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Original poster

Looking horrible in photos

24 replies

mamatoTails · 09/11/2023 11:33

Hi all

So I'm getting married next month, just a very small wedding, still don't have a dress but not worried about that.

I am worried about the photos. I always, always look horrible in photos. I haven't been in any professional photos for years probably; but iPhone photos for birthdays etc I just look urgh.

And I don't know how to stand and look nice, i I'll probably forget to smile, will having photos taken be really awkward?

Will professional photos make me look half decent?! Feel like ditching the photo man and just taking a few selfies!

I always look in the mirror and think 'oh yeh not too bad' but then the photos ruin my mood Confused

OP posts:
hotcandle · 09/11/2023 11:43

I got married in August OP. I'm the exact same as you.

The professional photos I've seen thus far are horrific and I don't care about whether or not I receive the rest of the photos as I know they're going to be horrible. I do have a few nice ones that guests took but they are few and far between.

Some of us just aren't photogenic. I didn't put a lot of money into the professional photos (a friend took them) so I'm not going to look at them until far far into the future when maybe I'm less critical.

hotcandle · 09/11/2023 11:45

I wish we didn't bother with a professional photographer (friend or not) but, maybe people will want to see them in future.

Mumofoneandone · 09/11/2023 11:46

Maybe have a chat with the photographer about your concerns and see what he can suggest to help.

fearfuloffluff · 09/11/2023 11:48

Tbh I think most people glaze over when looking at wedding photos, they're all the same unless you're wearing a dark red dress or something.

I'd have some photos but think of it as a record of the day rather than having to show you as a beautiful flower! Mine live in an album, there's no law that says you have to have them on the wall etc.

blobby10 · 09/11/2023 11:50

I can honestly say that my (formal) wedding photos were the only set of photos that I ever looked nice in! There's something about being posed that gives you the chance to stand up straighter, pull your stomach in, tilt your chin slightly and open your eyes properly! The only other picture I've looked nice in were ones taken 5 years ago with my adult children for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. They were in a professional studio and the photographer was so lovely at keeping us all relaxed although in a couple I can see the grimace starting rather than a genuine smile

LaVitesse2022 · 09/11/2023 11:51

I got married this summer and was seriously thinking of ditching the professional photographer but so glad we went with her in the end. It does make a big difference. I would speak to them for extra professional support in how to pose, smile, etc if you're concerned.

fearfuloffluff · 09/11/2023 11:55

I wouldn't skip it entirely - when you're old and wrinkly, you might think differently about how you look now!

MakeNewPlanStan · 09/11/2023 11:58

There is an amazing American 'posing expert' on instagram called thechristinebuzan who shows you how to make small changes to the way you angle your body, etc, that do make a difference to how you look in photos. Her posts are hilarious - she did a 'How to Pose with a Pumpkin' post for Hallowe'en - but the advice is pretty solid. Have a look and maybe practice with a (good) friend before the wedding, to get used to what you look like?

That said, the best wedding photographers will take lots of observant candid shots, and catch you when you're just relaxed and happy, not when you're standing in a line with your entire family worrying about your shoes. Those are usually the wedding photos you put in a frame, not the awkward group shots

Snoken · 09/11/2023 12:12

Maybe get short videos instead? I worked as a model for years in the mid 90's-early 00's but even I prefer videos. It's a lot harder to look good in 2D. Then if I want a still I just extract one from the video.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/11/2023 12:17

Get a professional photographer who knows what they're doing and can tell you how to pose- it is an art form!!

Go on YouTube loads of posing experts I absolutely LOVE David Suh he seems to give people a real confidence boost!

Practice practice practice!

Hope u have a lovely wedding

TheBirdintheCave · 09/11/2023 12:19

I think if you're going with a professional photographer you need to REALLY spell it out for them that you don't think you look good in photos. I didn't do this well enough and ended up with a set of photos that I think I look dreadful in.

catsnore · 09/11/2023 12:25

Get someone who does informal photography where you don't have to pose too much. I felt similar about my wedding but actually really loved the photos in the end.

Growingoutthegrey · 09/11/2023 12:27

Have a look at photographers that 1-don't do posed photos but more documentary style so you won't know they're being taken, these capture moments which I think are so much nicer and more memorable.

And 2-ones that will do a practice session with you.

Original poster
mamatoTails · 10/11/2023 13:32

Thank you for your replies, I'm glad it's not just me that feels this way; but sorry that so many others feel or felt the same.

OP posts:
IDoNotMoisturise · 10/11/2023 13:35

oh god same here, I cannot even smile properly its just some kind of weird grimace😂

MerryTraveller · 10/11/2023 13:36

hotcandle · 09/11/2023 11:45

I wish we didn't bother with a professional photographer (friend or not) but, maybe people will want to see them in future.

No one has ever asked to see my wedding photos. Everyone who would care at the time was at the wedding. Weddings aren't something I discuss with new friends.
They are in a drawer somewhere and have been for nearly 20 years!
My children might look at them but with today's overload of data, photos don't have special significance like they did in the past.

Georgie743 · 10/11/2023 13:39

Don't have lots of posted photos - get your photographer to do mainly candid photos

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 10/11/2023 13:42

I hate having my photo taken but our professional photographer was great. He took some of the best photos of my family members I've ever seen. We only did a few formal shots and the rest were all just casual shots of people chatting and laughing together. Mostly, they didn't even know anyone was taking their picture. Make sure your photographer's style "fits" you

Coastalcreeksider · 10/11/2023 13:43

I've only got two photos where I don't look too bad, one with an Elvis impersonator taken about 28 years ago and my security pass in a previous job taken about 21 years ago.

Thank goodness I don't do online dating ... 😳😂

Ilovegoldies · 10/11/2023 14:13

I'm getting married and I look so crap in photos (my fiance hates how he looks too) that we have skipped a photographer altogether.

Consideratestone · 10/11/2023 14:14

I have to admit none of mine were great. I know no one else is interested but I wanted some nice ones for me!

Hotdogblast · 20/04/2024 19:23

Hi I am not married yet but yes I look so bad in my photos, but when I check the mirror I look alright.people I hardly know have told me that I look better in real life, my sister sends me old pic where I look disgusting AF to ruin my confidence.I don't know how to tell my future husband that I look bad in pictures

Original poster
mamatoTails · 23/04/2024 14:30

Hotdogblast · 20/04/2024 19:23

Hi I am not married yet but yes I look so bad in my photos, but when I check the mirror I look alright.people I hardly know have told me that I look better in real life, my sister sends me old pic where I look disgusting AF to ruin my confidence.I don't know how to tell my future husband that I look bad in pictures

Hi,
well we got married in December and decided against anyone professional photographer in the end.

We just wanted to keep it really informal and asked our witnesses to help. One filmed the ceremony and the other took photos. Honestly, it made me more relaxed not having to worry about posing in a certain way etc.

We picked out the photos we liked best and just used one or two for when people ask to see.

Try and enjoy your day, I know it's easy to say that now, but looking back it was fine and I didn't really think about the photos in the end.

OP posts:
Debs2024 · 11/06/2024 18:32

Who cares enjoy the day if photographer is good you should don’t do any poses u don’t feel comfortable with Enjoy

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