What are the options if one partner is Catholic and other isn’t?

[giddydaisy]

Struggling to find an answer online!

Can you marry in a Catholic Church if one of you isn’t religious? Or can you have some kind of blessing after a civil ceremony?

Is anyone else in this position? ☺️

As long as one of you is Catholic, fine to marry in a Catholic Church (provided neither have been married in one before). This will be contingent to you both agreeing to go to marriage preparation classes and to be attending church also

The Catholic partner doesn’t know?

When we married 15 years ago, it was okay as my husband was baptised, albeit C of E. If he had not been baptised we would have needed special permission from the bishop.

ETA: most priests would expect you to be worshipping at their church for some time before marriage. It is probably worth speaking to your parish priest about it. They will be able to guide you.

He thinks it’s fine and straightforward but I am not convinced from reading online! Trying to consider options before serious planning

I live in Ireland and it's fine here, I've been to quite a few Catholic weddings in which only one partner was Catholic. I was just recently at one in Northern Ireland also for my Catholic friend whose husband is Protestant. The priest welcomed all those on the husband's side and explained that they wouldn't be able to receive the holy communion unless they had made their First Holy Communion but anyone was welcome to come up for a blessing if they would like to.

I thought it was good that he explained the rules clearly in advance because I was at a Catholic wedding for my Muslim friend years ago where nothing was explained to her family and friends who had travelled over from Pakistan and the priest had a bit of a panic when people who were clearly not catholic including very young children started joining the queue for Communion.

We had to get a dispensation from the bishop. I don't know if it was because we were getting married in the CC abroad. We had to go to a marriage preparation class.

It all depends on the priest IME.
We got married in our local tiny Catholic Church using the civil rites and a couple of bible readings, one in English and one in Italian.
There was communion because it was also the Sunday Mass.
No marriage preparation course, in fact his only question to me was “You’re not Buddhist, are you? (winky winky)”.

He was a great guy, more like a social worker for the isolated mountain villages than a priest. He gave us one of his amateur paintings as a wedding present which is affectionately known as The Crust.
When he baptized DC1 he gathered all the children around the font to explain what he was doing “… and now we have a new little member of our church.”

The local Protestant preacher, on the other hand, refused any form of double ceremony and wanted full renouncement of the Catholic creed from DH…

Fine. I think the exact process depends a bit if one is baptised into another Christian denomination (even if not religious) or not at all. For not at all you’ll have to fill in some forms and the priest will get dispensation (he will want to meet both partners to discuss etc too). And the non catholic partner will have to promise not to try to stop their spouse practising their faith, and to raise any children Catholic

Attend the proposed church with your fiance and ask the priest afterwards.
The classes before the wedding are actually really helpful and get you both thinking and discussing practical things about living together long term.

I was Catholic and married my non Christened husband in a Catholic Church (27years ago). We couldn’t have a mass but had wedding ceremony and readings. I didn’t want mass anyway.

My DH is Catholic but I am not christened. We got married in a Catholic Church. A few months before the wedding I had to make a declaration in front of our local parish priest that I would agree to our DC being brought up as Catholic. We also had to attend a marriage preparation course but that would have been a requirement even if I was Catholic. There was nothing religious about the course and I think that all couples should do the course, ideally before they have kids if they decide to have kids without being married.

Ah yes I forgot DH had to agree to any chn being Catholic but really, it’s not legally binding. We did baptise our chn but once they got to 12 they made their own choices anyway.

I have no religion and DH is catholic. We got married in a Catholic Church with full mass.

The priest knew I wasn't catholic and I had to promise that children would be brought up as catholics.

During the service when the catholics went up for communion the non catholics (me included) remained seated.

It always makes me laugh when I attend any catholic service. Spot the Proddies - our lone voices saying the extra two lines of the Lord's Prayer!

In the Catholic Churches I attend if it's a wedding or Christmas Mass etc they say that during communion non Catholics can come up during Communion with their arms crossed and they will recieve a blessing instead of Communion.

My partner and I are a mixed marriage , he had to agree to bring children up Catholic and attend marriage lessons which were very useful. Eg discussing money , who will pay bills , joint account or not , do you want children etc etc.

@Cuddlybug and I have the opposite working in a state C of E school wondering why everyone is carrying on when the prayer is ‘ finished’ in my world! 😀 I also had the stop my hands automatically coming up to make the sign of the cross!

Do you really want to marry into a religion that subjugates women? Do you really want your children brought up in the Catholic religion?

Catholics have always been able to marry non-Catholics in church. Back in the day, there was a different service if one of the B&G was not RC, but that changed ages ago.

Yes, you have to undertake to raise DC as Catholic (just like you also have to undertake to have the little blighters in the first place - RC still keen on procreation as a key part of marriage, even if marrying those of senior years)

They'll also do blessings if you have a civil service beforehand.

DH is Catholic, i am CofE. We actually ended up getting married in a CofE church, with the Catholic priest taking part in the service, leading the prayers etc. But if i remember correctly, we had to meet with the Catholic priest in advance, we had to attend the Catholic marriage preparation class and i had to sign a document to say that i would agree to having any children raised as Catholic (not sure of the exact wording). Not sure if the process is different if the non-Catholic partner hasnt been christened / baptised at all?

PPs comments about the Lord's Prayer is also bringing back lots of memories of DH's side of the family during the service when my side merrily carried on 🤣

@KatesLipGloss we couldn’t have a mass in 1996, had to be a wedding ceremony only.

Recently (in the US) a family member who is Protestant and baptized married a Catholic in a Catholic church. They did have mass, with the priest inviting non-Catholics to come forward during communion for a blessing. The Protestant groom received a blessing but did not take communion.

I am catholic and Married a non baptised man in 98. We were allowed a mass though chose not to as it's still a sacrament. We did attend preparation classes and I promised to welcome children and raise them to know Godard my husband and asked if he'd support my faith.