) get married on the same August bank holiday weekend, just in 2025.
⁃ £700 odd more expensive than Aug 2024
⁃ During summer holidays so teacher friends and any children won’t have to miss school
⁃ More expensive weekend for guests travel due to bank holiday
⁃ Guests only need 1 day annual leave
⁃ Baby will be one year old (very manageable)
⁃ More time to lose the baby weight
⁃ 2 weeks before my best friends wedding, worried about potentially stealing her thunder?

B) Get married at the end of May
⁃ half term so no issue for teacher friends and kids
⁃ Marginally cheaper than August
⁃ More likely to be a bit chilly
⁃ Baby will be 9 months
⁃ Guests will need 2 days annual leave
⁃ No risk of stealing besties wedding fun
⁃ Less time to lose baby weight
⁃ Don’t have to wait so long to get married - we’re very excited!

Now I know it’s ultimately whatever we want and what feels right, but I’m curious to know what others would do in this situation taking the pros and cons into consideration!

Thank you in advance😊

Sorry - the above should read that our wedding is currently booked for 2024! Wrote in a rush lol

Congrats OP! May often ends up having better weather than August, but suppose it depends where in the UK it is. Not sure I'd want to move it so close to a friend's wedding either, so I'd probably go may

Isn't May half term usually a bank holiday weekend too?

Yes, you're right it is. I suppose the difference is actually the fact that where we are getting married (Scotland for context) has the Edinburgh fringe for the entirety of August, so travel is generally more expensive than May.

The May option is a Tuesday wedding and the August option is on the actual bank holiday Monday (not a bank holiday in Scotland, so usual Monday rates - result!)

3mths before friends wedding is better then 2w before

If aug are you likely to be on honeymoon and miss her wedding ?

Are many joint friends going to both weddings

Our wedding was booked May bank holiday 2020 but got cancelled due to covid lockdown

Was a scorching hot day and spend alone in the garden as under lockdown

Postponed to early May 2021 so a year later thinking covid would have gone and again got cancelled as places not allowed to open till a week later

Again hot

Got married July 2021 and it blood rained. Poured !!!

So summer weather doesn't mean going to be hotter then May

Thank you!

Scotland is the destination - no guarantee for good weather at any time of year, but probably more likely in August. I do feel a bit funny about best friends wedding so thank you for your opinion!

May tends to be nicer than August in Scotland.

Wouldn't miss her wedding for the world!

With 2 kids in tow I don't think we'll do much of a honeymoon, maybe just a couple of nights after the wedding.

Lots of joint friends going to both, could be a lot for them too if they were so close together! Although best friends wedding is small and local, so not a huge expense for friends

Is that so! Good to know, thank you!
We spent a week there last August and it was glorious, but we probably just got lucky!

May sounds better tbh due to best friends wedding

Wouldn't bank on this tbh.

There have been instances of May being nicer than August in Scotland but wouldn't necessarily say it's the norm!

Is the wedding in Edinburgh? If so, acccomodation etc for test will be extortionate, especially if staying a few nights. If elsewhere in Scotland it shouldn't be too bad, especially as schools up here will be back at that point

Obviously there is no banking on any weather in Scotland totally agree but definitely as a general rule it is nicer in May where I live.
Editing to add a rainfall table, apologies for lack of headers but 3rd last column is rainfall- significantly less in May than August on average. (Hmm how do I add a picture???)https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/research/climate/maps-and-data/uk-climate-averages/gcykcv8b2 (have a link instead)

May. Don’t make people go to Edinburgh for a wedding during the fringe. (Is that what was planned for 24?).

May is the driest month in the UK - August is actually surprisingly wet if you look at the data. I reckon that is one reason why the coronation was in May.

No, the wedding isn't in Edinburgh. It's about an hour outside in Perthshire, but Edinburgh is one of the closest airports that guests will most likely use if they decide to fly. Guests do also have the option of Glasgow as it's the same distance pretty much.

I'd see if you can get legally married before baby is here. Anything can happen in childbirth or if your partner dies you'd be stuck in a tricky place financially. Then pick the date furthest from your friends wedding.

I would also marry before baby arrives.

Appreciate this - however this is our second baby, we already have a son together, so we have been sensible and have sufficient joint life cover/ death in service payout / cover for the mortgage in trust to each other so finances aren't an issue.

Or through it or in the vicinity. It's not just the cost of accommodation It's the availability of it.

How many of your guests will already have booked travel and accommodation for 2024 that it will cost them money to move?

I do agree, which is one of the reasons I'm leaning towards May!

As far as we know, none of our guests have booked any sort of travel/accommodation, and no one is planning on saying in/near Edinburgh (unless they wanted to experience the fringe that is)