Tips on how to pull this off

[knotornot]

I'd like to get married in the local registry office, with just two witnesses that we know and go for a quiet but nice lunch after and that be that.

No need for engagement ring but wedding ring would be nice, although doesn't have to be expensive or even worn.

A formal wedding dress not necessary but would perhaps like a white dress and shoes.

Maybe gonna for a night in hotel on the weekend after the wedding as likely to be a mid week ceremony.

Not interested in telling others before the event, but will let people know once it's all done and dusted with no intention to have a party.

My understand of the logistics is that we pay £70 to put our name down which has to be for a month before the ceremony and then we can book the date, turn up, do the job and that is that.

Am I missing anything absolutely vital?

Has anyone done anything similar to this?

We did it many years ago and it was wonderful. Very personal. It’s not how you get married that is important but who you marry. Wouldn’t bother with a white dress. Buy something you can wear again.

Yep, it's more or less how we did it, but like pp, I wore something I could wear again. 25 years later, I've made it into cushions... I wouldn't change a single thing about our day.

Yes ... exactly how we got married 35 years ago .. no regrets at all. Also the way my DPs got married ... 65+ years ago ! Not 100% sure on the admin side as it may have changed since we got married but am sure you can Google it on your local Council website.

I think the £70 will be the notice fee, there'll also be a fee for the ceremony.

We got married like this, although we had about 6 guests. The fee for the actual wedding ceremony was a few hundred pounds but could have been cheaper if we'd gone for a weekday.

I'm doing this on Monday. Have paid for a wedding certificate too. We gave notice at the registry office a month ago, as has to be 4 weeks before you marry. Only booked it about 7 weeks ago.

Dress from jigsaw. My hairdresser will put my hair into a low bun.

We've bought our wedding bands from Argos, £40 each. They likely won't get worn, I don't wear my engagement ring either, but want rings for the ceremony.

Lunch at a country hotel after, then in-laws will take baby home with them and DH and I will spend the night.

That’s precisely how I got married over 27 years ago.

I think I had to give 6 weeks notice as I’d been previously divorced, but that’s lost in the mists of time

The only thing you need to be aware of is when you tell people after the event, some noses will be out of joint as people see it as their ‘right’ to know it was what you planned…however my gran got over herself after a couple of months when I produced her first great grandchild 😂

Thank you for this, I wonder if I could get away with what you suggest and something to wear again - maybe with my boots rather than white shoes that I'd also not wear again. Thanks you.

Yes that's right. I think the minimum fee is for two witnesses and then maybe a little more if we want four in the room with us rather than two.

This is precisely why I don't want to disclose before, in case I get backed into making this bigger than already described which is not what we want.

I think I can deal with noses out of joint as the reality is that we wouldn't be doing it at all if it had to be a big family affair.

That's why we did it this way. If we'd had to do the full monty I would have got in the car the morning of and just driven till I ran out of land.

When we put in our notice - how is this advertised?

Is this something our family may see in advance?

I'm pretty sure (but could be wrong) that it's just on a notice board in the registry office. So publicly viewable but unlikely to be seen by accident.

My best friend's elder brother did this - she bought a very nice classically swish and stylish outfit (that's done about 5 weddings and 2 days at the races since that I know of) complete with very nice Irregular Choice shoes and a really nice handbag to match which I absolutely hanker after as it's my style minimalist.
Announced it after the event, at Christmas (married in July).

We eloped, picked a small hotel that had a cute room next to it, with a little moat around it, far enough from family that no-one felt they could have just attended. Hired a photographer as I did want nice pictures, he brought his partner to assist and they became our witnesses. The day was perfect, we didn't want a fuss. Asked our parents if ok we did this, they were ok as our day, just knew that we would surprise them afterwards. Some family offended as wanted a party, just ignored them. I designed my dress and had it made at local dressmaker, not expensive. Hope you have a lovely wedding, good luck with it all.

Thank you for sharing your stories they are great to hear.

I was surprised that the local register office can accommodate most dates once the notice is complete, I thought there would still be a wait.

Later in the week is more expensive that earlier in the week so not thinking whether to pay a bit more for a Thursday or Friday so we can tie it in with a couple of days off work and a night away.

Did anyone have readings and what did you wear?

We didn’t have readings. It was only me, dh, both sets of parent and my sister and brother in law. Because it was Christmastime, I wore a bottle green velvet dress, my sister wore navy velvet and and my mum wore red, I had a small hand tied bouquet of red roses…it was 1996