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Original poster

Could any brides to be please advise?

28 replies

Ineedamakeover · 02/07/2023 14:30

My Ds is getting married at the end of the year and I would like to give my future DIL a gift to welcome her to the family.

They both live abroad and have done since they’ve been together ,so although we have all met a dozen times or so and we video call them weekly I don’t feel I know what her likes and dislikes are regarding gifts.

I’ve noticed she wears minimal jewellery , always silver or white gold ie small diamond studs and delicate necklace. I know she likes high end cosmetics and had thought about buying the Gucci floral eyeshadow palette , so something she could enjoy using and then the compact can be kept and used as a trinket box in the future.

Do you think this would be suitable or not, would any 30 something brides to be be happy to receive this or would you think I’m crazy?

I also have a silver beaded bracelet, similar to the Gucci one, that I bought for my mum who died last year . Is it still tradition to give a gift of family jewellery? I have no idea!
Just to add , she’s a very relaxed , friendly person and we get on well, we’re all extremely happy she’s joining our family.

Any other suggestion would be most welcome, thanks.

Could any brides to be please advise?
OP posts:
veryfluffyfluff · 02/07/2023 16:34

That eyeshadow pallette has bad reviews. If you want to get her a nice eyeshadow pallette look at pat mcgrath.

Harshbutfair · 02/07/2023 16:41

You sound like a really nice MIL to be!!

As a 30-sthg bride myself, I wouldn't have wanted a gift of make up. At my age I know what I like already and would buy it myself.

It sounds like you've noticed her tastes in jewellery so why not buy her something similar?

I also have a silver beaded bracelet, similar to the Gucci one, that I bought for my mum who died last year this would be lovely especially as it has meaning.

Paperbagsaremine · 02/07/2023 16:48

TBH I'd ask your son to unofficially ask her (as long as she is happy to pretend the gift is a lovely surprise when it comes).
With makeup and jewellery and housewares there are subtle differences in taste between generations that it's sometimes very tricky to navigate - "very similar" to you and I might still be "completely wrong" to someone half our age.

OTOH she may really love your ideas. You do you, but potentially there's a lot to be gained by not guessing;)

My FiL offered me late MiL's pearls but I ended up getting some quality kit from his toolshed; I still use the tools to this day and remember him when I do, even though we lost him over a quarter of a century ago.

Justapiercer · 02/07/2023 17:23

If she likes high end makeup what about something like a lip balm. I personally like the gucci & chanel ones but wouldn't buy them myself as they're pricy for a lip balm but make a lovely gift.

Tippingadvice · 02/07/2023 17:45

I think the bracelet sounds lovely.

Original poster
Ineedamakeover · 02/07/2023 19:30

Manythanks for the replies,

I think I will forget the eyeshadow palette, I’m sure as it has been pointed out she will probably have her own preferences re brands etc and especially if it hasn’t had good reviews .

My instinct is to give her the bracelet due to its significance and hopefully she will like it enough to wear, but if not it can be kept as a keepsake. In the meantime I will
look for a trinket box or similar I can put it in to give to her so she gets something new as well. This is the bracelet .

Could any brides to be please advise?
OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 02/07/2023 19:33

Lovely idea.
I'd get something lasting rather than consumable.
The bracelet would be a lovely idea if it wasn't something that you and your mum have. It's a bit cloney. Could you find something that's a similar idea but not the same?

Original poster
Ineedamakeover · 02/07/2023 19:36

The bracelet was my mum’s and passed on to me when she died so I would be passing it on to DIL. We won’t all have one!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 02/07/2023 19:39

If I was you DIL I would treasure the bracelet. I think it’s a lovely gesture.
Its also understated and very wearable in my opinion.

Q1w2e3 · 02/07/2023 19:45

I think the bracelet is a lovely gesture and it’s also a nice piece of jewellery. You sound like you’re a fab MIL to be.

Original poster
Ineedamakeover · 02/07/2023 19:46

Smartiepants79 · 02/07/2023 19:39

If I was you DIL I would treasure the bracelet. I think it’s a lovely gesture.
Its also understated and very wearable in my opinion.

Thank you, that’s what I’m hoping for.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 02/07/2023 19:52

Ineedamakeover · 02/07/2023 19:36

The bracelet was my mum’s and passed on to me when she died so I would be passing it on to DIL. We won’t all have one!

Oh, sorry I misunderstood.

Lovely idea, then.

Harshbutfair · 02/07/2023 20:02

Agree, that bracelet is gorgeous as well as being an heirloom.
Maybe consider when you give it to her as she might want to wear it on the day as her something old.

luckylavender · 02/07/2023 20:06

@Ineedamakeover - I have that Gucci bracelet. It's so easy to wear and unobtrusive. Good choice. I wouldn't buy a trinket box as well though as it dilutes the sentiment.

Hazelnuttella · 02/07/2023 20:18

I think the bracelet would be a lovely gift.
I’m not a bride to be (already married) but I am a 30 something.

MadCatLady27 · 02/07/2023 20:41

Mine for my birthday got me a keepsake box, so I can put bits from the wedding in it - I've already put copies of the invites/save the dates/ a spare order of service in etc. I'll probably put a length of my dress where it's been shortened in, Etc etc

If she's the sentimental type she may like something like that if you feel you need to give something with the bracelet

gogomoto · 02/07/2023 20:53

I would give the bracelet and perhaps some suitable earrings

veryfluffyfluff · 02/07/2023 21:20

Harshbutfair · 02/07/2023 20:02

Agree, that bracelet is gorgeous as well as being an heirloom.
Maybe consider when you give it to her as she might want to wear it on the day as her something old.

Great idea but do also make clear she is under no obligation to wear it

Chickentonights · 02/07/2023 21:24

I think jewellery is a great present especially if it’s a family piece, my MIL gave me a ring that belonged to DHs Granny. She also gave me a lovely jewellery box that I have on my dressing table. Other than this, I would suggest maybe a perfume that she could wear on the day? Something classic like Chanel or Jo Malone. I got married last year and would have appreciated this.

mrstea301 · 02/07/2023 21:31

My MIL bought me Jo Malone perfume, and she had gotten my new initials engraved on the lid which I thought was lovely! She had picked the Orange Blossom scent as that's the traditional wedding scent but it doesn't sit well on me unfortunately, but I still have the bottle 💖

Easterdaffsx · 03/07/2023 10:32

My MIL to be gifted me her mothers ruby and diamond ring . The very gesture was so beautiful for me . So in my experience the gift of your mothers jewellery item would be priceless, classy and very kind x

Chocolateship · 03/07/2023 10:38

You sound lovely OP, I would say be mindful that if down the line they split you might never see the bracelet again, she might not also find it as sentimental as you- i don't want to be negative but it's always worth considering when it's something so precious to you that you should only give it away if you'd be happy to never see it again.

Personally I'd get something new, my PILs got me some earrings, I'll be honest they're not my usual style but I was so touched and I do cherish them because it was such a lovely surprise and I could tell that they'd thought about what to get (I wear a lot of necklaces and bracelets in the same style I'm just fussy with earrings). If go for some jewellery or a beautiful trinket box.

Original poster
Ineedamakeover · 03/07/2023 16:11

I’ll give some thought to the perfume suggestions too as that is also a nice idea.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 03/07/2023 16:19

Perfume, like makeup, is perishable and personal.

Go with the bracelet OP

Original poster
Ineedamakeover · 03/07/2023 16:20

Chocolateship · 03/07/2023 10:38

You sound lovely OP, I would say be mindful that if down the line they split you might never see the bracelet again, she might not also find it as sentimental as you- i don't want to be negative but it's always worth considering when it's something so precious to you that you should only give it away if you'd be happy to never see it again.

Personally I'd get something new, my PILs got me some earrings, I'll be honest they're not my usual style but I was so touched and I do cherish them because it was such a lovely surprise and I could tell that they'd thought about what to get (I wear a lot of necklaces and bracelets in the same style I'm just fussy with earrings). If go for some jewellery or a beautiful trinket box.

It has crossed my mind but I have quite a lot of my mums jewellery so it’s not like it was the only item I have.
It was the only silver item she had, all the rest is yellow gold which I’ve not seen DIL to be wear.

OP posts: