Small children/babies at weddings - what’s the norm in other countries?

[Cinai]

Just curious really (and obsessed about all things wedding because my own wedding is approaching!)…I’m not British and in my home country, children up to about 8 years would automatically be invited with their parents. We wouldn’t put the names of the children on the invite (unless we know them and they’re family), just the parents’ names but assume they would come with kids. For children aged 8-15 we would ask whether they will come but accommodate them if yes. (Usually we do a RSVP which asks to enter the names of all that are coming so we can prepare adult/kids meals accordingly). From 16 years+ we wouldn’t consider them invited if not said so on the invite.

I’m getting married soon in the UK and I’m really happy that Mumsnet taught me that it is different here. Almost all of my British friends have babies or small children, I’d have just put the names of my friends on the invites, assuming they’d come with their kids, and I’d have been super confused why everyone politely rejects the invite 😅🙈

Im curious now…if you’re not British, what’s the norm in your country? I wonder if Britain is the exception with not automatically inviting small children and babies, or if my home country is the one that’s doing things differently.

If you want the kids invited you need to put the names on the invite.

Generallly UK weddings are no kids of any age unless specifically invited.

I'm Irish, living in Ireland and only those named on the invites are invited. Child free weddings are pretty common here now.

Child free weddings are a relatively new thing in the UK it used to be very common to see children at weddings as they were viewed as the joining of two families.
I think it's a shame that now they are viewed more a large parties for adults.

I'd either put the children's names specifically it you're inviting them or something like 'Tim, Charlotte and children'.

You need to write all the first names (including names of the children) or write "Anne and family" (if you don't know the names of her partner and children).

I sometimes address things to "the [surname] family" and would write that on the envelope but would put first names on the invitation.

I like children at weddings btw and had children at mine, plus have been to some lovely family weddings with children. I don't like it when people say the wedding is child free but then make exceptions for some and not others (with exception of babes in arms... I mean for example when people want cute flower girls and page boys for the photos but don't want other kids there 🙄). However if I was invited to a classy child free wedding and could get childcare I'd be delighted to attend.

Where I’m from children are invited. But our weddings also don’t cost $50k

and we don’t hate children.

when I got married we made sure the invitation was extended to children as well, and we are glad that we did because they honestly added to our celebration.

I had children at my wedding. DH and I are both British although DH is 3rd generation Irish. The children at our wedding weren’t a pain at all and all entertained each other. We had a room full of games and activities for them that they were in and out of.

My cousin’s wedding was child free. Their choice, that’s fine but meant DH and I couldn’t go because we had DD1 and the people we would have felt comfortable leaving her with were at the wedding.

BIL had a child free wedding but had our DDs and niece as flower girls. DD2 was 2.5 at the time and just wanted to run around in the (very not child safe) grounds. There was a pond only closed off on 3 sides and the venue had a really steep hill outside with loads of thistles. DH was a groomsman so I spent the time traipsing around after her, trying to stop her falling in the pond or down the hill. When I dragged her inside, she cried as it was too loud and she could see the outside space. I took her home at about 7pm because it was fun for neither of us.

My best friend is getting married next year and gave us the choice to invite DC or not. We said no because it will be more fun for us. We will have a 2 month old but that’s not the same as a toddler.

Childfree weddings are a fairly new thing.

I’m in a major city in the US and weddings are almost always child free, usually due to cost.

My friends in more rural America with more casual weddings say kids are often invited.

My daughter just got married in Ireland and did not invite most kids because of sheer numbers of kids in the family. She has 50 first cousins (plus partners) and they have more than 30 kids between them, so not financially feasible. She did invite the kids of families who were traveling from overseas.

Here only the people named on the invitation are invited. When my kids were small, if I couldn’t find a babysitter, I didn’t go. My kids were only invited to 2 weddings. Close family.

Ireland here. I was 16 when I first attended a wedding. My own older teenagers have never been invited to a wedding. At our own wedding we had just our own nieces and nephews, no other children. This is very typical. If a child's name isn't on the wedding invitation then he/she is not invited. Breast-fed babies would be the only exception but even so the Mum or Dad would keep them at the back of the church for a quick escape if there is any chance the baby might wake up and spoil a special moment.