What are the benefits of marriage?

[Tumbleweed101]

I’m asking in the legal sense. My daughter is hoping to get married in due course and I’m pretty sure this will give her protections for her and any future children but I’m not sure what they are.

I was in a relationship for 11yrs but when her dad left me and I became a single parent I had to struggle on alone. We weren’t married. I’m hoping marriage could protect her more financially if the same situation arose but I don’t know much about it.

There will be other posters along to give more thorough advice I’m sure, but it depends on their circumstances. So, if they own a property and it’s only in his name, without marriage he keeps the property. She doesn’t even have tenants rights. If married, she gets a share of the marital assets including the house (dependant on length of marriage). It also gives her more security on maternity leave or if she decides to be a sahp. Assuming they want kids. Works both ways too, if her DH wants to be the sahp.

Full disclosure, I’m not married. We jointly own our house, have mirror wills and are both executor for the other. Joint account for bills and house saving, own savings accounts. No kids. At this point in time marriage wouldn’t bring us any advantage so we haven’t bothered. If she has this kind of relationship, she’s probably not going to get any additional security from marriage (but might want the romance!).

You are recognised as next of kin so if any health decisions need to be made they can be made by the other person.

My mum hardly worked since me. They are not married.
Relationship with Dad not good (not blaming my Dad here, it's a whole other long story)
Dad has not put her in his will and refuses to discuss it (as above, long story)
If my Dad dies she could really struggle financially. House won't be hers, savings etc won't be hers and I will have to be the one deciding everything.
Marriage would have protected her against this.

The next of kin is not true.

The only legal meaning of next of kin is for inheritance when you die without a will. There is then a legal order for closest relatives to determine who inherits.

In healthcare no one cares if you are a spouse or a partner, if you can demonstrate that you know the other person's wishes then that will do.

You can't make medical decisions for someone else without a Lasting Power of Attorney for Health, married or not.

If one of you dies, the other won’t be the next of kin. You may find your financial affairs handled by a sibling of your partner, who you have never met. If there’s no will, it’s even worse. If you’re not named as beneficiary for the life insurance or death in service, you may struggle for money, or the money may end up being inherited by an estranged sibling, if you don’t have children.

Marriage is effectively a legal structure for the efficient pooling of financial assets in order to enable the raising of a family. If one party works less or otherwise compromises their own income and financial assets for the overall benefit of said family (and NB that the family may or may not include dependent children), it acts to redress that if the marriage ends. It also acts as verification of parentage and simplifies inheritance and the passing of assets after death.

This article gives information on the legal differences, and if your DD is currently uncertain what they are then she needs to read it and think about how it applies to her personal circumstances

Living together and marriage: legal differences - Citizens Advice

Not every part of the rights/entitlements of marriage can be replicated (such as inheritance tax). Other parts can be (eg via wills and nominating pensions beneficiaries) but of course those can be changed at the stroke of a pen.

It would be unwise to give up financial security, eg by reducing hours, or losing career trajectory for family reasons, without first considering if you would want a safety net, and whether that safety net is enduring or one the other partner could remove at any time

If you die in childbirth or are very ill (very morbid!) A husband is legally recognised as the father straight away.

Visas if you want to work abroad can be more straightforward

Some death in service benefits (ill get a widows pension from DH employer, an unmarried partner wouldn't)

If one of you become a SAHP (might not need the plan, but you could have a disabled child for example, or triplets) its extra protection

Dying intestate... inheritance

Marriage has set up flaws in that although once you are married you both own each others assets, it doesn't prevent one of you being a dick about money and insisting that if you earn more money it's yours and can't be touched by the spouse.

Or one of you being naive and thinking if you are on mat leave you should be paying your way 50:50 despite only being on SMP. Have seen this on far far too many threads.

I'd advise your DD to have clear conversations before Marriage about how money is going to work, attitudes to spending, expectations for finances during pregnancy and beyond, expectations for child care and parenting.

A response of 'I'll always see you right" is not good enough. She needs a thoroughly unromantic discussion of hard facts.