Anybody else TTC before wedding?

[WompingWillow]

I'm going to start off by saying yes I know pregnancy hits everybody differently, I may get lucky and have minimal symptoms or I may get unlucky and end up with hyperemesis. We're having a super low key wedding but due to other circumstances we're not able to bring the wedding forward. We're looking at TTC around 6 months before the wedding but let's be fair it's unlikely we'd conceive straight away (although I know still possible). Anyone else TTC before their wedding?

I mean, you mention hyperemesis, so you're aware you could then end up too sick to attend your own wedding? Not a choice I would make personally, but I presume you have good wedding insurance so you could cancel it if that happens.

When is your wedding? Why do you want to TTC now rather than after the wedding?

Many congratulations on your upcoming wedding. We didn’t TTC before our wedding, however when we did TTC 7 years later, I was pregnant the first month of trying, the same with DS2 a year later. So don’t assume it will take a few months. Wishing you all the very best.

Wedding isn't for another 18 months. We'd love to start trying earlier (and therefore hopefully already have a baby by wedding day) but can't due to finances and a few other commitments, 11/12 months from now is pretty much the earliest. Both in mid to late thirties now so not keen on delaying any longer than we need to.

Ahh sorry I was trying to reply to a specific person with that last post but it doesn't look like it worked. Absolutely @WeightoftheWorld but hyperemesis is pretty rare in the grand scheme of things. I could also end up with raging COVID and be too unwell 💁

Oh yeah absolutely not assuming it'll take months. It's more not wanting to get my hopes up with it happening too quickly tbh. My sister conceived on month one with both of hers as did my future sis in law with number 2.

Edited due to typos and clicked submit too early!

We’ve been TTC for past two years, we’ve stopped currently for two months as I don’t want to be due on my wedding day lol but we’ll restart again soon. For us it would be a miracle to get pregnant so I don’t care if I’m pregnant for my wedding

I did and got pregnant, sadly ended in a miscarriage. I wouldn’t wait if I were you, I think there’s always a way to make it happen. Worst case, I’d rather move the wedding if it turns out to be really impossible (my wedding date was my due date so I moved it forward when I found out that I was pregnant) than delaying TTC for too long and wasting fertile years.

I'd bring wedding forward as much as humanly possible and wait til then. You might get pregnant tonight, you might be still trying 2 years from now. There's simply no way of knowing. Equally, I wouldn't put off trying for 2 years if you are in your mid-30's. It's the 1st of December now - could you push for next July or August for the big day? You said it would be fairly low key anyway. If you're having fewer than 80 people it shouldn't be too hard to plan for the summer.

I was at a wedding recently and 3 months later the happy couple announced their pregnancy from their wedding night!

I had a miscarriage in Feb, decided to get married in September and didn't stop TTC and got a positive test 3 days before the wedding! So was relieved I didn't have to alter my dress and still had a wonderful day, no symptoms that early on!

I’d just do the legals now and then have a wedding party on the planned date. For me it was very important to be married before conceiving, for security and because I want my husband to be the baby’s legal father from birth.

Can’t you move your wedding forward instead? If it’s a low key wedding, presumably it’s not super expensive so could you get married on the spring and then start TTC right away?

I did this, fell pregnant ten days after coming off the pill, and was six months pregnant at my wedding!!! 😂

I’m so happy to find a recent thread on this! I’m in the exact same boat, I’m 37, will be 38 in July. Wedding booked for early August. We weren’t in a position to be able to book it any earlier for various reasons. We planned the wedding as quickly as we could (only engaged a few weeks) and it wasn’t enjoyable for me at all, I got very overwhelmed with it all, trying to book everything quickly and it’s only now that it’s all planned that I’m no longer stressing, and I’m looking forward to the day.
We had originally planned to ttc the second we got engaged and if we were successful we’d simply postpone the wedding. Planning and booking the wedding proved very difficult though and the thoughts of having to do that all over again filled me with dread so we decided to wait until the wedding is over with. I’m now having second thoughts, wondering if the next 8 months are critical for me, and if we should revert back to the original plan. Or do I at least come off the pill and allow my body to regulate, so that after the wedding there’s nothing else holding us back. It’s a tough one. If only we could see into the future!

@Clara202 it might be worth coming off the pill and using another method (barrier or something like FAM). Or maybe come off the pill a few months before the wedding and then if something does happen at least you won't be really pregnant and having to postpone your wedding day?

I know I’m out of touch with wedding planning (I’ve been married over 20 years) but why do weddings need to be booked SO far in advance nowadays? Is it mainly due to wanting a certain venue?

We were too broke to contemplate a big do, so everything was booked just a few weeks in advance. We had a church wedding on a Friday and a small reception at a restaurant.😂

It can sometimes depend on what country you live in. You can’t legally get married without at least 3 months notice in Ireland, you need a marriage notification appointment which we finally managed to get for next week, it was hard to get a date for this, we ended up taking one in a different county to the one we live in. So legally we couldn’t marry any sooner than 3 months from the 21st of December, our earliest possible wedding date would be March 21st. We cant marry in Spring/early summer due to issues with work on both sides during that time so July is the earliest we could have done, and as July/August is a peak time for weddings trying to get anything booked was very very tough for us. We haven’t gotten our first choice of anything really but we’re not too upset about that, we both just want it done now. If the 3 months notice hadn’t been a requirement we would have had a January wedding no problem. It would have been a lot easier to source suppliers for that month and a lot cheaper off peak as well but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles!

@Clara202 I wouldn't wait to TTC at 37. I had both of mine in my late thirties. You might get PG on your Wedding night or you may need some help, you just can't know.

@Clara202 Thanks, that makes sense. I thought perhaps it was wanting a certain venue/having a massive do that could hold weddings up.

One of my friends (36) recently got engaged and told me that they wanted to get married ASAP. Initially I thought she meant next spring, but everything’s now booked for October 2024! I don’t consider that particularly quick, tbh, but she’s having a huge do, (seven bridesmaids!) so of course that take a lot of planning.

I do wonder whether she’s wise doing this as she wants to TTC as soon as they’re married. But, it’s her decision.

We’ve been TTC for two years and carrying on trying even with our wedding in Spring.

Crack on I reckon, if you’re a chilled bride. It’s just a faff with the dress.