When is a hen do?

[Hopinghonestly]

Getting married in March 2024..

When do i plan and have the hen do?

Also what do you do for a hen do? I dont drink so the bar crawl thing would kill me.

Firstly you don’t have to have one, but if you do there are various things to do without drinking, spa days, meals out, weekend away, lots of escape room type events, formula one, theatre with meal etc., Just do what you like and when you like, there’s no set rules.

I'd say Jan/Feb time as it gives people enough time to save up for whatever you plan to do. There's lots of things you can do that don't involve alcohol. Afternoon tea, spa, theme parks, a weekend in a cottage together, life drawing class, pottery classes. All depends on what you like to do.

I am also getting married March 24 and my hen do is at the beginning of February. Likewise my fiancé’s stag do is the following week.

usually you as someone close to you to organise it for you though OP

If it were me I’d do an afternoon tea for closest friends in February.

My wedding is the start of August and my hen is the last weekend of June. That way it doesn't take it too much time concurrently for people. Planned in advance is easier too as it's already in people's calendars

I don't drink and have a wonderful hen do. We did a weekend thing (locally). Did chocolate making, a lovely dinner and then crazy golf and the next morning we did a brunch with a murder mystery activity.

Also done a lovely tea with lots of bridal games and someone coming to the house to do manicures and massages etc or spas.

If you're more active you could do activities like the crystal maze or an escape room type thing or even more so rafting or go ape. Lots of unique bars like flights to do activities in

And do the hen when others can make it. I got married in July but had my hen in march as certain people I wanted there who we there at that time from abroad etc

What sort of thing would you want to do?

Overnight trip to a National Park with a hike and back to the hotel for dinner?

Day out at a theme park?

Spa day?

Afternoon Tea somewhere?

A show and dinner?

An old-fashioned slumber parry at your house with cheesy dvds and pizzas and board games from your childhood (Dream Phone anyone?)

You could have it any time up to the wedding.

There are no rules - do whatever you would enjoy...weekend away, afternoon tea, and activity from Go Ape to lace making..... just go for a meal.

Historically it was a get together just before the wedding, but if you have people who will be coming to your hen who have to travel..... people who need to arrange childcare ....people who need to have time off work ...... it makes sense to either make it a couple days before (go out on the Thursday evening, and the wedding is on the Saturday) or have it some time apart.

Depends as well how much you are asking people to spend.

@UsingChangeofName a hen do on a Thursday before a wedding on a Saturday sounds like a nightmare please don’t don’t this OP.

Most people have their stag and hen dos 4-8 weeks before the wedding!

I'm going on a hen do in Feb 24 for an august 24 wedding. Couple are teachers so organised around school breaks and still leaves them chance for a holiday at Easter break

@largomargo that feels way too early! They should have gone for May half term. It’s going to be hard to keep up the hype for the wedding when it is still 6 months away

@TwoCoffeesPlease , I think you are projecting here, on what your idea of a hen do is.

The OP has said that she doesn't drink.

Obviously I have no idea who is coming to her wedding, but if she has people traveling a long way, and staying a few days, then going for a meal and a catch up when they arrive sounds a pretty nice thing to do, to me. It isn't uncommon for bridesmaids to arrive a day ot two before, to attend a rehearsal for example.

But then I don't need to consume copious amounts of alcohol to enjoy myself either, so wouldn't be hung over, and I can't see any reason why this would be a bad idea.

@Hopinghonestly can I suggest that you read a few hen do threads on here so that you know what not to do for a hen do.

Hen dos that cause issues tend to be:

Expensive hen dos abroad
Overnight stays where strangers end up sharing rooms or even beds
Hen dos that have increasing costs when people have signed up for say £100 then end up forking out £200

You need to look at things you like doing and be sensitive to people's financial/childcare circumstances.

As an old gimmer I have never been to a destination hen do. Every hen do I have been to has been a meal - either an evening meal or afternoon tea, both of which means that alcohol is optional.

I didn’t bother, but have been to lots that weren’t drinking sessions, or weekends away (though I also went on one where we walked part of the Cotswolds Way over a weekend, and stayed in pubs, which was lovely). For one, we took out boats on the Avon and then had afternoon tea, for another, a day trip to an island followed by dinner — another was a beach picnic.

Anything from a couple of months before the wedding to two days before.

@TwoCoffeesPlease May half term more expensive and a number of attendees aren't high earners. The 6 bridesmaids, 2 mums and various other relatives will have no trouble at all keeping the hype going.

My hen is in a few weeks and I'm just having close friends over to my house for a few drinks, nibbles and silly games!

This sounds so much like a sales pitch...