It's my DB's wedding in a couple of months, and I'm part of the bridal party. I'm very happy and excited to be part of the wedding as a bridesmaid.
From the very start of the wedding planning, it was made clear to the bridesmaids (me and one other) that it was optional if we wanted to get our hair and make-up professionally done on the day. It wasn't a requirement or expectation. For both, it's around £130, for reference.
There's also the option of staying at the hotel for two nights-the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding. In total including hair and make-up, it's nearing £500.
The other bridesmaid has dropped out of all of it-hair and make-up, and the hotel, citing financial reasons. She will still be a bridesmaid and all of that-just not stay over or get her hair and make-up professionally done.
My DB told me about it and it resulted in a heated conversation with me defending the other bridesmaid. My view is that times are tight right now for many people, and spending close to £500 on a wedding just isn't within many people's budgets.
His view is that it's their big day, and if people want to be a part of it, they should be willing to spend that and if not, then they just shouldn't bother.
This has left me in a predicament because I've been looking at my own finances and thinking if I can afford the hair and make-up as well. I'm just about able to cover the cost of the hotel-but with factoring in food and drinks (for the first night and drinks for the wedding) and the cost of wedding gift/money-it's putting me in a bit of a bind.
Now I feel like it'll be WW3 if I opt out of the hair and make-up and choose to do both myself because he sees it as some sign that we all don't care about their big day when that's not the case.
My opinion is that this was all an expectation/requirement-then that should have been communicated right from the start-rather than complaining when people treat it like the option that it was presented as being.
I feel like the financial pressure is taking away the excitement about the day, if I'm honest. I absolutely want them both to have the best day and to support them in doing that-but part of me just wants the whole thing over and done with. That feels nasty-but it just feels like my DB expects people to magic money out of thin air to do as they want because it's their big day and ignores the cost of living crisis and the fact that everyone has their own shit going on as well.
But I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not.