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Did YOU change your partner's view on marriage/kids?

4 replies

Sparklythings9 · 04/01/2024 16:30

Did meeting you change your partner's view on marriage/kids or did meeting your partner change yours?

I strongly believe that you shouldn't spend your life trying to convince a person that is not marriage / kids / relationship minded that they should give you those things. I think they want it with you or they don't. And if they have always been open about that you need to take it or leave it as not fair to push when they have been honest.

Now I am older and wiser I do think though that timing is everything and you can change your view on these things naturally.

When I met my now DH we were both I suppose the walking red flag in that we didn't want a relationship or marriage. 😂My now DH also did not want (more) kids. It wasn't because we were putting it about, we had both just been burned before.

This totally changed when we met each other although we were not that fussed about marriage. Over time I did start to change my mind and thought oh must have a conversation with him about it and you can imagine my shock a few weeks later when he proposed!

I find it funny because when I was a lot younger I really wanted marriage and kids and I probably would have turned down a date with DH on hearing he didn't want kids or marriage! Something about DH just pulled me in and obviously at that point in life I was quite easy breezy! Probably this worked in my favour. There were no arguments about committment or anything it all happened really naturally.

I thank my exes that they wore me down so much that I was apathetic about relationships as my lack of expectations (in a good way!) made my relationship with my husband unfold beautifully and at its own pace!

Tell me about your 180 moments in romance please 🙂💘

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TedMullins · 04/01/2024 16:33

I’ve never been married or had kids and I’m vehemently opposed to both, I wouldn’t appreciate someone trying to change my mind. Yes, views can change of course but if my partner declared he suddenly wanted to get married I don’t think I’d be very happy about it.

Sparklythings9 · 04/01/2024 16:40

TedMullins · 04/01/2024 16:33

I’ve never been married or had kids and I’m vehemently opposed to both, I wouldn’t appreciate someone trying to change my mind. Yes, views can change of course but if my partner declared he suddenly wanted to get married I don’t think I’d be very happy about it.

100% agree and understand.

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JustAnotherManicMomday · 04/01/2024 23:25

I was honest I wanted it he was honest he didn't. People kept asking us for 15 years when is it going to happen I always said I doubt it will. He decided last year to ask. Now we are getting married this summer. I guess sometimes people change as they get older. I accepted it may never happen and chose to stay. He saw that to mean I'm here to stay. Having parents with multiple divorces I think that was the real issue as for them marriage did not last. However, a mortgage and two kids meant we were already tied together. Now kids are almost fully grown, he decided he wants to get married.

Sparklythings9 · 05/01/2024 10:33

JustAnotherManicMomday · 04/01/2024 23:25

I was honest I wanted it he was honest he didn't. People kept asking us for 15 years when is it going to happen I always said I doubt it will. He decided last year to ask. Now we are getting married this summer. I guess sometimes people change as they get older. I accepted it may never happen and chose to stay. He saw that to mean I'm here to stay. Having parents with multiple divorces I think that was the real issue as for them marriage did not last. However, a mortgage and two kids meant we were already tied together. Now kids are almost fully grown, he decided he wants to get married.

Firstly, congrats! I wish you both a long and happy life together! <3
Secondly I do find it a bit rude when people ask these questions! 15 years of asking is persistent.

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