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Original poster

No wedding reception?

65 replies

BoldandBright · 15/06/2023 15:37

Money is limited but we still want to get married and have a lovely day. We are getting married at a local chapel around 1pm, then are going to a nice pub for a wedding breakfast with our 40 guests from the ceremony. We will be paying for everyones meal but not drinks (other than a prosecco toast during the dinner). Then we are hoping to leave around 5/6pm to go on our honeymoon (a lodge retreat for couples).
is this okay? I know people say the reception party is to thank the guests for coming.. but we really just can’t afford the DJ, set up, extra venue hire, more food etc. The wedding breakfast will be more on the relaxed side and I plan to hire a bouncy castle in the beer garden for the children.
Would you happily attend a wedding with this arrangement? Obviously our guests can stay in the pub together after we leave if they want to but would you expect the all night party?

OP posts:
Lkgcsr · 15/06/2023 16:18

Sounds great, I hate how long weddings are and I’m always tired for the evening part

mondaytosunday · 15/06/2023 16:21

Goodness I hate the way English weddings drag on! A lunch reception is enough.

caringcarer · 15/06/2023 16:22

justanothermanicmonday1 · 15/06/2023 15:42

Sounds absolutely lovely!

Congratulations on your wedding!

Ditto. I'd be very happy to attend if I was one of your family or friends.

TheFlis12345 · 15/06/2023 16:28

Bouncy castles are really expensive and need careful supervision so I would ditch that, use the money for a welcome drink or wine with the meal. Maybe ask around and see if you can borrow some garden games like twister or giant jenga for the kids instead?

RuthW · 15/06/2023 16:29

PuttingDownRoots · 15/06/2023 15:41

The meal is the Reception!

You don't need an expensive party to celebrate

This

bakewellbride · 15/06/2023 16:31

We did similar. Registry office, photos in a lovely garden then a nice meal in a restaurant- that was it! And all 3 of those things were a short walking distance from each other. A very lovely, straightforward day that was over by 6pm! The weather was perfect and so are our beautiful photos. The guests were very happy with the day. Do it op!

Preps · 15/06/2023 16:32

My wedding was like that, so was my parents'. I think the "evening do" is a relatively recent invention to enable people to invite lots of people in the cheap and not that long ago this was completely usual

I much prefer a wedding where B&G leave early to go away that evening.

neilyoungismyhero · 15/06/2023 16:34

One of my children had the traditional wedding, lots of guests evening do. Another had a pared down similar affair, self catered. The third had a meal in a Harvester with close family. All of them were lovely special days, not one better than the other others. They celebrated the day exactly as they wanted.
Hope you too have a brilliant day.

Preps · 15/06/2023 16:34

Actually fairly recently I went to a wedding with about 30 guests in a pub. They'd booked a children's entertainer which helped everyone have a fun relaxed afternoon.

Hotandverybothered · 15/06/2023 16:34

I think it sounds perfect…can I come 😊

inappropriateraspberry · 15/06/2023 16:35

I'd say that is a reception. A meal with all the guests is fine. I think I'd like to be invited to a shorter day with less hanging around!

Talia99 · 15/06/2023 16:37

That sounds great. My understanding is etiquette says you need to offer some hospitality to your guests and that usually should include a meal if over a meal period.

You are doing both and it sounds lovely.

There is no obligation to have the party carry on into the night. Nothing against people who do do that. If that’s the wedding they want, that’s also fine but no obligation either.

I thought you were going to say everyone had to pay for their own meals and that would be an issue in my mind.

Fattygettingthinner · 15/06/2023 16:40

God folks are so grabby. It sounds wonderful op. You don’t need to provide wine for goodness sake. The Prosecco is enough. Nor do you need to stay and mingle go enjoy your honeymoon.

Pollywoddles · 15/06/2023 16:41

I’d be delighted to attend a wedding like that. I hate having to hang around until people start leaving (usually 1-2am) at weddings so that I’m not the first one gone.

Puzzledanddissatisfied · 15/06/2023 17:10

Sounds absolutely fine but I'd make sure of two things.

Firstly, that the guests know you'll be leaving at the time you plan to. I went to a wedding once where the bride and groom just vanished and no one was sure if they were coming back or if it was the end of the night or not. It made for an odd atmosphere.

Secondly, if you think they might want to do so, make sure guests can stay on in the pub after you leave and the tables aren't booked for another function. You don't have to have the same tables or the same number of spaces but it would be good for those who want to stay on a bit to have the option.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 15/06/2023 17:24

It sounds fine to me . I hate the current trend for OTT wedding experiences . The bouncy castle for the children sounds a lovely idea, although could be a waste of money if it rained.

I really, really hope that if my son decides to get married some day, that they don't waste £000's on a wedding reception .

ErrolTheDragon · 15/06/2023 17:59

I'd much rather go to a wedding like this than one with an all night party, or any sort of evening do tbh.

ALittleBitAlexa · 15/06/2023 18:39

I would attend (assuming it's a weekend), but I would probably expect an all-night thing so you should make it very clear on the invitations that you intend to leave at 6. Dunno, I mean it's up to you obviously but you'll probably find the afternoon flies by and leaving at that time feels a bit of an anti-climax.

ReviewingTheSituation · 15/06/2023 18:41

Sounds like the perfect wedding to me! Have a lovely day.

meditrina · 15/06/2023 18:48

I know people say the reception party is to thank the guests for coming

Never come across that one. The reception is the party which you host to celebrate with your guests. It doesn't have to include an evening do,. The plan you have for your reception sounds just fine to me

IsItThough · 15/06/2023 18:51

It sounds beautiful and perfect

Whippetlovely · 15/06/2023 18:54

It’s your wedding day, you do whatever you want to do. I’d be happy with anything the bride wanted.

UsingChangeofName · 24/06/2023 00:47

It sounds lovely, but I do agree I'd make sure everyone was clear beforehand that it is an afternoon Reception any you will be leaving at 5.30 or whatever.

Berlinlover · 24/06/2023 01:36

If every wedding was like yours I wouldn’t hate weddings. It sounds perfect.

Newestname002 · 24/06/2023 06:26

@BoldandBright

Would you happily attend a wedding with this arrangement? Obviously our guests can stay in the pub together after we leave if they want to but would you expect the all night party?

That sounds lovely. Relaxed, not overlong and little/no need for expensive overnight accommodation. I agree with others about wine/beer at your wedding breakfast and I'll bet people won't mind buying their own drinks afterwards. I certainly wouldn't mind. 🌹