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Original poster

Advice Re: Wedding Gift

20 replies

billiar · 27/09/2023 22:22

I am going to a wedding next year. I am very low income and transport there, outfit etc is already a big stretch. The problem is being able to afford a gift too.

What sorts of gifts should we get when on a really small budget.

In case it's relevant. My partner and I have been invited as a couple. The wedding was a covid wedding which was a small ceremony. This is the second part of this which is going to feel more like a larger traditional wedding. The bride and groom are ridiculously wealthy from family money.

OP posts:

RoseAndRose · 27/09/2023 22:25

Wait and see if there's a list.

If there is, choose something from that which fits your budget.

Otherwise a good bottle of their preferred drink (assuming they drink alcohol)

gogomoto · 27/09/2023 22:34

Good suggestion already but depending on how well you know them, they may genuinely prefer you not to worry about a gift. For an outfit I would borrow from a friend or scout second hand shops, don't be afraid to ask in them too - some may have things like hats stashed away out back

cravingmilkshake · 28/09/2023 06:40

You don't have to get them a gift...,... weddings are expensive for guests.

We had a huge wedding , country house etc and 3 people (one couple and one single) didn't give us a gift, just a card , and we didn't even bat an eye lid .

RampantIvy · 28/09/2023 06:45

So, it's just the party, not a wedding. I agree that buying an outfit second hand and just buying a card and a token gift is fine.

determinedtomakethiswork · 28/09/2023 06:47

You don't have to go if you don't want to. If it's going to cost you a fortune and affect you financially then can't you just say that you won't be able to attend?

DrFosterWentToGloucester23 · 28/09/2023 06:55

As above, we had a fairly large wedding do and didn’t mention anything about gifts on the invitation (as we genuinely didn’t want/need anything) There were definitely guests who just brought a card and it was totally fine. We wanted them there to celebrate with us, not leave themselves short for the month.

RampantIvy · 28/09/2023 07:21

Also, do you need to buy a new outfit that you might only wear once? Do you have anything that you already have that you can wear?

Original poster

billiar · 28/09/2023 23:46

unfortunately I don't have anything appropriate already.

The couple will definitely notice if there was no gift. There is no list, they've asked for money to their honey moon.

My partner and I can afford £30 as a couple, but I already know one other friend is giving £200 and I feel stingy.

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 29/09/2023 08:55

My partner and I can afford £30 as a couple, but I already know one other friend is giving £200 and I feel stingy.

That absolutely wouldn't bother me at all. I would only give close family £200 as a wedding gift.

RoseAndRose · 29/09/2023 09:02

£30 is absolutely fine!
(I'd say anything over £25 is fine, BTW, no particular reason, just what feels right to me)

Oldthyme · 29/09/2023 09:07

£30 is a very generous gift! Don’t compare yourselves to other donations. Shut those thoughts down.

Start looking now for your outfit. You’ll be surprised what will turn up when you least expect it.

Have a lovely time. Something to look forward to.

hulahoopqueen · 29/09/2023 09:35

I think £25-30 in a nice card is more than appropriate in this situation. You would sincerely hope that they've invited people they want to celebrate their marriage with, rather than scouted out those who they think will drum up the most cash for a honeymoon.

HaddawayAndShite · 29/09/2023 09:42

I’ve recently been married, cash in cards ranged from £0 - £100. I couldn’t tell you who gave us what now except a few as their generosity was a shock. If they care about the marriage more than the wedding it won’t mean anything to them, you being there is the most important thing.

Original poster

billiar · 29/09/2023 15:22

Thank you - but £30 is only £15 each is that enough if it's a couples gift not per individual?

OP posts:

Puddleducks9 · 29/09/2023 15:24

We asked for money for our honeymoon but some guests bought gifts like photo frames or champagne, some just gave a card. We weren’t offended at all as weddings cost a fortune to attend.

Puddleducks9 · 29/09/2023 15:24

As pp have said - if you think they’ll be offended if you don’t give generously, I wouldn’t bother going.

HoHoHoliday · 29/09/2023 15:29

Just give them a nice card with a personal message written inside. Honestly, gifts are optional. If you were my friend, a good enough friend to invite to my wedding, I would hate the idea that you were scrimping for the sake of my honeymoon!

PostOpOp · 30/09/2023 06:49

How good friends are you? Either they're close enough to know you're not floating in a cloud of inherited wealth, or they're not close enough for you to need to be there.

Go in Vinted for an outfit btw, you'll definitely find something there.

Snoopystick · 30/09/2023 06:51

Have you any nice photos of the couple that you could put in a lovely frame?

Inyourwildestdreams · 30/09/2023 06:54

@billiar £30 is and a nice card is absolutely fine 😊 or give a nice bottle of champagne if you feel uncomfortable giving cash.
Honestly, have a look on Vinted for an outfit. I’ve bought loads of occassion wear on there and saved an absolute fortune! You know what it’s like, so many people buy a wedding guest outfit and feel they can only wear it once so they sell it! Vinted is full of it and most has been worn once! 😊

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